Summary: When two children meet they
each find the best friend they’ve been missing.
Years later, one family tries to destroy their dreams for the future,
but dreams and friendships are powerful, refusing to simply fade away with the
summer sun...
Written for the First Time Contest.
Pairing: Jasper/Edward
Rated M for slash
Disclaimer: All recognisable
characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer.
A/N – This story is all thanks to my
good friend Karen Finnigan who cajoled me into entering this comp even when I
was completely sure I would never be able to write a thing in time. Thank you, babe;
I couldn’t have done it without your encouragement.
~
0 ~
It was one of
those long, hot summers that seem to last forever.
I grew up in
the country and had no real experience of big city life. If I was honest, I
wasn’t really keen on rectifying that situation either.
So there I
was, aged eight, out playing in the fields near my house, when I heard a truck
pull up to the big old house next door that had been empty forever. The place
was run down and pretty sad looking and I pitied the folks moving in and all
the work they had ahead of them. What I didn’t know was that they had a son who
was my age, an only child like me since my big brother had left home two years
before.
It wasn’t
until I heard a woman’s voice carry across the quiet field that I realised the
implications this could have. I liked my own company and this kid could be
really lame and follow me around like a bad smell all summer. Worse - he could
be a bully and make my life hell. All in all I wasn’t happy about this new
development.
“Honey – why
don’t you go explore and your father and I will start unpacking your room. Just
don’t go too far and make sure you can still hear us, okay?”
I grinned to
myself and wondered if he’d even have the guts to leave the front yard, let
alone come out into the field. So I was pretty surprised when I heard cautious
footsteps coming towards me, following the flattened path I had made as I hid
from the world.
When he
stumbled onto my hiding place he looked surprised for a moment but then he
spoke.
“Who are
you?”
I looked him
over, seeing smart, city clothes and shoes already covered with dust. His hair
was neatly combed and from what I could see, his hands were clean. He couldn’t
have looked more out of place if he’d tried.
I sat up and
shaded my eyes.
“I’m Jasper.
You moving in next door?”
“Yeah; my dad
lost his job and we had to leave the city and buy somewhere cheap, mom said.”
He
looked down for a moment and then back at me. “Mom and dad used to talk after I
went to bed and I managed to listen in on some of it.” He looked me over
curiously. “You’re all dirty.”
“So?”
“Mom goes mad
if I get dirty.” He looked down at his
feet, saw the dust and rubbed the shoes with his hands.
“Don’t you
have any old clothes to wear? I wear my brother’s old stuff to get dirty in.
You can’t stay clean living here, it’s too dusty.”
He looked
awkward.
“Uh, no; mom
gets rid of anything that’s a bit worn as she says I look untidy.”
I grinned
then. “She’ll change her mind when she’s been here for a few days and you come
home covered in grass stains and mud from the creek.”
His eyes
widened, whether in fear or excitement I couldn’t tell, but I was kinda looking
forward to helping him loosen up a little. We had no airs and graces out here
in the middle of nowhere, North Dakota, and he would soon learn that. I hoped
his mom did too.
“So – can I
hang out with you?”
And that’s
how I met Edward.
~
0 ~
It was blisteringly
hot. While I helped with the move as much as I could, my folks eventually sent me
out to play when I got bored and distracted. Edward was sent out with me and we
sat on my front porch, drinking cold sodas and finding out more about each
other. Over the next couple of days my mom and Mrs Cullen cleaned house and
made new curtains for the big windows while my dad and Mr Cullen repaired the
roof, the walls... everything.
Their water
supply wasn’t great and it turned out the main pipe was cracked. My dad had had
plenty of practice and Doctor Cullen was a quick study, learning what to do and
being a real help rather than getting in the way. My folks were really happy to
have a doctor living next door and invited them over for supper that first
night. It felt a little awkward at first, with them being strangers, but Edward
and I were already discussing my plans to take him to the creek the next day and
didn’t realise they had stopped talking to smile at us as we chattered on, full
of schemes for the day ahead.
Looking back,
I think our parents became friends because we did.
The next day
I showed Edward the creek, the water cool and inviting as it shushed over the
stones in the shallows. He looked nervous and I wondered if he was scared of
the water.
