Learning to Fly - Ch13

Thank you to my beta mxpi1970.

I own nothing, but Edward’s new car is swish and he might let me test drive it if I’m lucky!

As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

~xxXxx~

CHAPTER 13

EPOV

I wondered at Carlisle’s change of heart. I thought we were tackling this together, but now he was shutting me out, excluding me from their ‘family’ business. That stung.

Hearing Emmett pull up, I headed out to meet him, glad of the distraction. He was beaming, happy to have an excuse to leave the paperwork behind for a while and also an opportunity to rib me about my vehicular choices, no doubt.

“Hey, dude!” He clapped me on the shoulder, his huge hand nearly knocking me sideways. I grinned at him.

“So, what are looking at today? Must be private sales, as it’s Sunday and there’s nowhere else open.”

“I lined up some possibilities earlier in the week for you, remember? If none of those are suitable then we’ll keep looking til we find something you like. I’ll look ‘em over for you; I know what I’m doing and I maintain this baby myself.” He caressed the dash lovingly.

I snorted.

“Do you two want to be alone?”

He laughed easily, throwing the jeep into gear and pulling away.

“So do you need me to test drive ‘em for you?” He raised a questioning eyebrow.

I shook my head. “No, I’m good now, thanks. I’m looking forward to getting back behind the wheel.”

He nodded. “That’s good. Getting back on the horse is the best thing to do.”

I smiled to myself, relaxing back into the comfortable seat. After a few minutes of silence, each thinking our own thoughts, I decided to ask the burning question.

“So how was the concert? I haven’t seen you since Wednesday. I thought you’d be regaling me with stories of the night by now. I’m guessing Rosalie let you down gently after the date? You know, gave you the whole ‘let’s be friends’ spiel?”

I wound him up mercilessly and with total confidence knowing that there was absolutely no way Rosalie had blown him out. Women loved Emmett; he was so respectful to them, not to mention his good looks and physique which didn’t hurt the odds any. I reckoned he could be a model if he chose to. Knowing Emm, it had probably never crossed his mind; he wasn’t a vain guy, despite his love affair with the gym. I started slightly, looking at him curiously. No – no attraction there. He was simply a friend who happened to be a stunning specimen of manhood. I chuckled inwardly; at least our friendship was secure, and it further confirmed what I had told Carlisle this morning.

Just thinking about him made my heart fly, before plummeting to earth as I remembered this morning’s conversation.

I’ll deal with that later.

Meanwhile, Emmett was grinning like a fool – a good sign.

“It was awesome! I don’t remember much of the band; I spent the night trying not to stare at Rosie!”

Rosie?

“So she was happy about the surprise?”

“Oh, man, she was ecstatic! I don’t think she really believed it until she saw the signs outside the venue. She held my hand from that moment on, and hardly let go all night.”

I swear he was going mushy right in front of my eyes. I tried to look shocked, I really did, but the corners of my mouth were twitching.

“Are you actually telling me that she agreed to a second date?”

“You bet. I was so tongue-tied that I almost didn’t ask, but then she asked me!” His face was even more animated than usual.

“She took my breath away, Ed; just dressed casually in jeans and a soft, red sweater, she was a goddess. I felt unworthy of her, until some guy tried to pick her up right in front of me. She put her arm around my waist and glared at him until he backed off! I was as stunned as he was! She spent the rest of the concert leaning back against me, swaying to the music. I could smell her hair every time she moved, feel her warmth under my hands; it was the best first date I ever had. After I walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight, she asked when we were going out again and I think I mumbled something. Anyhow, she laughed and said there was a car show on that she really wanted to go to; a car show! I’ve found the perfect woman, Ed. Rosie is it.”

He radiated happiness like sun on a winter day, and I fist bumped his shoulder to show my support. He looked at me sideways, his eyes dancing.

“Who’d have thought it; both of us happy with new partners at the same time? Everything is finally coming right for us.”

I smiled, keeping silent.

Emmett noticed, but, before he could ask, we arrived at our first designated stop on the crazy train called ‘Let’s Find Edward a Car’. The first car we saw was a newer model of my beloved old Subaru. It didn’t look too bad at all but, on closer inspection, Emmett noticed it needed a lot of welding work done and there was a troublesome leak in the trunk. We decided to pass. The second place had a couple of potentials according to Emmett, but when we arrived the first thing I saw was a Wrangler Jeep and I snorted with laughter, remembering Carlisle’s comment. Emmett looked at me questioningly and I just shook my head, chuckling.

“Sorry, Em, not gonna happen.”

He shrugged, a grin plastered on his face. “Worth a try.”

The other model was a Ford, a nice, clean example of its type, smooth sounding engine and good performance. After the test drive, I could see Emmett’s mind working.

“Seriously, Ed. This? But not the Wrangler?”

“It’s good, but I’m not 100% sold on it. Are there any more to see?”

He nodded, and promised the buyer we’d confirm one way or another, later that day.

The last place on the list was in a very classy part of town. In fact, when we arrived I was convinced we were in the wrong place, but Emm jumped out and left me to follow. When I caught up with him, he turned.

“I got wind of this one just yesterday and thought it might be worth a look.” His spoke under his breath although, as yet, no one had appeared. Then I heard the whirr of an electric motor and the garage door opened to reveal two vehicles within, both polished and gleaming. A lady appeared from a side door, all smiles, and greeted Emmett.

“Mr McCarty? We spoke on the phone. This is the one for sale; as you can see I’ve gone for the new model, and the other is now surplus to requirements. I could have traded it in, but I thought I’d probably do better with a private sale. Those salesmen want you to virtually give them the car, you know.” She tutted under her breath as she led us over to a black Volvo that looked to be perfectly maintained and I saw that it was only four years old. Finding my voice, I spoke at last.

“Excuse me, ma’am, it looks like new. How many miles has it done?” She gave me the figure and I gaped before closing my mouth abruptly. She must’ve thought I wasn’t keen, as she went on to explain.

“I do the shopping twice a week and I go see my sister once a month, so it all adds up.”

“Yes, ma’am, it does.” I was always polite, but inside I was jigging with happiness. This car was almost new, had virtually no mileage on it to speak of, and yet somehow the owner thought I might not be interested! Of course, there was the small matter of the price, something I was going to leave to Emmett. I knew what my insurance company were likely to pay for mine and it was a pittance, the minimum payout they could make due to the age of the car. I had some savings, but probably not enough for this. I knew Emm had offered to help, but I feared I would need to borrow too much. Emm was checking the engine and asking about service history and documents. When he turned to me, jangling the keys, I jumped.

“Want to give her a try?” You bet I did!

The car handled like a dream as well it should as it was barely run in. I told Emmett how much money I had, and how much I was likely to get in compensation from the insurance company. He didn’t flinch when I told him I wouldn’t accept much from him as the last thing I needed was debt. I let him negotiate as I was sure that, left to me, I would pay exactly what the lady asked for without question. Emmett wouldn’t scam her, it wasn’t his style, but he would negotiate in order to show his interest. The end result was I bought a car for more than I could afford, but which was worth considerably more than it cost. Driving home, I was a little shell-shocked and Emmett just laughed, saying I was to pay him back when I could. I promised him the insurance money as soon as it hit my account. Now all I had to do was arrange fresh insurance and I could go pick up my new baby.

As I thought through what I needed to do, Emmett broke the mood.

“What’s up with you and the doc?” I looked up sharply.

“We’re okay, it’s nothing.”

“It’s something. You two have an argument?”

“No; he just...” I grimaced.

“Go on.”

“He didn’t want me to go to Esme’s with him. He said it would be best if it was just... family.”

Emmett fell silent for a moment, a pensive look on his face.

“He said that?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you say? Did you call him on it?”

“No, I said it was okay, and then I called you. I need time to think about it, and whether it’s simply a case of he isn’t ready for me to be a part of his family yet. I’ll talk to him, don’t worry. I just don’t want to come over as a petulant, whiny child who didn’t get his own way. I want us to be equals.” I half laughed. “As equal as a surgeon and a bartender can ever be, that is.”

“You know he doesn’t think like that.”

I sighed. “Yeah I do. I’m just venting.”

Emmett smirked. “Venting involves raised voices and high octane emotion, usually ending in something being thrown or broken. I should know; I’ve witnessed it first hand when I forget a birthday or anniversary.”

