Monday, 28 March 2011


THE LOVELY BLOG AWARD!

To accept this award one must follow the rules......

1. Thank the person that gave it to you and link it back to their blog.

2. Post 7 random facts about yourself.

3. Pass the award on to 15 other blogs.

Wow! Big thanks to Tongue-Twied for thinking of The Violet Hour!

Here are my random facts about me ...

7. I am terrified of all ships and large boats (there isnt even an official name for this phobia, I'm a true original)

6. I am allergic to wool and so can only snuggle up to Kellan under man-made fibres...

5. I am a bellydancer

4. I read tarot

3. M/M Slash fiction is by far my favourite kind

2. I have exceedingly low self esteem, despite having wonderful, supportive friends

1. Most of my story ideas come to me when I drive at night.

OK! Well enough about my weirdness. Here are my favourite blogs - step up and collect your award!

http://www.tonguetwied.blogspot.com/
http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/
http://www.drcullensloveshack.blogspot.com/
http://www.rathgasm101.blogspot.com/
http://www.pattinsonladies.blogspot.com/
http://www.nana-db.blogspot.com/
http://www.clpsuperstar-milliondollarbaby.blogspot.com/
http://www.jaspersnaughtygirls.blogspot.com/
http://www.destinationforks69.blogspot.com/
http://www.dreamin-of-jasper.blogspot.com/
http://www.fanfiction-challenges.blogspot.com/
http://www.ladyalifanfiction.blogspot.com/
http://www.twilightnewsweb.blogspot.com/
http://www.tehlemonadestand.blogspot.com/
http://www.theficpusher.blogspot.com/

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Learning to Fly


Summary: Should a fantasy ever become a reality? When an obsession with a customer consumes his every waking thought it looks like Edward might have to redefine his own boundaries.

A/N: This was an entry in the CarlWard contest for Carlisle/Edward slash fiction. Please do not read if you are offended by this type of material.

AH/Slash/Rated M for lemons

All characters owned and created by Stephenie Meyer.
~xxXxx~



Edward’s POV

Beautifully polished shoes, long lean legs splayed casually, one foot rested on the stool strut, graceful hands and fingers that gripped the glass that he casually raised to his lips.

I watched his Adams apple bob as the liquid flowed down his throat before he placed the glass down, absentmindedly touching his mouth with his thumb.
Every week, the same routine. I wondered if he himself was even aware of the fact.

If I could, I always slipped out from behind the bar to clear some glasses so that I could check him out.

So elegant.

So refined.

So fucking hot I almost couldn’t stand it.

And, just like that, I was hard as iron.
~xxXxx~
As I waited for Lauren to finish up in the ladies room, I thought about the hot, blond guy from the bar.

I’m not into men, so why am I so ... obsessed... with him?


Obsessed.


I closed my eyes, my head slumping forward. Admitting it was the first step to acceptance. I was obsessed with this stranger; every Wednesday night I made sure I was the one standing at the bar to fix him his drink. The only words we had ever exchanged were his drink order and his habitual response for me to ‘keep the change’. And yet, after every Wednesday night shift I went home to jerk off in bed to mental images of him leaning over me, his mouth engulfing my cock as his eyes never left mine.


Every Thursday was now laundry day.


Lauren stalked out of the ladies room toward me, smirking. I wondered where she wanted to go tonight – that girl had expensive tastes for a bartender’s wages.


We ended up at a club where at least I could feel anonymous as I watched 
Lauren writhe to the beat, attracting admiring glances from all the men around her. My eyes glided over her firm, young body appreciatively. She had only just turned 18 and, despite her being as tempting as sun ripened fruit, was still a virgin. I was being patient, but at 20 I was pretty experienced - being a hot bartender apparently got the job done with the ladies.


Dropping her off at her mom’s later that night, I kissed her goodbye, my hand gliding over her tight ass.


“Soon, baby, soon,” she whispered, pressing her firm little apple breasts into my chest. It was all I could do not to take her up against the door frame. 