“Edward –
let’s swim! The water will feel so good!”
I pulled off
my shirt and threw it into the long grass at my feet. He looked uncomfortable,
looking from me to the water and back.
“What’s
wrong? Can’t you swim?”
“Of course,
but I don’t have a suit.”
I laughed.
“Is that’s
what’s bothering you?”
He nodded.
“You don’t
need a suit. There’s no one else here but us. Our folks can’t see us and mine
wouldn’t care anyway – they know I swim here. Come on!”
I pulled down
my shabby shorts and kicked them off before sliding down my underpants and
leaving them in a tangled heap in the grass.
Edward’s eyes
goggled.
“You swim
nude?”
“Well, yeah!
I don’t want to get my clothes all wet. Are you coming in?”
Turning my
back, I walked down the bank and jumped in where the water was deeper, feeling
the shock of the cool water on my body. It was bliss in the heat. Rolling over
onto my back I sculled my hands, looking to Edward to see what he would do. He
set his face as if having a stern inner conversation with himself before
pulling off his shirt. His jeans were next and then he was standing uncertainly
in his jockey shorts, looking at me with trepidation. I saw him bend over and
then heard a splash as he joined me in the creek with a muted scream of shock.
Swimming up
to me, he grinned.
“This is
great - feels weird not to have a suit on.”
“You don’t
wear one in the bath do you? Think of it like that.”
I splashed
him with water and he spluttered before retaliating by sending a wave over my
head. All around us the only sounds were the wind whispering in the wheat
fields and our laughter. Later, we lay in the long grass, drying off under the
hot sun, Edward telling me about his old home in Florida. It sounded amazing
and I understood why he could be unhappy moving here. Surprisingly though, he
seemed to be adjusting well, finding the wide open spaces more to his liking. He
appeared to be a loner, not missing anyone in particular from his old home.
The more we
talked, the more there seemed to be to Edward Cullen. I felt a little like a
country hick in comparison and wondered if he and I would have been friends if
we’d met in Florida. He was intelligent, scoring ‘A’ grades with ease, whereas
I got by in most classes with a respectable B minus. Edward loved books whereas
I loved horses; we couldn’t afford to keep them so I spent time at a
neighbour’s place a couple of miles away. They let me ride whenever I wanted,
and in exchange I helped out with feeding and mucking out. I wondered if Edward
would think my pastimes were dull, but he seemed to be really interested when I
told him and so I offered to take him with me the next time.
We became
really close and went everywhere together. I taught Edward to ride and he took
to it easily, so much so that my friends let us borrow horses and go for a ride
whenever we came over. While it was exhilarating, galloping with the wind in
our hair, pretending to be Wild West cowboys, it was the quiet time afterward
when we were tack cleaning that I felt said most about Edward. He thought a
lot, only tending to speak when he had something to say rather than babbling about
something and nothing like some of the other kids in school.
He was smart
as a whip, and although I failed to understand his reasons, he was fiercely
loyal to me.
~
0 ~
The owners of
McKenna’s stables were happy with how well we looked after the horses we rode
and the tack we used, and when we turned thirteen they offered us paid work in
the holidays when they were short handed. It was a big deal for us as it meant
we had our own money to spend, money we earned ourselves. It was a bonus that
we got paid to do something we both loved anyway.
My parents
were proud of me. Edward’s seemed a little... disappointed. I overheard them
one evening after we got home, and shortly afterward there came a whistle – our
signal.
Edward was
sat waiting for me on the old oak stump at the bottom of the field. He looked
beaten. I sat down next to him.
“What’s up
with your folks? I could hear your mom through my window.”
His shoulders
were slumped and I put an arm around his shoulders in support.
“Mom doesn’t
want me working at McKenna’s anymore. She thinks my school work will suffer if
I waste time there.” He face twisted at the word ‘waste’.
I could feel
the repressed anger in his rigid arms; I simply couldn’t understand why they
weren’t proud of him, out in the world earning honest money. I asked my
question, worried about the answer.
“So aren’t
you coming with me anymore? It’s a lot of work for just one person to do.”
He sighed and
I thought quickly.
“Perhaps you
could do all your homework in study hall and then you’ll be free for weekends?