I choked out a laugh. “What can I say – I’ve grown.”

Sensing my lack of enthusiasm, he unwittingly changed the subject to another delicate matter.

“What are you doing for your birthday? We’ve only got a week to decide. Has Carlisle got anything planned for it?”

“Nothing; he ... uhm... doesn’t know. At least I don’t think he does.”

“Edward! It’s your 21^st! You have to celebrate it – it’s like an unwritten law! If you don’t end the night in a total mess, unable to remember who you are, then I’ve failed as your friend...” He tailed off, clapping his hand over his mouth. “Edward, I’m so sorry. I forgot for a moment.”

“It’s okay!” I slapped his shoulder. “Memory loss, however it’s caused, isn’t something I want to experience again anytime soon.”

“I’m sorry, dude. I open my mouth without engaging my brain sometimes.” He shook his head ruefully.”Rosie doesn’t know what she’s letting herself in for.” I laughed this time.

“I’m sure she’ll work it out soon enough!”

“I just hope she still likes me after she does.” His head drooped. “So – your birthday; what are we doing?”

I shrugged.

“With Carlisle’s suspension and all the crap in the papers about us, I’m willing to forget about it this year.” I looked at Emm, and seeing his puzzled expression made me realise he didn’t know. I shook my head.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m back at work tomorrow, remember? I’ll explain the whole sorry story then.”

“Okay, you make sure you do. Now, are you telling the doc? He’s gonna be hurt if you hide this from him.”

I stayed silent, racked with indecision.

~xxXxx~

He dropped me outside the house, and I saw Carlisle’s Mercedes in the driveway. I told Emm I’d see him in the morning and we’d sort out the collection of my new car then. Thanking him, I jumped out and made my way inside.

I walked into the kitchen, pulling out a chair and sitting down with a sigh, my hands clasping the back of my neck, my head sinking down. I heard him come in, not speaking immediately as he approached the table and sat down opposite me. I didn’t look up, feeling the awkwardness settling around us.

Not good; we’ve never been awkward before.

He broke the deafening silence first, just as I could bear it no longer.

“Edward, I was wrong, and I am so sorry.”

I glanced up then, my brow furrowing in surprise. He continued, looking like he needed to get this out before he lost his impetus.

“Esme made me see sense. She was less than impressed that I didn’t let you come today; she put me in my place and she was 100% right in what she said. We should be united in this; this is family business and you are family now. When I think back to what you said this morning, I’m so ashamed. I’ve gotten so used to dealing with these things alone that I forget I have support now...” He shook his head, eyes tight, his hands moving restlessly on the table top. “Forgive me?”

I half smiled, looking at him under my lashes.

“It’s okay. I do understand, you know. You made a bad call, and you won’t be doing that again, will you?” I arched an eyebrow and saw his face sag with relief at my forgiveness.”We’re a team, you and me. Don’t forget it.”

His hand reached for mine.

“Never again, I swear.” I squeezed his fingers as I bit my lip, heat rising in my cheeks.

“Good. You know I’ll hold you to that. So, uhm... I have a confession...”

He looked momentarily worried until he saw my blush.

“I ...ah...didn’t want to say anything, but Emmett pushed the issue, and I know him well enough to guarantee that he will if I don’t; especially if he sees you in the bar this week.”

I was babbling. Carlisle looked bemused.

“Okay, slow down. Should I be worried?”

“No! No! It’s nothing bad. It’s just that next Sunday is...” I swallowed, hating this, “my 21^st birthday, and Emm wants to-” I was stopped short by Carlisle pulling me into a kiss across the small table; “...celebrate...” I finished weakly as the kiss broke.

“What do you want to do?” He looked at me, his eyes bright.

I shrugged. “I’ve honestly no clue. I’m in no mood to get drunk off my face and forget the whole event. I’ve had enough forgetting to last me a lifetime. Maybe a beer or two wouldn’t hurt though.” I grinned.

“Well, I have some time this week while you’re working to figure something out. Do you trust me?” He narrowed his eyes and I burst out laughing, all traces of tension dissipating in that moment.

“Of course I do. So – do you want to hear my other news?”

I told him about my afternoon with Emmett and the car we had bought. He was relieved that I had bought a safer model and chuckled for some time when I revealed that one of the cars had indeed been a Wrangler Jeep.

“Told you!” he snorted with laughter, and I started to giggle uncontrollably, his mirth contagious.

“He certainly doesn’t give up. Oh, and you’ll be pleased to know that he and Rosalie, or should I say ‘Rosie’...” I raised my eyebrows with a smirk, “have a second date lined up. Despite him being a total dork at times, the guy always gets the girl and I’m happy for him. He’s really smitten.”

As our laughter finally ebbed away, I looked at him and broached the subject of the elephant in the room that couldn’t be ignored.

“So... how’d it go with Esme?”

~xxXxx~

Esme’s POV

I watched Carlisle drive away, marvelling at his composure in the face of adversity. I knew the calm exterior was a front, something he was practised in as an essential part of his job, but nevertheless I admired it. I was a mess; hair poorly styled in case of visitors, makeup hastily applied for the same reasons. Left to my own devices today I would have stayed in bed. Sharing the worry with Carlisle had helped ease it a fraction, but his fresh news had also inadvertently worsened it.

I shook my head. I wasn’t a weak person; I had endured both divorce and bereavement, as had Carlisle, but this trauma with Lauren had me wanting to curl up and weep. She was distant, moody and churlish and I was at a loss as to what to do next; Lauren needed help, that much was clear. This sort of behaviour was off the scale and I wondered if the Edward situation had flipped some switch in her that she herself could not reverse.

I waited, my chest tight and my breaths shallow, as I prepared to tackle the problem head on.

Watching through the window, I saw her approach the front door slowly, her feet dragging as if weighted down by rocks. I sat quietly, fighting to breathe normally, trying to focus. The door clicked open and closed, and a pale, washed out version of my daughter walked in, starting slightly when she saw me. When her eyes met mine they slid away, and I wondered exactly when my daughter had become unable to maintain eye contact with me; we had always been so close. She turned without a word and headed up to her room and I followed. She looked startled to see me in the doorway, indignation quickly taking centre stage. I had expected this, and so I spoke first.

“Sit down, sweetheart. We need to have a serious talk.”

I saw the spark of defiance flare in her eyes.

“Your father was here earlier. I think you know why.”

She paled at my words.

“Make me understand, Lauren. Make me understand why your father is at the centre of a malpractice suit, why he is in the papers with his private life exposed to the world and his job on the line. And most importantly of all, make me understand why his own daughter is the one responsible for this.”

She wouldn’t look at me. I felt my anger blaze and fought to keep it under control, knowing that I had no chance with her if I let it loose. I had never laid a finger on my daughter in anger, but at that moment I felt my nails dig into my palms.

“Tell me!”

She studied the wall fixedly, completely unresponsive. Then her head turned.

“He deserves it. They both do.”

I felt my blood pound in my head.

“How can you still say that? How can you justify ruining his career because he fell in love? And Edward too – this has to be hard enough for him, embarking on a relationship with a man, without it being splashed across the papers. They have enough obstacles to overcome without you adding more.” I paced a circle, unable to remain still. “Did you know that your father is being accused of the most awful things? Did you even read those papers that you hid from me? They are cheapening his reputation by accusing him of sleeping around, Lauren – your devoted, loving father, the man who grieved for Marcus for three solid years.”

She didn’t even flinch and I feared that I might not be able to reach her at all. The thought scared me.

“What you are doing to him is evil; he doesn’t deserve this pain. You and Edward were never likely to last, you’re so young. You will meet someone new, someone far better suited to you; why try to hang on to Edward? He doesn’t want you – he told you himself. He was honest with you; the relationship had run its course. It was time. Let him go and move on.”

She stared at me then, eyes dull and empty; emotionless. I felt a chill at that stare. Where was the anger? Where was the fire? My daughter had an answer for everything; something was very wrong here. I spoke, hesitantly.

“Your father and I think you should see someone. A professional.”

There was the barest flicker of life in her eyes then.

“A shrink? Is that your answer?” She gave the barest echo of a laugh. “Go ahead, try. It won’t help; nothing can.”