Pulling away from her, I breathed deeply to regain some control and arranged to see her after work the following week. She had finals coming up and her mom didn’t permit me to see her more than one a week as I was a ‘distraction’. 


Yeah right.


The next few days were uneventful; then Wednesday rolled around again. I watched the clock, knowing his routine, my hand shaking ever so slightly as I put out the clean glasses under the bar.


He’s late.


I wiped down the bar top for the third time in as many minutes.


Has he gone to another bar?


Panicky feelings stirred under the surface at the thought of not seeing him again.


I don’t know where he works. Hell, I don’t even know his first name.


I couldn’t concentrate on the job, uncharacteristically taciturn to the clientele. A few looked at me askance at my sharpness. Riley leaned over to me while I was at the register.


“Dude – trouble with Lauren? You’re really off tonight.” I smiled apologetically, and he slapped my shoulder before gathering up the orders for 
the outside patrons.


Closing time approached, and I sent Riley home as we were all done. It had been a quiet night and I had bottled up ready for the next day. Turning off the lights, I locked the doors and headed for my car.


A soft voice called out behind me from the seating area.


“Hey.”


I stilled, but my heart was racing like a jackhammer as I slowly turned.


~xxXxx~
Carlisle’s POV


I hoped I was right about this.


The bartender had occupied my waking thoughts for weeks now, ever since I had dropped in for an after-hours drink to wash away the day. After he had served me I had been unable to make my usual conversation, it was all I could do to mutter ‘keep the change’ when I passed him the note.


Something about him appeared to be attuned to me. I watched him move around the bar, gracefully, smiling and nodding at patrons, but more than once I caught him gazing at me out of the corner of my eye.


He looked at me with an intense hunger.


And I knew then that he felt the same as I did.


Waiting for him to leave the building, my hands shook with nerves. I rarely approached men unless I was very sure that my advances were invited and that they would be discreet. But this time... this time I had to know him, to feel him in every way. It was a divine force that kept driving me back to this bar. I had had to stay outside tonight to work up the courage to approach him, to risk possible rejection and yet... I did not truly believe he would reject my advances. I sensed longing and desire in every lingering look, and in the way his hand shook ever so slightly when he took my money.


Calling out to him in the darkness, I saw him halt, his posture becoming instantly rigid and yet he did not make any effort to move away. He turned slowly, his face betraying his heightened emotions, and I heard his sharp intake of breath when he saw me. I walked slowly over to him, maintaining eye contact in the shadows. As I drew close, I could see his chest rising and falling rapidly.


Was he going to bolt?


“My name’s Carlisle,” I said softly. “What’s yours?”


When he spoke, his voice was husky, and little above a whisper.


“Edward. My name is Edward.”


“Pleased to meet you, Edward. I thought that I should introduce myself after all this time. It’s very rude of me.” I kept my voice low, as if talking to a frightened fawn.


He looked at my outstretched hand before placing his own in mine. It was less a handshake, more an unspoken acceptance.


“I’m sorry I didn’t come inside tonight, I was a little nervous about seeing you again. You’ve been on my mind for quite some time.” I smiled before dropping my head a little, fearful of his reaction.


“I was, uh...” he swallowed with an audible click, “worried, actually. I thought perhaps you had gone to another bar; that we had not given you satisfactory service here.” He looked down at our still joined hands, making no move to separate them.


“No, the service here has always been exemplary. But after my first visit, I didn’t come back here for the service.” I looked into his eyes and saw both heat and desire in their depths.


“I apologise if I’m being too forward, but would you like to come back to my house for a drink? I’ll understand if you say no ...”


“Yes,” he said, cutting me off. “I’d like that very much.”


I nodded to the parking lot. “My car is over there, unless you’d prefer to get a cab? I can give you the address...”


With a nervous smile, he replied, “No, your car is fine.”