She can’t be mad at you for having a job, can she?”
He shook his
head.
“I don’t
know, Jas. She was okay when I just went to ride, but now I have a job she
doesn’t like it. She said I was wasting my summer doing work anyone could do
when I should be trying to better myself.”
So it’s okay for me, but not Edward?
I didn’t dare
say the words out loud because I knew that Edward didn’t think like that, but
it hit me that perhaps his mom thought I wasn’t good enough for him, that I had
led him away from her chosen path.
I set my jaw,
determined to fix this.
“I’ll ask my
mom, Edward. She’ll talk to her for you. Mom loves you and I’m sure she can
talk her round! It’ll all be okay – I promise!”
He looked at
me with hope in his eyes, and I wondered even then why he wasn’t good enough
for his mom just the way he was.
I went
straight home and sat down to talk to my mom and dad about it. They were
shocked when I explained that Edward wasn’t supposed to work because of his
studies. My mom’s opinion was that if we wanted to do some hard work in the
holidays and earn an honest day’s pay then she wasn’t going to tell us not to.
I went to bed that night hearing them talk quietly downstairs and hoped it
would help Edward in some way.
Surprisingly,
Edward’s mom had a change of heart before my mom could say anything. She gave
him the go ahead to go work with me, but only if he promised to study for a
couple of hours each day too. Edward was super smart and knew that he could
learn enough in one hour each day to convince his mom he had done much more,
and in the end we got to spend the summer together after all, working, riding
and swimming. We bought bikes with our money and were able to get to and from
the stables quicker, giving us more time for fun and to spend our money.
We didn’t
work every day and often we would take a lunch and go off on foot into the
fields and amuse ourselves for hours, speculating on how our lives would turn
out. We planned it all; we wanted to own horses of our own one day and maybe
breed them or look after famous racehorses for rich clients. We had wild dreams,
our whole lives ahead of us to make them happen.
Edward spoke
of his mother often, and I learned that she wanted him to make something of
himself, to escape North Dakota for a successful, high profile career. I
guessed she had ideas of him becoming a doctor like his dad or someone
important in the city. Edward let it all wash over him, studying hard and doing
well in school, but deep down believing that his life was his own to live, his
choices his own to make.
That was why
we never really saw it coming.
~
0 ~
The year we
turned 18, Edward was sent away to his grandparents’ in Florida for the summer
to intern at his uncle’s advertising company.
I didn’t know
how I felt about it. I mean, I knew I would miss my friend but there was more
to it than that. It was hard to imagine him not being around when we had spent
almost every day together for the last ten years. My best friend was leaving me
and I was feeling pretty darn low. I wondered if he would even come back if his
uncle offered him a job.
The day
before he was due to leave, we went out into the fields to spend some time
together.
Walking along the well used pathways through the grasses, we were
uncharacteristically quiet, unanswered questions hanging in the dry, dusty air.
The weeks ahead stretched before us, devoid of fun and laughter. I knew it was
only a few weeks but the thought of summer without him was painful. Edward was
reticent, not wanting to talk about it; I guessed he was happy to be going, to
perhaps make a career for himself in his hometown. Trying to talk about him
leaving made it real and we were struggling to express the difficulty in the
simple act of saying goodbye.
Under a
bruised sky, out of sight of everyone with only the birds and the insects to
bear witness, I stopped walking and pulled him into a tight hug. It was
spontaneous and impulsive and I held onto him like a drowning man who may never
see land again. He didn’t resist, and I closed my eyes and just allowed myself
to feel. When arms found their way around me I held on tight, struggling to
hold back shameful tears. I could feel the loneliness encroaching and knew I
had to endure it along with the very real possibility that he might not return
at all.
“It’s only three
months.”
It might as
well have been three years.
His voice
sounded choked. Neither of us broke the embrace.
“I wish you
weren’t going.”
“And I wish you
were coming with me.”
He pulled
back to look into my face.
“I’m coming
back, Jasper. I promise.”
Gazing into
his eyes, I reached for his hand. He took it, looked down at it before lacing
our fingers together, and so we made a slow retreat home, not speaking, neither
willing to break the spell. When we reached his house he released my hand somewhat
reluctantly before meeting my eyes.