“It will, Lauren. With time we’ll get to the bottom of this; fix whatever’s wrong.” I could feel tears threaten and I struggled to maintain my composure. “My darling, why aren’t you sleeping? I hear you crying in the night. You hardly eat, you’re losing weight – I can see it. Are you anorexic? Are you being bullied by those girls? Tell me it isn’t some dangerous new diet. Lauren, I’m your mother; why won’t you talk to me? Help me understand. Please.”

Silence.

I sank down onto her bed, my hands cupped over my face. My voice was strained when I spoke again.

“What did you hope to gain from telling those awful lies in the hospital? Did you plan this from the start or was it just some whim you acted on? There are lawyers involved now, and the Chief of Emergency Medicine has to publicly defend the hospital; your father will have to make a statement to the press. This is beyond serious – don’t you understand?”

When she merely shrugged again, my nails dug into my palms. I had one weapon left in my armoury, even if it would never ever happen.

“Lauren, your father could sue you for slander. You could be arrested.”

She blinked.

“Your life could be ruined before it even starts.”

Tell me, sweetheart, please.

Her eyes bored into mine as she spoke, her voice so forlorn and defeated that I felt tears prick my eyes.

“It already is.”

~xxXxx~

EPOV

Waking up the next morning, I found the bed next to me empty, the pillow cold. Sliding my legs out, I reached for my robe and went looking for him, finally tracking him down in the garden, a cup of tea in hand. He heard my approach and smiled when I slid my arms around his waist, my chin resting on his shoulder.

“How long have you been up? The bed’s cold.”

His voice was calm, belying his true feelings.

“I couldn’t sleep; I came out here and watched the sun come up. It was so beautiful and peaceful; I should do it more often.”

“Don’t worry about today. It’s a formality, that’s all. If you need to talk after, come to the bar.”

I kissed his neck and he turned around, his smile lighting up his face as he pulled me tightly into his arms.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. And I have a birthday surprise to plan, so I’ll be busy!”

I grinned.

“Let’s not go overboard with that. Just a few quiet drinks will be fine. Feel free to bring Alice and Rose if they want to come. I like those girls; they love you almost as much as I do.”

“I’ll tell them you said that.” He chuckled, before brushing my lips with his, his nose nuzzling mine. “If you go get ready I’ll drop you at the bar on my way to the hospital.”

I looked at his watch.

“You let me sleep late?”

“You looked so peaceful. Besides – you have plenty of time. I’ll make you a tea.”

When I had showered and changed, I drank my tea and ate some toast before joining Carlisle in the car. He looked handsome, and I hoped that if there were any press lurking around they would at least get a shot of him looking his best. With luck that wouldn’t happen; hopefully the legal team had already prevented this from being picked up by a more major paper. I sighed, and he looked at me.

“I’ll be back home in a couple of hours, don’t worry. I’ll come get you when you finish up tonight – 11.30?”

“Should be, by the time I’ve finished clearing up. If it changes I’ll text you. Mondays are usually quiet; it’ll give me a chance to fill Emmett in on the goings-on. He’s coming in today to make sure I’m okay, and in case there’s any trouble.”

I yawned and stretched as we pulled into the parking lot.

“Okay, here we go; back to reality.” I leaned in and kissed him, pouring all my love into that one kiss to get him through the day ahead. Resting his forehead against mine for moment, he breathed deep and pulled back.

“Great – turn me on and send me off to a legal inquiry. I never realised you were so cruel!”

I sniggered.

“I thought it might give you something else to focus on!” Leaning in, I kissed him once more, briefly this time, and jumped out of the car, winking at him through the window as I walked away. As he drove out of the lot I remembered the last time I’d waved him off here, and how this time I knew for sure that we’d still be together when the day ended.

As I turned and walked into the bar, smiling to myself, I heard the shout from the back room.

“That you, Ed? So get in here and tell me just what the fuck has been going on.”

Oh, boy...

~xxXxx~

Learning to Fly - Ch12

Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 who keeps me on track and provides much needed inspiration in times of need.

As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

~xxXxx~

CHAPTER 12

CPOV

Rolling over, I laid thinking about what I needed to do. I had considered Edward and I going to talk to Esme, but, in truth, I thought it best if my ex wife and I spoke privately first. I knew that Esme wouldn’t feel comfortable talking openly about our daughter in front of him. She had yet to speak to him since his break up with Lauren, and I felt that they needed to meet under better circumstances.

I would explain all of it to Edward when he woke; perhaps he could go and see Emmett today as not having a car was getting him down, despite my willingness to drive him. I understood his feeling of helplessness all too well: tomorrow morning was my meeting with the lawyers, and marked the start of my suspension.

Sensing I was awake, Edward turned over, nuzzling into my neck sleepily. My fingers found his hair, caressing the soft strands in a soothing gesture. He sighed, responding to the almost hypnotic action. I didn’t want him to stress about tomorrow; there was nothing he could do now, we just had to wait this out. Hopefully, returning to work tomorrow would give him some focus, and distract him in a constructive way.

Not willing to leave the warm body next to me, I lay there for another half hour, planning exactly how I was going to broach the subject of Lauren’s actions to Esme. At best, this wasn’t going to be pleasant; at worst, this was going to be a huge shock.

Edward was suddenly awake, bolting upright and surprising me out of my deep reverie. His eyes were wide before he realised where he was.

“What’s wrong?” My hand rested on his shoulder as I pulled myself up to face him.

“Nothing... nothing. I-I just...” I heard his dry throat click, and he closed his eyes tight for a moment before looking back at me. “I dreamed they took you away from me...” His voice was confused.

“Who? Who took me away?”

“The judge said we broke the law, and we were locked up. We weren’t allowed to see each other.”

I turned to face him fully, my face level with his.

“It was a nightmare, my love, just a nightmare. No one is taking me away from you, no one. If you ever decide that you want rid of me then you’ll have to send me away yourself.”

His eyes were fathomless as he gazed intently at me, his head tilted a fraction. His voice was soft as new fallen snow.

“Why would I ever do that?”

I felt exposed and vulnerable in that moment, my heart naked and raw in his hands as I spoke my fear aloud.

“Because one day you may decide you want more than I can give you, like a family of your own, for example.”

The thought that he may one day leave me was ever present in the recesses of my mind. No matter how it happened, when I thought of my life without Edward it was a life of darkness and despair, an empty, aching chasm of loss.

He stroked my cheek, tilting my face to his, and whispered against my lips:

“Never; I will never stop wanting you. I dream about you even when you’re lying next to me.”

His lips brushed mine so tenderly that I melted into him, our lips merely toying with each other causing the blood to pound through my veins directly to my groin. He pulled away to look at me and I gasped at the loss of contact.

“You have to know, the way I feel about you...” He shook his head. “I didn’t just make a conscious decision one day to date a guy; I’d never really thought about it. I just saw you one day and that was it. I don’t love you despite you being a guy - I love you because you’re Carlisle, the person who turned my life upside down and made it a thousand times better than I ever dreamed it could be. Carlisle - you are my family.”

His face was so open, his eyes pleading for understanding. I pulled him into a tight embrace and just held him close, my morning stubble chafing his shoulder as he pressed reassuring kisses along my neck.

When he pulled back I kissed him lovingly.

“I’m going to go shave else I’m going to get you all scratched up.”

He rubbed his own rough jaw, smiling ruefully. “Good idea. Call me when you’re done.”

Smiling, I swung my legs out of bed and padded over to the en suite, closing the door. I took care of business and washed up before completing my teeth cleaning and shaving routine. The door opened as I was rinsing the sink, Edward appearing in the doorway looking somewhat dishevelled. Seeing me patting my face dry, he grinned, cleaning his teeth before reaching for the shaving foam. I watched him work, enjoying the steady glide of steel against his razor sharp jaw as his face re-emerged from the foam. He smiled at my observation, his eyes drifting more than once to my semi-hard shaft.

“Eyes on the job, Edward!” He smirked and continued the rhythmic stroking of blade on skin.

He rinsed the razor and admired his work before drying off and rinsing the sink. Then he turned to me and I felt my breathing catch at the raw desire I saw burning in his darkened eyes. I fumbled for the shower switch and in seconds the shower room was filled with steam. I backed into the spray and Edward followed, closing the door behind him and leaning back against it casually. He watched the water sluicing down my body as I smoothed back my hair, intentionally displaying myself, offering myself to him. In a second he was in front of me, pinning me up against the tiles. His wet body pressed against mine, his erection sliding alongside my own as both pressed into my stomach, our urgency for each other blatantly apparent.