Letting go of his hand I reached for the other, leading him to my Mercedes, a beautiful car that came as a perk of my job as a surgeon. His long fingers tightened slightly around mine, and I felt my stomach constrict with nervous anticipation. The short drive to my townhouse was silent, but the tension was palpable in the confined space, the air heavy with promise. I parked the car in the garage and walked around to the front door, inviting him to follow me in.


Placing my keys on the small hall table, I walked through to the kitchen to 
fetch ice and to try and calm the gnawing ache growing steadily worse in his close proximity. I turned to take the drinks to him and was surprised to find him standing inside the doorway, watching me. In the direct light his hair was a stunning mix of bronze tones, and I could now see that his eyes were the deepest green. I breathed deeply - he was far more intoxicating than the alcohol I held. I placed the glasses on the counter, suddenly superfluous. As I approached him slowly, I saw his breathing hitch and his pupils darken. Unable to resist him a moment longer, I reached out and stroked the length of his sharp jaw, before I looked deep into his eyes, my hand resting on his neck.


One last chance to flee.


“Edward – are you sure?”


“Yes,” he replied huskily, and captured my mouth in a kiss that sent my stomach into tight knots of desire. Our tongues reached out for each other as my hands slid into his hair, holding his mouth firmly to mine as I explored him fully. When the kiss broke we were panting, and, with a silent invitation, I led him upstairs to my bedroom.


As the door closed I pressed him against it, kissing him again with fervour, my restraint crumbling at the taste of him on my lips. My hands were on his hips, grinding my now painful erection into his, feeling him swell further at my touch. His hands found my neck and pulled me into the kiss, becoming harder, more insistent, as our teeth clashed and lips were bitten in our hunger for each other.I pulled away just enough to nibble at his neck, biting him lightly and teasingly over his pulse point, loving his answering gasps and moans as my hot breath spilled over his throat. His hands found my shirt front and started fumbling with my buttons. I tried to help him, but in my desperation I ripped the shirt open, sending buttons popping across the room. His work uniform shirt came off swiftly, landing the far side of the room.


I took a moment to appreciate the beauty of his naked torso; the tight, dark nipples, the sculpted abs from lifting heavy crates and... Oh my... a beautifully marked trail leading down to his promised land. My fingers trailed down his stomach to gauge his reaction; his response was a pained whimper of purest need. Mashing my lips back to his, I pulled him away from the door and pushed him over to the bed, loving how he scrambled back on to it, looking up at me with eyes now full of undisguised lust.


Hovering over him, my lips found his nipple and sucked leisurely, hearing his rasping breaths as his chest rose and fell rapidly, cries escaping as my teeth grazed the peak. Thumbing the other nipple, I kissed my way down his trembling body, pausing to tongue his belly button before arriving at the flat planes of his hips forming a perfect V above the waistband of his jeans. With exaggerated slowness I unfastened his belt, popping open the top button, my eyes fixed on his. His hips lifted off the bed encouraging me further and I gladly obliged; the rest of the buttons opening easily as I dragged the material free of his feet along with his socks. My eyes widened at what was revealed.


Leaning over him, my lips a hair’s breadth away from his, I asked him the one question I had fantasised over for weeks,


“What do you want, Edward? This?” My hand splayed out over his swollen length, my fingertips just touching his balls. “Or something else – like this?” 


And I leaned in to kiss him hard, sucking his tongue into my mouth.


His answering groan sent vibrations down my spine and I hardened still more, my tumescence painful, still clothed as I was. I slid off the bed, unfastening my own pants and finding a modicum of relief from the pressure. He watched me, a complex mix of curiosity, fear and lust on his face. I knew that very shortly lust would win out.


Palming the lube from the bedside table, I pulled off his underwear, sucking in a breath at the sight of him naked and taking the briefest of pauses to allow my brain to catch up with my libido. His cock was beautiful, long and swollen, the tip wet and inviting.


That’s just from my kisses. Wait til you see what my tongue can do.