“I’ll be back
September 1st. Meet me in the meadow at sunset? Promise me, Jas?”
I gave him
the best smile I could muster and swallowed hard.
“I’ll be
there. I promise.”
~
0 ~
When morning
dawned, sadness weighed heavy on my heart. He would be leaving while I was at
work tending to the horses; last night had been our own private farewell. We
had agreed to email whenever we weren’t working, but our schedules were very likely
to conflict, not to mention our less than reliable internet connection at home.
If it didn’t work, he said he would write.
When that
first postcard arrived, Esme brought it round to show my mom. She was beaming
with delight at his words and I hoped for a message of my own soon.
A postcard
addressed to me arrived the next day:
‘Jasper – it’s hot and noisy here in
Florida and you have no idea how much I miss the creek. The people are friendly
enough but there are so many and I don’t remember their names. I’m working hard
and keeping busy. Give Zeus a carrot for me and tell him I miss exercising him
every day. Don’t work too hard – remember to relax sometimes, okay?
Edward’
My mom read
it and handed it back to me with a shrug.
“Sounds like
he’s settling in well, baby.”
That night I cycled
home, exhausted and aching from hard yard work and thinking of my bed.
Before
turning in, I tried my connection and found it to be working with a reasonable
signal. Logging on to my email, I saw a message sent two hours previously.
‘Jas,
I don’t know if you got my card, but I
wanted to make sure you understood that I can’t write what I want to on
something our moms will read. It’s so hot and crowded here and I miss swimming
in the creek with you. There are just so many people here and no one I can call
a friend. I might be from the city but I swear I’m a country boy now! The girls
at the office are so obvious and I’m finding myself keeping more and more of a
distance from them. They think I’m a challenge and I’m getting tired of it. As
it is, I’m working long hours for little pay as I’m only a summer intern; being
family counts for nothing when you start at the bottom. I pretty much just work
and sleep as I’m exhausted when I leave. I swear I’d give anything to go riding
with you and stretch Zeus’ legs out on the exercise track. Just thinking of the
fresh air and the smell of the wheat fields makes me homesick. Already I worry
that I don’t fit in here and I know my parents wouldn’t understand how I feel.
I can’t disappoint them. I have to do well for their sakes. I’ll just have to
come home and spend time with you in my dreams.
Goodnight, Jas. I miss you.
Edward.’
Looking at
the clock, I guessed he was probably in bed and so I resolved to answer the
next day if the signal held out. I fell asleep, dreaming of when we were young
and life made sense.
I wrote him
often, telling him about work and the horses, trying to stay upbeat and
encouraging. I told him about getting my licence and my new work because of it.
My job prospects were improving, and I was able to save some money for the
future. My mom took some for my keep, but not all of it, and I was squirreling
away every cent I didn’t need. I hoped this would make him happy, that maybe
one day our plans might actually become reality. The last thing I wanted to do
was to tell how long every day seemed without him.
I threw
myself into work, keeping busy; idle hands meant my mind was free to brood.
Every day I looked over at his house when I set off to the stables, hoping to
see him waiting for me; every day I was disappointed. When harvest season
approached, I found myself some seasonal labouring work, helping with straw
baling and carting. I had passed my licence and could drive a tractor, making
me useful to the farmers. It was long hours for low wages but even then, when I
fell into bed at night exhausted to the bone, I checked for new emails. My
heart sank on the days when my inbox was empty.
As time wore
on his replies became less frequent. Each message betrayed his weariness, each
starting to sound more businesslike and perfunctory. They were shorter now and
focused on his new world and his responsibilities. He sounded like he was
learning a great deal; of course, with his sharp mind that was no surprise. He
still sent postcards with short, cheery messages and I put them up on the
fridge, but it wasn’t until Esme came around for coffee a couple of months after
he left that I realised the extent of his parents’ plan.
I was on the
stairs when I heard them and she couldn’t have known I was there. Esme’s
excited voice carried as she regaled my mom with details of Edward’s progress. It
transpired that he was a well respected intern, hard working and popular with
everyone there.
No surprise.