He pinned me in place with his blistering gaze, his mouth a whisper away from mine as he slowly ground his hips in an obscene and utterly intoxicating movement, the head of his cock dragging its way up my shaft until the swollen tip rubbed against my own. A long, low moan escaped my lips.

“Edward...”

As the hot spray beat down, he fisted my wet hair and slammed his mouth to mine in a kiss that flamed through my entire body like crackling fire. My tongue reached for his, craving union; when they met the adrenalin jolt of desire that coursed through me made my stomach clench in anticipation of more. I held his ass firmly, rotating my hips to further entice him in this dance of desire. When he broke the kiss I was dizzy with need, each breath feeling as if it were being literally torn from my lungs.

His voice was rough, but adoring.

“Are you sore from last night?”

I shook my head, my chest heaving.

“A little, but not enough to say ‘no’ to you.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

When he reached into the rack for the lube and a foil packet, I turned around and leant my forearms against the tile, bending to give him greater access. Expecting his fingers, I shuddered with pleasure when his tongue fluttered against my hole; his fingers gently spreading me open as he loved me with his mouth. Pleasure radiated out from my entrance as his warm tongue caressed the delicate flesh, relaxing the muscle to ease his way. It took no time at all before he was able to slide two wet fingers into me, scissoring gently until a third heavily lubed finger could finally join them. Soft moans filled the steamy room as he worked my muscles readying me for more, and when I felt the head of his beautiful cock press into me, so very slowly, I felt nothing but joy. When his balls were against my ass he stilled, his hand reaching around to grasp my straining erection as he planted heavy kisses and bites to my deltoids. My body jerked as he swept his thumb over my tip, and he released me to place both hands on my hips, gripping my wet skin tightly.

True to his word, he withdrew and re entered my body with slow, deliberate moves, barely more than a rocking motion at first, until he felt my body move in encouragement. I felt him increase his pace, moving a little more forcefully, pausing only once to drip more lube on to his shaft for my comfort. My orgasm started to coil in my stomach when Edward changed his angle of penetration a fraction; he now brushed my gland on each thrust and I was moaning repeatedly as his arms wound around my waist to pull me into a more upright pose. He kissed and bit along my neck, reaching up to twist my nipples as he surged in and out of my body and I felt my orgasm approaching fast like a juggernaut. I turned my head and, in between gasps, asked him for what I needed.

“Edward, my love, I want to come in your mouth.”

He withdrew carefully and kissed me before kneeling, capturing my rearing cock in between his reddened lips. I thrust into his mouth and on into the opening of his throat; his green eyes locked with mine, the spray raining down on his upturned face as I exploded into his hot mouth, crying out his name in ecstasy. He licked me clean before the water could steal what was his, my legs almost buckling with the pleasure. He moved swiftly round behind me to hold my body in position, stroking my back tenderly as he positioned himself to re-enter me. This time it was purely for his own gratification, and I arched my back as he slid home, his balls slapping against my ass. He built a fast rhythm, and it was mere seconds before I felt him pulse inside me, filling the condom and screaming his release as his arms held me flush against his heat. When our bodies regretfully parted, I pulled him in for a series of slow kisses punctuated with soft murmurs of love and devotion.

~xxXxx~

As I sipped my coffee, I turned to Edward.

“I think it would be best if I go and speak to Esme alone today.”

He threw me a questioning look over his bowl of granola.

“I need to have a long talk with her about all this and I honestly feel she will feel more comfortable if it’s just the two of us at this point. Are you okay with that?” I looked at him searchingly.

He took a long swallow of coffee. “It’s fine; I get it, I really do. I guess this isn’t the best time for me to try and win her over.” He smiled, a sad look in his eyes, and I felt his frustration. “It’s okay; I’ll give Emm a call, see if he’s heard of any cars for me.”

He reached for his cell as I rinsed out the breakfast dishes. I could only hear Edward’s side of the conversation, but by the time he hung up he was smiling.

“Emm knows of a couple of good cars for me. He’s gonna swing by in an hour.”

I grinned. “What are the chances that one of them is a jeep?”

He rolled his eyes. “I think we both know the answer to that.”

~xxXxx~

An hour later I was driving over to see Esme. I had no idea what I was going to say to her; our daughter had clearly tried to cover her tracks. I fervently hoped that she would come clean at last and be the grownup I so needed her to be right now. Pulling up outside, I killed the engine and sat back for a moment, gathering my thoughts. Acutely aware that Esme’s neighbours might be watching, I made my way to the front door and knocked sharply. She appeared, looking slightly less polished than usual. Alarm bells started to ring.

“Carlisle, sweetheart! Come in, come in.”

I followed her in and closed the door, hugging her in greeting before following her into the lounge room and taking a seat on the couch. She frowned as she sat down in her armchair.

“Is everything alright with you and Edward? You seem ... preoccupied.”

I sighed. I knew then that she had no idea what was going on.

“Esme, darling, I’m guessing there’s a lot going on that you aren’t up to speed with.” She pulled a face, her eyebrows rising.

“Such as?”

“Edward and I went to the bar Wednesday evening. Clearly only Edward was expected, as there was a girl there who tried very hard to seduce him. When I walked in, the girl said something totally unexpected. She said she didn’t know it was me that Edward was dating; only that it was a man. It turned out that Lauren was there with friends and had tried to set Edward up to lure him away from me. It backfired on her as her friends now know who Edward is really dating. They were bullying her, Esme. I know she brought it on herself, but when we both confronted her outside, she eventually confessed that she hadn’t slept with Edward – that it was all a lie. Not before claiming to be pregnant, of course; one last desperate attempt to win him back.”

I saw the horrified look on Esme’s face. I laughed humourlessly.

“Don’t worry; she changed her mind quickly enough when I appeared and offered her a sonogram.”

Esme was pale, her hands twisting agitatedly. I wasn’t looking forward to the next part of this discussion.

“I thought we were all okay after that; that we could bury the past and move on. But unfortunately...” She looked up at me sharply.

“There’s more? What more can she possibly have done, Carlisle? She has humiliated both herself and you. She has made me ashamed to be her mother. What more can there be?” Her voice was rising and I knew I had to tread carefully. I breathed deeply to steady myself before plunging onward.

“Edward and I went away for a couple of days after that. When we came home, Alice and Rosalie came over. Esme...” I fisted my hair, realising I was picking up on Edward’s nervous habit. “Esme, Lauren had been to the hospital the day before the incident in the bar.”

Before I could explain, Esme jumped in.

“The hospital? Is she okay? Why was she there? What aren’t you telling me?”

I held up my hands in defence and she visibly calmed herself, her hands wavering over her knees as she breathed. I carried on talking.

“She’s fine. It’s what she did while she was there...” I started to explain the whole sorry tale, from the angry, misled patients to the homophobic backlash. She winced frequently as I recounted the facts as they stood. When I mentioned that the Chief was aware, she relaxed, sure that he would deal with the matter. That was when I handed her the newspaper articles, and she saw for herself just how far out of hand this situation had gotten. Her eyes widened with worry when she saw my picture, and she was silent as she read them both in their entirety. Looking up, her voice was faint, her face white as chalk.

“And all this is because of our daughter? Oh Carlisle...” I was shocked to see tears roll down her cheeks, her hands shaking as she smoothed the newspaper repeatedly across her knees, knowing full well just how badly she wanted to rip it to shreds.

“You never saw the papers did you? I knew it. When Alice told me about this, I wondered why there was no message from you on the answer machine or my cell.”

“No; we haven’t had the papers for nearly a week. I complained to the store about it. No one mentioned a thing to me. But you said you two had made up – I don’t understand all this...” She wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands before plucking a tissue from the nearby box. I swallowed hard, feeling guilt riding heavy on my shoulders.

“Without speaking to her, our best guess is that she thought all this would blow over and we wouldn’t find out. I can’t imagine for a moment that she intended the papers to get a hold of this, can you? Edward has concluded that she wanted to embarrass us, to make us feel as humiliated as she does. It makes sense.”

Sniffing delicately, Esme looked up.

“Why didn’t you bring him today? This affects him too – you’ll both be openly outed when this is all done. I know his name isn’t mentioned directly in the papers, but still...”

I looked at her in surprise.

“I didn’t think you’d be comfortable discussing private family business with him here; you two have no real relationship yet.”