Looking up the length of his body, I fixed onto those hypnotic green eyes to focus him on what I was about to do. I dragged my tongue from root to tip, sucking just the very head of him into my mouth, tasting him, dipping my tongue into that wet little slit and lapping up the bounty that flowed so freely for me. Edward was writhing beneath me groaning for more and, taking pity on him I sank down, engulfing him in my mouth and throat. He cried out, hands fisting my hair as I swallowed around him, the sensation apparently new to him as his eyes bulged wide.


“Carlisle!”


My cock twitched at the sound of my name falling from his lips for the first time.


You’ll be screaming it again before tonight is through, Edward, I promise 
you.


Letting his length pop from my mouth, I licked downward, nuzzling and sucking his balls before allowing my tongue to flicker for a brief second over his puckered opening. He jerked in surprise, panting slightly as I touched there again, a little more thoroughly this time as the tight muscle yielded just enough for the point of my tongue to penetrate. I held his thighs firmly as he jerked more strongly from the bed, his breathing coming in noisy gasps at the unfamiliar sensations I was eliciting from his tortured body. Opening the lube, I dripped some onto my fingers, covering them thoroughly. I tongued his opening once more before applying slight pressure with the knuckle of my first finger to see what he would do. He sucked in air, teeth gritted and tensing slightly before forcing himself to relax against my hand. As soon as I felt him relax I gently pressed a finger against him, feeling his outer softness give a little as I slid it into his tightness. As I slowly circled the finger inside him, his whole body shuddered and shook as the unfamiliar sensations washed over him for the very first time. Carefully gauging his reaction I slipped in a second finger, moving both in time with his gasps. Reaching up I found his cock once more and greedily sucked it in, hollowing my cheeks with the pressure.


Edward’s body was thrashing around my hand. As my finger brushed his prostate, colour flooded his neck and face and he came abruptly, screaming my name.


CARLISLE! FUCK!”


I swallowed his gift, riding the wave with him before releasing him with a soft kiss to the tip. Edward’s breathing was raw and jerky as he came back down, and I lay next to him, gazing into his eyes.


“I never asked, Edward. Was that your first time ... with another man?”


His eyes dropped, before rising to meet mine again under his heavy lashes.


“Yes.” His voice was rough. “But I’ve had... thoughts about it ever since...” He paused and swallowed.


“What?” I prompted gently.


“Ever since I first saw you in the bar. Seeing you there made me... want something I’d never even considered before.”


“And now?” I felt concern that he might be regretting this little adventure, that 
I might have overstepped a boundary.


His glittering eyes met mine as his hand brushed my straining cock through the fabric.


“And now I want more, Carlisle - much more.”


With a groan of willing surrender I fell back, pulling him to me as I felt him assume control. His kiss was searing as he plundered my mouth, sucking my lip into his mouth and running his tongue along it. As his lips found my throat my head fell back, loving the feel of his hot kisses along my jaw as they moved upward. When he reached my ear, I felt his tongue on the outer shell before it slipped inside, my whole body shuddering at the intensity of sensation. When he plunged in deeper, crudely tongue fucking my ear, I cried out his name raggedly as my chest heaved with the strain. His breath on my damp skin was driving me to the point of insanity.


And then he whispered something that almost tipped me over.


“I think of you every night, Carlisle. I have to jerk off after I see you because I can’t sleep when the image of you is so fresh in my mind. You’re the fantasy I never knew I had.”


“Edward...” I begged.


“Yes, Carlisle...?”


“Touch me, Edward, please touch me...”


His hand found my cock and slid under the wet fabric, revealing me to his gaze. I heard his inward hiss.


His touch was understandably tentative but his confidence grew rapidly. After disposing of my underwear he leaned across me, nuzzling into my balls as his hand gripped me firmly. I was afraid that he would not want to taste me, but I was happy to be proved wrong. His tongue traced the outline of my head, fluttering under the ridge and sending me into paroxysms of pleasure while I tried to hold off from coming all over his beautiful face. When his mouth slid down the length of my flesh, it was all I could do not to fuck his face hard, so close was I. What he lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm, and I only managed to hold out for a minute or so.