Esme was
overjoyed that her plan was working, and I frowned. My mom must have thought
the same way as me as she asked Esme what she meant by that. Esme’s bright, excited voice filled my ears as
she spoke of her hopes that Edward find a nice girl there and settle down with
a good, secure job in the company and his own home. The news from his
grandparents made it clear that he could be successful there and was welcome to
stay as long as he liked – they loved having him around.
I went cold,
my heart hurting as I sat there, fist pressed to my mouth as I took this in.
They wanted him married? And living in
Florida full time?
Of course
they did - it was every parent’s dream.
I sat down on
the stair, numb, trying to comprehend the fact that next time I saw Edward it
could be Christmas...
... and he
might not come back alone.
~
0 ~
I worked hard
all summer, taking work wherever I could find it. I didn’t know for sure, but
Esme’s frequent progress reports on Edward must have made my mom wonder what went
wrong with me. I had passed all my exams,
but there was no denying I was better suited to outdoor work like my dad, and
would never be a high flying boardroom executive.
The
difference between Edward’s parents and mine was that my parents were fine with
this, accepting my choice without argument. I made my peace with this by
bringing home as much money as I could to help with the house.
Deep down, I
couldn’t be mad at his folks for wanting the best for him.
I just wished
that the ‘best’ included me.
~ 0 ~
It was humid,
the air drier than the Sahara when I made my way to meet Edward. Even without
the big old moon shining down I could’ve made my way there by memory alone. The
wheat harvest had begun and the air was full of a fragrance unrivalled by any
from a perfume house; the smell of cut wheat permeated the air where fields had
been opened up ready for harvesting the following day. It was something both
Edward and I loved to watch, and despite the flying dust and straw, we would lie
in the grass for hours, watching those huge combine harvesters devour the golden
grain.
My heart was
thudding as I approached our place, terrified that he wouldn’t be there, that
he would have chosen to stay in the city and forget all about this dusty, quiet
place where nothing ever happened and life was slow and predictable.
What was there to entice him back here?
I had dreams,
dreams that were completely focused on spending my life working alongside Edward.
The realisation that his future might not include me hit hard and I shivered,
my steps slowing as I suddenly feared what I would find when I arrived. I was faced
with the very real possibility of his absence - an unspoken statement of painful
rejection.
As I forced
my legs to walk, I could feel a storm approaching, the air thick and heavy.
Reaching the meadow,
I saw the long grasses rippling like the ocean, fanned by the breeze of the
oncoming storm. I set off towards the creek and then stopped.
Standing on
the bank, dripping wet, was Edward.
I swallowed.
He stood by the water, his clothes piled in the grass at his feet. Gazing at
him in the moonlight I felt like a voyeur, looking at my friend with new eyes;
eyes that could never again be closed to the magnificence before me.
Edward, you’re beautiful.
The thought
shocked me with its clarity even as my mind clouded.
I love him.
And not as a friend
or a brother, I could see that now.
As I
approached, he turned and saw me, his face alight with happiness in the silvery
glow. Something was different and it took me a moment to realise what it was.
He’s naked.
We hadn’t
swum naked since we were 12 years old when embarrassment at our changing bodies
had made Edward want to cover up. After that I too had worn shorts when we came
out here to swim, but looking at him now I felt no shame, no embarrassment,
only a sense of rightness. I walked towards him, pulling off my shirt and
dropping it heedlessly, unbuttoning my shorts I let them fall, kicking them
free of my feet. My eyes never left his; my underwear were discarded without a
second thought, completely comfortable in my nakedness. I saw his smile as I
reached him and my arms pulled him into a fierce hug, almost drowning in my own
feelings at being near him again. Without thinking, without speaking, I pressed
my lips to his, overjoyed when I felt him respond.
All those
times I had masturbated as an adolescent, it was only because it felt good with
no real fantasy to drive the act itself. However, for the last few months more
and more it had been Edward’s smile I saw, his voice I heard. I hadn’t wanted
to admit it to myself, but he was the vision that propelled me forward, that
both inspired and fuelled my pleasure, making me bite my lip to not cry out his
name when I reached my climax.
Our lips
moved, unpractised and clumsy, yet finding a joyous rhythm when he parted his
lips to mesh with mine. The tentative touch of his tongue sent strong ripples
of pleasure arcing across my flesh and unconsciously I pressed against him, his
skin cool from the water.