“All the more reason to bring him, Carlisle. And if you and he are serious, which I suspect you are, then he is family and we need to talk sooner rather than later, don’t you think?”

I nodded sheepishly. As always, Esme’s logic was impeccable and humbling. She had accepted Edward because he was with me and because she trusted my judgment. I felt rather embarrassed that I had suggested Edward not come. I have some apologising to do.

“He’s going to stand alongside me during all this, even though it does mean outing himself at the same time. He says that all the important people in Seattle already know, and he will be speaking to his mother; it’s a done deal. I am so proud of him. I didn’t dare dream that he would do this for me.”

Esme smiled warmly, but then her face fell.

“Carlisle, what’s going to happen to you? Is your job secure? Can you continue to practice here in Seattle?” Her face was creased with worry.

“I have a meeting with the Chief and the hospital legal team tomorrow morning. They have all the paperwork that concerns Edward’s care; there won’t be a problem there. They anticipate a three day suspension while this is all sorted out, and a press call. The damage is to mine and the hospital’s reputations. Mud sticks, and I may get patients refusing to let me treat them. There’s also the matter of a lot of hospital staff looking at me in a whole new light.” I sighed. I would never be comfortable with my private life on show. “It’s going to be like living in a fishbowl; now I know how the fish in the aquarium feel.”

“Pish!”

I looked up and saw her shaking her head at me.

“Carlisle, when all this is over, you will have Edward. Isn’t that worth a little discomfort and embarrassment? What I want to know is whether you will be moving hospitals.”

I took a deep breath.

“I don’t plan to. Edward’s work is here, and our friends and family. It isn’t ideal, but we may have to muddle though and wait for the storm to pass.”

“So what’s happening while you are suspended? You must be lonely without Edward there.”

He goes back to work tomorrow anyway, so I won’t be seeing much of him. But... he’s going to stay on a few more days until the dust has settled.”

“He’s staying?”

“Just for the three days.... what?!” She was trying and failing to hold in a smug grin.

“Nothing! Just thinking about how comfortable you two are living together. He’s getting used to being there with you; it’s like you’ve been together for months already.”

I chuckled, the smile spreading over my face.

“I love having him there when I wake up, Esme, I can’t deny it. But I’ll adjust when he moves back home; I know he’s keen to get back to his own place. He’d have the piano there if he could.”

“What piano? Since when did you have a piano?”

“Since yesterday! It’s for him to practice. He has such talent and nowhere to play, so I rented one for him.”

Esme’s eyebrows were in her hair, her eyes dancing.

“Oh, Carlisle, you do have it bad!”

I shook my head.

“You wait until you hear him. He will move you to tears.”

She looked sceptical, as she always was where Edward Masen was concerned. She lapsed into silence; when she spoke again her voice was serious.

“I’m worried about Lauren.”

“You’re not alone there. She’s banned from the hospital unless accompanied by one of us. The Chief was very clear on that point when we spoke on the phone. Her behaviour was deliberate and planned.”

Esme sighed heavily.

“This is more than acting out. Something is very wrong; there has to be more to this than jealousy. She’s been so quiet, so pale. When you mentioned her turning up at the hospital I immediately thought the worst. She hardly eats and her sleep pattern is erratic and patchy. I’ve asked her what’s wrong, but she won’t talk about it. Do you think she needs to talk to someone? Like a ... professional?” Her voice cracked.

“Maybe it would help. I can make some calls.” My hand was in my hair again. “Our private lives are going to be completely blown open after this.”

She gave me a sad smile.

~xxXxx~

THE FOLLOWING DAY

Walking through the hospital doors, I held my head high as I approached the elevator. A few people nodded at me as I passed, and I let out a sigh of relief as the doors closed without incident. Arriving at my floor, I felt the first prickle of apprehension as I stepped out into the ward, feeling the eyes of the room focusing on me as I walked calmly down the corridor, the chatter quietening as I passed. I smiled at Alice and Rosalie who gave me a subtle ‘okay’ sign as I headed to the Chief’s office.

Knocking and waiting, I heard the ‘Come in’ and opened the door to voices within. The Chief was there along with a guy I wasn’t familiar with. Must be the new guy. Stepping forward, he held out his hand to me, a confident, genuine smile on his face.

“Dr Cullen? I’m Jasper Whitlock.”

I shook his hand, appraisingly. Smart suit (tailored, if I wasn’t mistaken), crisp shirt, short, dark blond hair left a little longer on the top to emphasise the wave, and green eyes not unlike Edward’s. I warmed to him immediately. It was clear in the way he swiftly and succinctly outlined the facts as they stood that he was very good at his job. There was the faintest hint of a Texan accent that I suspected would be a smash hit with the ladies in the hospital. I smiled to myself; overall Mr Whitlock was the whole package.

“We have reviewed all of the case notes for Mr Masen, and it is clear that you and he were not physician and patient. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest malpractice, or indeed any kind of illegal activity. So, what now needs to be done is damage control both for the hospital’s reputation and for yours, Dr Cullen.”

I nodded.

“Is there anything you wish to add for the record?”

I looked him in the eye, not wanting there to be any misunderstanding.

“Only that Mr Masen and I are in a relationship that began prior to the accident that brought him into our ER. I’m sure that Edward would be happy to verify that if need be. When he was brought in immediately following the accident, I was terrified he might die. My good friends and colleagues Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale kept me updated on his condition; I wasn’t permitted to see him until after his surgery, much less treat him. I was just another worried relative praying for my partner’s recovery.”

If my openly admitting my orientation surprised him, he didn’t show it. He jotted down a few words and looked up at me with a reassuring smile.

“Leave it to us, Doctor. By the way, how is Mr Masen doing?”

“He’s well, thank you. All signs of concussion have disappeared and his wound has healed well. He started back at work today, in fact.”

Whitlock nodded. “Good. Living with a doctor must’ve been a blessing for him.”

I chuckled. “Getting him to relax during his recuperation wasn’t – he isn’t an easy patient. But don’t be mistaken, he doesn’t live with me. I asked him to stay when he was released from hospital so I could check on him more easily. He’s staying on until this unpleasantness is resolved and then returning home to his own apartment; he’s very independent.”

I tried to keep the note of sadness out of my voice.

“Well, okay!” He shut his notes, decisively. “So, Doctor, I’ll be in touch once I have this under control. Chief?”

I turned too; waiting for the official line I knew was coming.

“Carlisle, until this investigation is officially completed, you are formally suspended. The lawyers anticipate this taking around three days. You will be advised when you are able to return to work.”

Interview over, I shook hands with Jasper Whitlock and the Chief, leaving the office to return to my quiet, empty house.

~xxXxx~

JPOV

That guy is a professional, right down to his polished shoes.

Reading the case notes for Mr Masen, it was immediately apparent that Dr Anders had been the only physician to treat him during his stay at Seattle General. No mention was made of Doctor Cullen in the entire detailed record. The nurses listed would be interviewed next and I fully expected them to verify that fact.

What a strange case. No evidence to point to malpractice. What on earth happened here? Such a waste of company time and hospital money.

Dr Cullen did not appear nervous or jumpy as was often the case. His information had been given frankly and honestly, no sign of insincerity. Good eye contact, clear voice, no anxious smoothing of clothes or fiddling with cuffs.

The way his eyes lit up when I asked about Edward; clearly a man very much in love.

I had been told that it was his own daughter who made the accusations against him, something I found particularly hard to swallow. No reason was given as to why she would make such claims, especially when they were blatantly untrue. They had however caused much consternation amongst the Board members.

Looking at my papers, I checked the ages; quite a gap. I smiled to myself.

How wonderful to find someone who makes you so obviously happy. Perhaps that was it: his daughter was jealous of Daddy having a young, handsome boyfriend.

I could see the attraction. Carlisle Cullen was a very attractive, charismatic man, and rather reminded me of a professor at law school. Mentally shaking myself, I looked down at the list of nurses’ names on my pad. I opened the door to call my next member of staff and found a dark haired angel standing before me. She smiled shyly, and I enquired as to her name.

“Alice Brandon, sir.” Her voice was lilting and musical and I beckoned her inside, trying hard not to stare at her in a way that was decidedly not professional.

She sat down in the empty chair, and I cleared my throat. I started to speak, absurdly uncomfortable, my collar feeling too tight, my jacket heavy and hot, my whole body feeling restricted and confined. I could feel her eyes watching me closely, seeing my discomfort.