“I’m coming, Edward, my god, yes... yes... ” I expected him to pull back, but instead he met my eyes and sank down. My spasms overtook me and, with a harsh cry, I flooded his willing mouth with hot come.


~xxXxx~
Edward’s POV


I woke suddenly in the night and laid there for a moment until I remembered where I was, reliving the events of the previous hours. Turning over, I saw wide awake hazel eyes watching me.


“Can’t sleep?” His voice was low and soothing.


“Forgot where I was.” I gave an embarrassed half-laugh. In truth, I thought I had dreamed it all.


Leaning into me, he whispered into my ear:


“I’d ask if you made a habit out of waking up in strange men’s beds but I know that not to be true.”


I groaned, his hot breath in my ear sending a rush of heat down my body. In an effort to distract myself, I turned to him.


“Did you sleep?”


“A little. Occupational hazard, I’m afraid, I’m used to surviving on very little sleep, and having you here is very ... distracting. I was afraid I would have to wake you if I stayed in this bed with you too long.”


I leaned in to kiss him, tiredness rushing back in to cradle me.


“Sleep with me, Carlisle. Please?”


He nodded his assent, lying back and pulling the covers over us. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt his warm body spoon me and a soft kiss on my shoulder.


~xxXxx~


When I next woke it was morning, and Carlisle’s arm was across me in a loose embrace as he slept. I was inexplicably happy in that moment.


In one night my world had been turned upside down and yet for the first time everything was clear. I’d heard that when you met ‘the one’ you just knew. I had just assumed mine would be a woman. I hoped Carlisle felt the same. A shiver ran through me as I considered the possibility that this might be nothing more than a simple one night stand for him. But looking at him sleeping now, I couldn’t allow myself to believe that.


Open your eyes, Carlisle. Open your eyes and make love to me again.


As if he heard my thoughts, his eyes fluttered open and his head turned to see me smiling down at him.


“Morning, sleepyhead.” I grinned.


“Morning.” Stretching and yawning, he straightened up. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked at me like a sleepy kitten before leaning in for a kiss, which I gladly returned.


“Coffee.” Swinging his legs out of bed, he grabbed a robe and padded out to the kitchen. I heard the click of the coffeepot. Clearly he was not a morning person. Sliding out of the warm bed, I grabbed my underwear and shirt before heading to the kitchen in pursuit.


“Uh... Carlisle? Is it ok if I use your shower?”


“Sure. It’s en suite. Use the pre programmed setting. Towels are in the airing cupboard.”


“Ok ... thanks.” I watched him pour his coffee and take a sip before turning and heading back to the bedroom. Opening the door to the en suite, I stood and gaped at the enormous walk-in shower. Checking out the settings I turned it on, and almost immediately steam filled the room.


This was going to be good.


Slipping out of my clothes, I fetched some towels ready for afterward, and then stepped under the powerful jets. I stood there for a few moments, feeling the water pound blissfully on my shoulders.


I gasped in surprise when I felt hands on my hips and teeth nibbling at my neck. 


An expectant smile spread across my face. Clearly my lover was now caffeinated and ready to play. Turning to face him, I was pressed back against the cold tile as he kissed me forcefully, his hands roaming my wet body before finding my hair and pulling me in as close to him as possible. We were wrestling for dominance as passionate heat rose around us. But as he palmed my morning wood, I knew he would win this particular battle as all fight within me ceased at the feel of his hand on my hard flesh.


“Please, Carlisle...” I didn’t even know what I was begging for – I just knew I didn’t want him to stop.


“What do you want, Edward?” he asked, echoing his words from the previous night. “Do you want my hand? My mouth...” Leaning in close he whispered directly into my ear, “or my ass?” I groaned as the full implication of what he was saying sank in.


I could fuck him. I could. But what if I do it wrong, what if I hurt him?