I poured a
summer’s worth of longing into that kiss. The whole time he had been away I had
been afraid that we weren’t on the same page, that my burgeoning feelings would
repel him and put an irreparable rift in our friendship. I hadn’t dared hope
during those long, lonely months that he felt the same way. Wrapped in his arms,
I just knew this was how it was meant to be. My hands were in his hair, holding
him close; I tried to remember to breathe as his lips moved with mine, his own
breaths noisy and urgent as we stayed locked together.
I gave him my
all; if this was all we could ever have, this one moment in time, then I had to
show him how I felt. He broke the kiss, gasping, his eyes finding mine. I had been hard from the moment his tongue
touched mine, and now, holding him close to me, I felt his erection against my
stomach. When we were children we had compared our bodies, curious as to how
and why we were different. Now, looking down, I saw no difference at all.
Without thinking, I took both of our engorged erections in hand and stroked
them from base to tip, using a firm stroke that I favoured. Edward hissed when
our swollen cock heads kissed, his hand joining mine as we pleasured ourselves
in unison, falling into desperate kissing as need grew ever stronger, breaking
away to gasp for air before resuming, two magnets drawn inexorably together.
My legs were
shaking, my orgasm threatening. Tearing my lips from his, only now able to
breathe in harsh pants, I rested my forehead against Edward’s, seeing pinched
and desperate eyes gazing back at me. With a harsh cry, I felt my body
contract, jets of come spraying over my stomach and trickling down our joined
hands. My knees buckling, the only thing that kept me upright was my intent to
make Edward feel good too. Seeing me come undone was evidently what it took as
he pulsed in my hand before his come splattered both of us. Collapsing to our
knees in the long grass, we rolled onto our backs and lay there, catching our
breath.
My pleasure
fogged mind tried to come to terms with what had just happened, how I had gone
from fear of rejection to sexual fulfilment. When Edward spoke, his words
surprised me.
“I wanted
that to last longer. I got so excited just thinking about it that when you actually
touched me it was...” He laughed in obvious embarrassment. “Let’s just say that
I want us to do that again.”
I gazed at
him, bathed in the glow of the moon, bright as day, and wondered how it had
taken us so long to get here when it was clearly destined to be this way.
He propped
his head up on his hand.
“I made a
decision, Jas.”
I looked at
him with no small degree of anxiety.
“I can’t be
what my parents want me to be. I can’t live a lie.”
His thumb
stroked my cheek as I looked at him, almost too scared to breathe as he forced
out the words he needed to say.
“I really
missed you. The longer I was away the worse it got until I didn’t know what to
say in my emails anymore. I was afraid the truth would have sent you running
for the hills; pages and pages of ‘I miss you’.” He half laughed.”I threw
myself into the job to pass the time. So what if I’m good at it? I was also
good with organisation and figures but I don’t want a career in advertising. I
want us to work towards our future, our plans. My folks don’t know it yet, but
I told my grandparents about you and they want to help us. Turns out I have a small
trust fund that matured when I turned 18. It’s not a fortune or anything but it
would help us get started. We can start small, providing boarding stables for
two or three horses, and maybe offer riding lessons too when we get a couple of
horses of our own. I’ve worked it all out. This is it, Jas – our dream.
Do you
want to give it a go, for real?”
He sounded so
hopeful; when I didn’t speak, overwhelmed, he carried on.
“It’ll mean a
lot of hard work and long hours, but ...”
I kissed him then,
capturing his sweet mouth and feeling him moan deep in his throat. Pulling him
down on top of me, we surrendered to helpless desire. Finally, I broke the kiss
and looked deep into eyes glazed with lust.
“It’d be
ours,” I finished. He nodded, his smile lighting my world brighter than that
big old moon above us, and I knew that everything would work out because
together we were unstoppable.
We pulled on
our clothes, stopping once or twice to kiss some more, and made our way home,
hand in hand, as the first raindrops fell.
The thunder
rumbling overhead would perhaps prove to be an omen of the difficulties that
lay ahead for us, but instead we chose to heed the whisper of the wind, softly
sighing through the waves of grain as it spoke its message to us:
Yes.
Yes
.
Yesssss.
~
0 ~