“Good morning, Nurse Brandon, my name is Jasper Whitlock. I’m the lawyer for the malpractice accusations against Dr Cullen and Seattle General.”

She nodded, her eyes luminous in her small face. I shook myself mentally and started asking my questions. She replied in that sweet voice, hesitating until I clarified that I was knew of the relationship between Mr Masen and Dr Cullen. Relaxing visibly, she answered my questions, telling me of Dr Cullen’s hospital vigil after the accident and how he had slept in his office as he waited for news. She explained how she and Nurse Hale had arranged for Mr Masen to have a private room so that Dr Cullen could visit privately, away from prying eyes; how he had not left the hospital until he knew Mr Masen was out of danger.

Her devotion to the doctor was clear, and so I enquired as to their personal relationship. She told of their long friendship stretching back to when Dr Cullen had first transferred to the hospital from Forks with his long-term partner. She, Nurse Hale and another nurse, Alistair Byrne, had all socialised with them; more tellingly, she haltingly revealed how instrumental they had all been in supporting him when his partner passed away.

We talked a little more about his conduct, his patient record and whether he had any other complaints made against him during his time in Seattle. Nurse Brandon’s demeanour turned rather frosty at what she interpreted as an inferred accusation. The Chief confirmed there had been no other incidents or complaints against the doctor during his time at Seattle General; his record was clean.

When I asked about his daughter, Lauren Cullen, who had allegedly started this whole inquiry by making allegations in a crowded public waiting area, I sensed a shift in mood from Nurse Brandon. She appeared both angry and a little sad. To me, the reasons for this outburst were unclear, and I questioned the nurse as to why she believed this girl would do such a thing. Her voice faltered as she showed signs of genuine distress; her tone, however, was icy.

“I don’t want to discuss that. If you seriously need to know then I respectfully suggest you speak to Dr Cullen.” My interest was piqued. The Chief looked surprised at Alice’s tone, leading me to believe that this side of Nurse Brandon was not often shown.

“I’m sorry. May I just ask: is the reason relevant to this inquiry? If it is then I will need to know. What drives a daughter to do this to her father?”

Her pretty face crumpled and she shook her head. “I can’t discuss that. I was told in confidence. Please talk to Dr Cullen if you must. It’s not something he wants the world to know about. It’s too personal.”

She looked to the Chief who spoke kindly.

“It’s alright, Alice. I understand your position. I will speak to Carlisle myself.”

He turned to me.

“Is that acceptable, Jasper? If it is relevant then I will pass on the information.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you.”

I turned to Nurse Brandon, Alice, and held out my hand.

“Thank you for your time.”

She shook my proffered hand tentatively, blushing at my smile and holding my hand a little longer than strictly necessary. I looked down before meeting her eyes again, feeling like a schoolboy with his first crush. Finally releasing her hand, I cleared my throat.

“Could you send in Nurse Hale?”

~xxXxx~

The Promise

A Twific Reviews drizzle.

The prompt: “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” ~George Eliot

~xxXxx~

I got a call today.

What she said took me back to that weekend we spent in the mountains. Snuggled up in front of the fire, you told me to reach for the stars, let nothing hold me back, not even you. I argued that you were the brightest star in my life, and you laughed, telling me I was deluded.

Leaning back into the curve of your neck, I knew that my life was with you wherever it took us. The needs of the one were outnumbered by the needs of the two. I had no life without you in it; you were the sun around which my world revolved. Your warmth of spirit, your generosity and your endless capacity for love were what shaped me, made me strong. I was at peace when I was in your arms.

The weather had turned, and it snowed hard that first night. We didn’t care; the real world slipped away as we made long, languorous love in front of the crackling fire. The sounds of pleasure you made beneath me were the perfect music to my ears and I needed no other. To me, your gasps and moans were more cherished than even the beauty of Debussy; eliciting each sound from you was like discovering the perfect melody over and over again. Hearing my name fall from your perfect lips was pure poetry as I loved you with my mouth, my body, my soul. Our kisses would’ve made Venus herself weep as our tongues worshipped each other, each indelibly claiming the other. And when I lay beneath you I knew there was nowhere I would rather be; heaven was here on earth as your hard body moved rhythmically with mine, your eyes professing your love for me eternally as we breathed each others’ air and reached for the stars together.

You felt you were holding me back, stopping me from being what I was destined to be. I told you that fate decided my destiny the day I met you. For some reason this made you sad, as you believed that our meeting had stunted my ambition and made me settle for less than I was worth. We fought a little about that and I told you repeatedly that my life was with you, belonged to you. Before we met, my piano was an escape from reality, a way to disappear deep into myself. I had no need of that now. I played only for pleasure. You were scared; scared that you wouldn’t be enough me for me and that I would resent you for holding me back. How wrong you were. You inspired me, became my muse, and I wrote so many pieces all dedicated to you and my overwhelming love for you.

I only wrote that letter because you insisted, and because I would do anything to make you happy and see that smile that lit up my life. I never expected a response. It was unthinkable, as was the thought of ever leaving you. But you made me promise and so I did.

I will be joining the symphony on their next tour, Jasper. I got the confirmation letter today and I was desperate to tell you, knowing how happy and proud you would be of me, my love.

But I got a call today.

“Edward, this is Kate from the hospice. I’m so very sorry but your husband passed away during the night. Jasper’s at peace now.”

Noisy, wrenching sobs escape me as I fall to the floor, my world collapsing. I wasn’t there with you, and now I never can be again. You never told me how sick you were until it was too late, and I couldn’t care for you all by myself. And now, somehow, I have to go on without you. I promised you, and I will never forget that promise.

Goodnight, my beautiful Texan. Our music will live on with me forever.

I promise you.

~xxXxx~

If I Knew You Were Coming I'd Have Baked a Cake

(An entry for the 500 word quickie contest)

Characters: Emmett & Rosalie

Disclaimer: All characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

~xxXxx~

I had the DVD all set up and ready to go, just waiting for my girl.

“Babe – don’t forget snacks.”

She walked in and I did a double take, dragging my gaze up from the soles of her skyscraper heels to her absolutely pointless, yet hotter than all hell, sheer camisole.

And she was carrying a bowl of... was that melted chocolate?

“Are we having fondue?”

She dipped her finger in the chocolate, sucking it provocatively. I raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“What are you planning, babe?”

She didn’t answer, sashaying over to the couch. Kneeling seductively, she pulled off my shirt and pushed me back against the cushions. A grin stole across my face at the mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Dipping her fingers in the chocolate, she daubed it around my nipple before sucking it off, watching me under her lashes the entire time. Repeating the action on the other nipple, she added a cheeky tongue flicker, causing an involuntary groan to escape my throat.

The view, combined with her teasing, was already causing a significant reaction lower down.

With a flourish, she wrote her name across my chest. Sitting back, she admired her handiwork.

“You don’t have to brand me babe. I’m all yours,” I teased.

Putting her fingers to my lips I sucked them in, causing her breathing to hitch. The tip of her tongue ran like a line of fire down my chest, smirking like a satisfied cat as I bucked at the maddening sensation.

The feel of her tongue, coupled with that dirty little smile, was having a rather profound effect on me. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to reciprocate; the thought of licking her all over was driving me half crazy with lust.

Removing her flimsy covering she let it slither to the floor, her dilated eyes fixed on mine as her beautiful breasts and curves were exposed to my gaze. When I reached out and cradled her breasts, she sighed.

Drizzling chocolate over my abs, she lowered her face to my stomach. I brushed her silky hair away from her face and watched as her agile tongue chased the trickles running down my six-pack.

Her actions were now sending rather more urgent messages lower down.

Dipping my fingers into the bowl, I wrote across her stomach:

S.U.C.K. M.E.

In retaliation, she wrote across mine:

L.I.C.K. M.E.

I leaned up on my elbows and breathed the words directly into her ear:

“You first...”

Sitting back on her heels she opened my jeans, releasing my throbbing length to the air. With a lustful groan she kissed me hard, her hand coating my hardened flesh with sweet chocolate before she slid down, opening those delectable lips to suck me expertly, her hands working my shaft.

My moans and gasps encouraged her, and as my orgasm hit she pulled back, melted chocolate smudged all over her face, as my essence mixed with the chocolaty smears all over our bodies.