He pulled back a little, sensing my hesitation. Looking deep in my eyes he leaned in once more, his nose lightly brushing mine. When he spoke, his voice was a dark, silky whisper.


“Do you want me to fuck you, Edward? Is that what you want?” My body shook at the suggestion, but I couldn’t deny that the very thought of submitting to him turned me on to the point of madness. I nodded mutely.


“OK, we can do that. But we need to get you ready first.” He reached for a bottle of lube from the shampoo rail and smiled at my expression. “It’s waterproof. Comes in handy in the mornings, shall we say. And when I get home from a certain bar...” He raised an eyebrow; the inflection was not lost on me, and my knees sagged at the thought of him jerking off thinking of me.


“Let’s take this slow. You set the pace. Now, turn around and place your hands on the seat. That’s it - just like that. Now try to relax. I won’t hurt you.”


I heard the click of the bottle being opened before his fingers found my crease and gently massaged down it with the lube. I felt more trickle onto my skin as his fingers lightly traced my opening, spreading the lube all around, making me squirm. His fingertip entered me once again, and I forced my body to relax and accept it, knowing now how good it could feel. Once his finger pressed all the way in he paused before adding another. I breathed out hard. Rubbing my back in support, he trailed kisses down my spine as his fingers opened out to slowly stretch me, giving me time to adjust to the feeling. The kisses and touches were having an effect, and I sighed as the sensation started to build. Slowly, he removed his fingers and I heard the unmistakable crackling of a condom packet being opened. I felt fear and panic bubble up inside me, and sensing this, 


Carlisle spoke quietly and reassuringly.


“We don’t have to do this, Edward. Just say the word and we stop.” I shook my head resolutely. I wanted to do this, to take Carlisle into me and be one with him.


I took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”


I heard the lube bottle again and felt Carlisle’s comforting hand on my back once more before the head of his cock pressed into me.


Oh GOD. He’s too big. I can’t.


He kept up the gentle pressure until I relaxed and suddenly he was past the muscle, sitting partway inside me. I whimpered out loud, feeling sparks shoot through my whole body. He didn’t move, just kept rubbing my back until my body adjusted and he was able to slide in the rest of the way. I heard his gasps behind me as he resisted the urge to move.


“You feel incredible, Edward,” he whispered, “now relax as much as you can and let me show you how good this can feel."


I tried to do as he suggested, but I was still fearful of the pain if he started to move. He withdrew, and I was sure that I was a disappointment to him. But, with a kiss, he turned me around and indicated that I should sit on the seat. 


Leaving me for a moment, he returned with a folded towel which he placed on the floor. I looked at him in confusion. Kneeling down on the makeshift cushion, he pulled my hips to the edge of the seat, spreading my thighs wide. The look in his eyes made me shake. This time, as he entered me, his eyes were locked onto mine, watching every flicker of emotion as it crossed my face. I cried out when, fully sheathed within me, he palmed my aching cock. As he started to move, so carefully, his hand kept up the rhythm on my flesh and he found a tempo that suited us both. Pressing deeply into me, his cock head rubbed my sweet spot like his fingers had the night before, and I felt my body start to unravel as the pressure suddenly started to build.


My god, the feel of him. It’s like nothing else. So full...


His eyes were dark pools of heat, and I couldn’t look away. It was an intense connection, watching his face as he fucked me under the hot shower, steam swirling around us. My cock was throbbing and seeping in his hand, and I knew orgasm was merely seconds away.


“Edward... Edward... come with me...” His hand worked my cock, but it was his moans of pleasure that tipped me over the edge, shooting streams of come all over my belly before the cascading water washed me clean.


I felt him stiffen and pause before collapsing forward onto me, his breathing laboured and heavy.


When he withdrew from me I slid to the floor with him, drawing him into a heartfelt kiss of gratitude. He had known how to make it work for me, how to beat the fear I had felt. Taking me in his arms, he murmured soft words and endearments as he made sure I was OK. Encouraging me to stand, he led me to the main power shower jets and washed me thoroughly and tenderly, even shampooing my hair.