Truly the perfect frosting.

~xxXxx~

Dirty Little Freaks

TLS Lyrics & Lemons Contest

Song: ‘Nobody Owns Me’ – Belinda Carlisle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYbODzB1nic

Rating: M

Word Count: 3754

Pairing: Carlisle/Esme

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fan fiction. All characters are owned and created by Stephenie Meyer. Music and lyrics are the sole property of the writers C.Caffrey/M.Holden/C.Lieberman. Performed by Belinda Carlisle.

Summary: 13th century Scotland. Forced to marry as strangers, they hid the truth of their marriage from those around them. That is, until the night the freaks came out to play.

~xxXxx~

Prologue

When Lord Carlisle was told by his Chief Adviser that he needed to take a wife to secure his title and formally claim his ancestral home, his first thought was of his cuckolded father, controlled and suppressed by his overbearing mother.

As a child he had listened as his parents privately bickered and sniped at each other in their loveless marriage, heedless of the small boy hearing everything through the stone wall of the solar. Despite his nurse’s best efforts to distract him, he would bury his head beneath the pile of furs on his mattress and dream of freedom and open spaces where he could ride his horse, free from the shackles of marriage and the subsequent pain and unpleasantness that inevitably followed.

Despite being the figurehead and the Lord of the castle, Carlisle’s father was a weak man who had little control over the day to day running of the estate, barking orders to servants and tradesmen alike to hide his own impotence and shame. His wife had taken a lover, a nobleman with the party from England who visited Scotland several times a year with gifts from the King to secure their ongoing relations. His wife had undertaken relations of her own with the handsome traveller, further undermining Lord Alistair’s standing.

There was no reason at all to believe that their son was not his; the child had his same blond hair and green eyes, and bore a striking resemblance to Alistair’s father, and so his wife’s adultery was overlooked, brushed under the mattress, the Cullen line secure.

Lord Carlisle had no intention of succumbing to the kind of life his parents had endured.

~xxXxx~

Esme’s POV

My mother woke me herself early that morning, an event so unusual and unexpected that I was immediately alarmed. Whilst my attendants readied my bath, my mother fluttered around, laying out my finest gown and mantle and combing out my long, dark hair with her finest bone comb.

While I was scrubbed and polished, my mind panicked at the reason for all this fuss. Surely we were not having guests? Mother could never keep such a secret from me. Since Father passed away, she and I were all we had; we were fortunate that we had enough money to pay for our two servants as that was all that maintained the illusion of our social standing. I was the daughter of a nobleman; my father had aristocratic blood in his veins and I was his only daughter, his pride and joy. Losing him was the greatest blow I had ever had to bear. Selling what few valuables he had left behind had supported us thus far, but I knew my mother had ideas of improving our social status. And it appeared that today was the day I was to find out just what those ideas entailed.

~xxXxx~

I finally found myself dressed in my finest green gown and embroidered girdle, my mother’s only fur mantle around my shoulders. I was grateful for the fur as it hid my shaking limbs as I prepared to face my future.

My mother had shooed the servants outside to tend to the animals, and when we were alone she finally sat me down and broke the news.

“My child, it is all arranged. You are to marry Lord Carlisle! He has seen you in the village and decided that you are the girl for him! Isn’t that exciting? Today you get to formally meet for the first time as a betrothed couple. This is a fine match, my daughter. You will get to live in the castle, and your children will be of noble blood. Everything is falling into place. Now, when he comes today, make your mother proud.”

I was to be married. I always knew this day was coming, but I had dreaded it with all my heart. I had prayed daily to Tara, my goddess of protection, for this day never to occur. I did not want to take a husband, I wanted to be free, free to study and better myself, not become a man’s possession.

I want to dream my dreams and live them too; do a million things before I’m through. Nobody owns me; I don’t want to be anybody’s fool. No one can make me do what I don’t want to do.

I had never seen Lord Carlisle at close range and so I was unsure if I should even recognise him at close quarters. I hoped that I would not please him, that he would realise he had chosen wrongly. It would break my mother’s heart, but I knew that I could not allow this to happen.

All too soon I heard approach of horses, the jingling of their bridles a calling card to the occupants within. My mother took my hand and led me to the door, her excitement curdling my breakfast in my stomach.

On seeing him I realised that he was far more handsome that I had realised; hair as golden as the grain and eyes as green as the Scottish hills around us. I had also not realised his age – he was 17 summers, strangely old for a Lord to be unmarried. I wondered at the reason; perhaps he had been widowed already, maybe he had lost a wife to childbirth. Or perhaps, just perhaps, he was every bit as against this marriage concept as I.

In the end however, it made no difference. My mother campaigned for a short engagement and a lavish wedding. Given the opportunity I would have championed a long engagement – long enough for him to find someone better suited, and leave me be. A wedding date was set for one month hence – the day of the summer solstice. I was trapped as effectively as a fly in a web, destined to become Lady Esme, married to a man I would barely recognise if I passed him in the village.

At 15, I was by far the oldest of my unmarried friends and destined to become a spinster lady in waiting if my mother had been unsuccessful in her bid.

Privately, I wished she had been.

~xxXxx~

3 YEARS LATER

Looking back, the wedding was a blur; I remembered that it had rained, the weather matching my mood. At my mother’s behest I had worn the family jewellery, my only contribution to the marriage, save for myself. My gown had been my mother’s, altered to fit my slight frame. I had no dowry to speak of, but my new husband did not appear to care. Afterward, when we had the opportunity to talk freely, he sat me down and told me the real reason for the marriage and it was then that I realised that he wasn’t interested in me as a mate.

Discovering that I was simply a means to an end, a way to secure his inheritance, should have horrified and disgusted me but, in truth, I was delighted with this news. Explaining my feelings to him, I made him see that I too did not desire a mate, wanting only to be free to study. So it was that we devised a plan to convince the world at large that we were man and wife in every sense when, in all actuality, we lived comfortably as brother and sister, sharing the bed in the solar out of necessity only.

Once we had dismissed the physical aspect of our relationship, we discovered that we were surprisingly compatible. Carlisle enjoyed reading, riding and hawking and, as we were often seen out together with the horses, the townsfolk believed us to be like any other newlywed couple enjoying each other’s company.

Only my mother was perturbed by the lack of a grandchild. Before my wedding she had made sure I knew what was expected of me on my wedding night to please my new husband, and she had advised me on how to endure the necessity of regular intimacy until I had successfully filled my empty belly with a Cullen heir. Her regular visits to check on our progress caused much consternation; each month she would discover my flat, empty belly, eventually insisting I go to visit the local healer. I agreed to go on my own and brushed off her attempts to accompany me. I would deal with this personally.

Arriving at the old lady’s hut, I called out and waited for admittance. The curtain was pulled back and her wrinkled face looked out before ushering me inside into the smoky room, dropping the heavy curtain behind us. I explained I was there because of my mother’s concern at my barren condition. The old crone looked at me sharply.

“Child, are you here because you desire a bairn, or because you desire to please your mother?”

“Is there a difference? I am expected to bear an heir and my mother would prefer it be sooner rather than later. I think she fears for my marriage – something I do not fear at all.”

“Have you made offerings to your goddess, child, for surely she will help you in your plight.”

I was able to answer honestly to that one.

“I have indeed, Wise One. Many, many offerings have been made and I am sure she is listening to me.”

Tara has made this marriage suitable for my needs. She has indeed kept her side of the bargain.

“Then all I can do is to give you a conception potion. This is powerful magic; the herbs were all picked at the height of the last full moon and blessed by the goddess, Brigit. Drink an infusion of this at the midpoint of your cycle – it will help your belly quicken.”

She leaned in closely, her piercing eyes effectively pinning me to my seat.

“And stay away from pennyroyal, artemisia, willow and rue. They will prevent pregnancy, and that’s not what we are after now, is it?”

I shook my head mutely, wondering how strong her rumoured powers actually were. It concerned me that she seemed to see inside my head and I stood quickly, grasping my unwanted pouch of herbs. I offered her the coins I had brought and she bit them before accepting, shooing me out of her hut and into the bright light outside.

As I travelled slowly back to the castle, unnoticed in my shabby disguise, I thought over what the old crone had said and decided to tell Carlisle about it, lest he be questioned at any point by my mother, although that event was unlikely as she avoided him wherever possible. Not surprising when all she wanted to talk to me about was ‘women’s business’.

As I approached the courtyard to the castle, I retrieved the carrot from my pocket, quickly shrugging off my old mantle and stowing it in its hiding place. I made my way to the stable to see my favourite horse, Firefly, brandishing her favourite treat that Alice has given me from the kitchen. I saw the stable hand mucking out across the yard and smiled tentatively. He was a handsome man, huge in stature and with hands the size of hams but so gentle with the horses. And yet, when we had visitors their horses seemed terrified of him, bucking and rearing until their own men settled them down. I found this strange, and I mentally added it to a list of other strange occurrences I had witnessed around the castle.

I had noticed early on in the marriage that something was not quite right in the castle. Our staff were very polite, respectful and discreet, for surely they knew of mine and Carlisle’s arrangement. How could they not? But they were unusual and definitely fitted into the ‘strange’ category.

At first I believed them to be related as they all had eyes of amber that occasionally darkened to almost black. I wondered how they appeared to change colour and decided that it must just be how I perceived them on bright days and dull days. When I curiously enquired of my maid, Alice, if she were related to the others, she merely bobbed her head, confirming in a quiet voice that she was married to my husband’s manservant, Jasper Whitlock. Such an unusual name, but the boy was certainly attractive and he and Alice were doubtless well suited. She cleared away my breakfast bowl and, after asking if I needed anything more, backed out of the room.

I sighed. I had no friends, no one to ride with, save my maid and husband. It was expressly forbidden for me to leave the castle unattended; ludicrous considering how I had lived before my marriage. Now I wore fine gowns and mantles – fancy fripperies in exchange for my freedom.

Reaching the stable, I held out the carrot on my palm, her whiskery lips taking it so gently, her crunching echoing around the building. Hearing steps behind me, I started.

“So sorry, my lady, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Turning, I saw the broad shoulders of Emmett, the stable hand, blocking out the sunlight from the open door. Relaxing somewhat, I turned to him with a smile.

“She looks good. She’s exercising and eating well?” I stroked my mount’s neck, ruffling her mane as she blew happily on my face.

“Yes, my lady, she is in fine shape. Will you be riding later with his Lordship?”

“Yes, Emmett, when his Lordship has finished his business we will be riding. Have her saddled in an hour for me?”

He nodded and went back to his duties.

Watching him walk away, I remembered the time a wheel had broken on a visitor’s cart. The cart was loaded full of provisions and it took two horses to pull it, and yet I had watched Emmett lift it clear of the broken wheel and replace it. There had been no other witnesses and I wondered if I had dreamed it.

Other strange occurrences around the castle included a spat that broke out amongst the kitchen staff which was settled wordlessly and silently. One moment an argument was in full swing, the next it was as if the fight had never happened, everyone immediately calming and going about their business. Alice, my maid, could predict when visitors were coming, and Edward, our cook, answered questions that hadn’t been asked.

It was eerie.

One night, several days after my visit to the old crone, I had a disturbing dream.

In it I saw my lady in waiting, Rosalie Hale, a picture of beauty and grace, always so respectful and dutiful. Only she did not look elegant and ethereal in my dream; I saw her filthy, feral and blood smeared. I woke, gasping in terror, on the verge of screaming.

I told Carlisle in the morning and he suggested I rest. I saw the worry in his kind, green eyes, as if he believed I were under a curse or something similar and, sure enough, later that day a healer came to visit to cast out any demons that resided within me. I didn’t talk, but I knew there was nothing wrong with me – it was the staff that were wrong in some way.

The next night I had the dream again, longer this time. Rosalie was looking directly at me in the dream, licking her fingers; the little dark haired scullery maid, Bella, next to her laughing as she licked the blood from her arms before I woke again, gasping for air.

Climbing out of the bed I made my way to the window in our tower room, my nightgown fluttering around my feet on the stone flags. The moon was full, the grounds lit as if it were day. Peering out, I heard strange noises below and I craned my neck to see further.

What I saw took my breath away.

The servants were running impossibly fast across the hill behind the castle, laughing and... were they playing? I could hear their whoops and cries as they tackled each other to the ground and then, to my disbelief, they began to disrobe, casting their clothing to the ground and cavorting under the moon as naked as the day they were born. As I watched, I saw my lady in waiting and the stable hand fornicating against a tree, the sound of splintering wood reaching my ears on the wind. I heard their laughs as the tree collapsed and they continued their act on the grass, their grunts and moans as audible to me as if they were in the same room.

I saw the cook and the scullery maid in some ungodly pose, their bodies topping and tailing as they rolled around in the tall grass, engrossed in each other.

My head spun. This was what my mother had told me about? This was the thing a wife was supposed to ‘endure’? Rosalie didn’t look like she was enduring anything, especially when she pinned Emmett to the ground and began to writhe her hips over him, his enormous appendage buried within her most intimate parts. As she tormented the big man beneath her, my eyes slid to my maid. Little Alice had her legs wrapped around Jasper’s waist and was bouncing as if at a full gallop. And she was laughing as he suckled at her breast like a hungry baby.

They are devil spawn. I knew something wasn’t right.

As I watched them they suddenly stopped what they were doing and, as one, turned to face my window.

My breath caught as six pairs of eyes were trained on me in that moment. But then I felt something... odd. I felt hot, as if I had just climbed from my bath. My breasts felt swollen, their tips tender and sensitive under my gown. Unaware of my actions, I brushed my hand over them and moaned at the jagged spikes of pleasure that danced across my body and down between my legs. I held tightly to the ledge as my breathing came in rough gasps, wave upon wave of heat hitting me and turning my legs to water. I touched my thighs, running my hands over my flesh until it was no longer enough. Standing shakily, I pulled my gown over my head, the night air cool against my overheated flesh. I felt as if I had taken too much mead, my bones feeling loose and malleable, and my body craving something I couldn’t identify.

It wasn’t until my hand drifted between my legs that I found some relief, the hot flesh leaping at that first touch of my inexperienced fingers. My cries were loud enough to rouse my husband who, on waking, stared at me as if I were bewitched.

But then the strange wave of heat hit him too, and he crossed the floor to me, removing his sleeping garments and throwing them to the ground heedlessly. His eyes found mine and I saw a heat in them that had never been there before. His hands touched my bare flesh for the very first time and I felt my body cry out for him, a need that could not be denied.

Was this how it was meant to be?

His warm hands cupped my breasts, squeezing them tightly, making me moan. As I watched out of the window, I felt his body heat behind me and something hard pressing against my buttocks; there was wetness on my thighs that I couldn’t explain. My legs were pressing together as I watched the servants fornicate, my body now more than eager to copy them. Jasper still stared up at us, even as he and Alice bucked and writhed together. I whimpered and pushed back against Carlisle’s hard body, silently asking for what I needed. I didn’t understand it, but I knew I had to have it or die.

My husband kissed my neck, sweeping my hair to one side to gain access to a sensitive spot beneath my ear. When he found it my head fell back, and Carlisle’s lips finally found my own for the first time since our wedding. But this was no innocent newlywed kiss, this was heated and passionate. We were devouring each other like animals, grunting and moaning as our hands slid over sweaty flesh, finding new places to touch and explore.

I bent over the ledge, my hands gripping tight as I looked back at him under my lashes. I had seen the animals do it this way and at that moment I was no longer a woman, I was a common beast in the field to be rutted by the male. As I watched him over my shoulder, I saw Carlisle take himself in hand and prepare to mount me. Somewhere inside my mind I was terrified, but the fear was eclipsed by raw need. As he pressed into me I felt a tearing and screamed, but then the pain ceased and I felt him in me fully, his body flush against mine.

While both of us watched the servants he started to move, slowly at first, both of us finding our way uncertainly. But he got bolder and his thrusts grew in power, pounding into me, my breasts flattened against the cold stone even as I pressed back against him in encouragement.

The combination of the dizzying heat, his strong body and our mutual passion was enough to make me cry out as an explosion happened within me, stars blooming behind my closed lids. I heard his harsh cry and felt warmth as he discharged inside me before sliding away, our coupling complete.

His lips found mine once again and I fell willingly into his waiting arms.

No, nobody owns me.

Nobody but you.

As I looked one last time, I saw the servants disappear at supernatural speed into the moonlit night.

The following morning there was plenty of fresh meat for the castle.

And all the servants had startling amber eyes.

~xxXxx~