Unfortunately, reality intruded on our idyll as we both had jobs that required our attention. Once dressed, I drank my coffee and watched Carlisle get suited and booted for the office.


Looking at him now, he was once again that elegant, refined customer that I gazed longingly at every Wednesday night.


But now everything was different. And I had a girlfriend to let down gently. I felt like shit about cheating on Lauren, but I couldn’t deny that Carlisle had been in my mind first; I had just never thought anything could happen between us.


Life really is full of surprises.


Carlisle pulled into the parking lot at the bar, empty of patrons at this early hour. Turning to me he looked nervous, which surprised me.


“Edward, my life is busy and crazy at times, but I’d really like to see you again. Are you free this weekend? I thought we could go out, or I can cook. I usually see my daughter at the weekends but she’s studying for finals right now and doesn’t want the distraction of seeing her old man.”


“I’d really like that. Let me know when you finish and I can be ready here.” He handed me his phone and I keyed in my number.


I handed it back and, checking around to see if we really were alone, I leaned in and kissed him one last time to last me until Friday night. I pulled away as his phone bleeped and a message appeared on the screen. Carlisle laughed.


“Apparently her mother won’t let her see her boyfriend while she’s studying and she actually wishes she was coming to stay with me this weekend! That’s a turn up for the books! Just give me a second to sort this out.”


He hit speed dial and the next words were like ice water down my neck.


“Hey Lauren, sweetie, its Daddy...”


           ~xxXxx~

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Stormy Skies - A Windy Afternoon OUTTAKE

Stormy Skies – Alice’s story

(Windy Afternoon outtake)

A/N: I always had Alice’s backstory in my mind from the start, but I didn’t feel that the details were necessary at the time. But people have asked me about it, so I felt it was only right that Alice’s story be heard. Please ensure that you read Windy Afternoon first, else this story will make little sense to you. And please don’t hate me – I never said her story would be pretty.

Disclaimer: All characters owned and created by Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing, except my own blue eyes and dimples.

~xxXxx~

Alice’s POV

I tried to be brave as I prepared to leave him that morning, not wanting him to see the pain I felt as my soul was slowly ripped in two. I kissed him adieu, never goodbye, savouring the feel of his soft lips against mine one last time until fate saw fit to reunite us once more.

He didn’t try to make me stay; his actions alone betrayed his feelings. His strong arms held me tight as his kissed my hair, my neck, my forehead, before finding my lips one last time. I responded with everything I had, my hands caressing his neck and delving into his hair, as our lips gave their all, each creating an indelible imprint on the other.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Oh Juliet, how right you were.

As I drove away, watching him slowly disappear in the distance, the tears fell as my soul mourned.

~xxXxx~

When I arrived back at my temporary accommodation, I unpacked my few belongings and ran a practiced eye around the place. Everything looked ok. I went downstairs and asked Mrs Landry if anyone had come looking for me whilst I was away. She shook her head, smiling reassuringly, and with a smile I bounced back upstairs to load my photos from the shoot.

I was happy with the overall results, and was sorting them into a portfolio for my potential client when I came across the candid shot of Emmett, lost in his memories. For the longest time I simply gazed at him, daring to dream of a future where we could be together - free. Unable to resist, I printed it out on my printer’s maximum size setting and pinned it to the wall by my small bed as proof that my memory was not mistaken.

As time wore on, the photo would serve as a talisman, keeping me safe from the nightmares and the terror.

~xxXxx~

Life carried on as usual for a while. Ever watchful, I continued to work, landing a small contract here and there, the popularity of the beach shoot bringing me a small taste of success as the client passed my portfolio on to other small businesses. I kept using the same fake name for my business, hoping against hope that James would not recognise it if he ever stumbled across an advertisement in a local magazine.

I still lived in fear. The past would never fully heal, not until he was removed from my life and locked away for good. Only then would I fully relax.

Oh, but he was wily. The police had almost caught him a number of times, but each time he slipped the net, assuming another fake identity as he deftly dodged their attempts to apprehend him. They reassured me that it was only a matter of time before his luck ran out.

Time was something I had precious little of, not while James was still on the loose, and intent on retrieving his prized possession, his puppet... his whore.

Life with James has always been like walking a tightrope.

He had found me as a young, impressionable sixteen year old, orphaned at an early age, and flattered me like only a true master could. I shyly believed his lines about my beauty and my innocence; I accepted that he knew more about life than me and that he knew best when it came to what was good for me.

He looked after me. And for a while it had been good.

Then everything changed.

That first time would be forever burned into my brain.

He had been drinking, and had come back to our small apartment stinking of whisky, with two friends in tow. Slamming the door shut behind them, he had announced in front of his mates that it was time to ‘make me a woman’ as he had been patient enough until now. I had tried to hide but, small as I was, there was nowhere to go and I found myself pinned to the dirty mattress as his hands pushed up my dress, trying to reach my underwear. Eventually he called over his friend, Stefan, who held me down so that my clothes could easily be removed, exposing my virgin body to their leering stares.

I was shaking with fear, having little to no idea what to expect. As James undressed in front of me, I averted my eyes in shame until he grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him and the part of him that was hard and angry looking. I started sobbing as he told me that it was my job to make daddy feel good, and that little girls should always do what their daddy told them to. With that, he pinned me to the mattress and forced himself into me, tearing me apart and grunting like a pig as he hurt me over and over, his hand over my mouth to silence my screams of pain. He wasn’t remotely affected by the tears pouring down my face onto the mattress, or my muffled cries beneath his hand.

However, when he was done I realised just how bad this was going to be, as first Stefan, and then Laurent proceeded to rape me. When they had done with me, James announced I was now a woman, properly broken in for service and that I was to be ready for him, day or night, at his whim. As his eyes took in my abused body, I heard him comment to the others that my tits were a disappointment. They then left the apartment, guffawing loudly, leaving me shaking and bleeding and wanting to die.

As time progressed, the rapes were frequent and the men interchangeable. I discovered that I was a commodity, used in exchange for everything from drugs to general favours. If James needed something from some lowlife, he would offer me as part of the deal. They eagerly accepted every time, my small, childlike body appealing to them in a frightening way.

More than once I tried to escape, to get away from the abuse, but always when he found me I was beaten until I was too damaged to walk or even stand. Never enough to need a doctor, but always enough to incapacitate.

My last unsuccessful attempt had been so close that I really thought I had made it. I had hitched a ride south and hidden out in a small backwater town, biding my time and earning an honest dollar as a waitress. With a small amount of money saved I had bought my first, old, third hand if it was a day, SLR camera, and so began my obsession with photography. I practiced whenever I could, gaining confidence and garnering praise from my new friends. I even made a few dollars taking portraits of the local children.

James finally found me, dragging me back to hell once again. He laughed off my attempts at fighting him, telling me that I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything and that I should forget trying to be something I wasn’t. To punctuate his point, my camera was smashed on the ground, and I felt like my last shred of hope for the future had been destroyed along with it.

This time the beating was worse.

This time I needed a doctor.

What I got was a failed medical student whose chosen career path had u-turned from medic to coke addict. To his credit, he had found the one subject at which he was a truly exceptional student.

However, he managed to diagnose internal trauma and possibly permanent damage; the only treatment I received, however, was morphine for the pain. I heard him whisper to James that I may never be able to have children now; the beatings that James had administered had been concentrated on my abdomen, and in his opinion something had ruptured in there that was causing me to bleed outside of my cycle. James seemed unconcerned, simply telling him to patch me up.

As I drifted into morphine-induced unconsciousness, my only thought was that at least I would never have to carry the child of a psychopath.

I woke, screaming in pain.

Another dose of morphine.

Blackness.

I lost all track of time.

~xxXxx~

When the day finally arrived that I was able to move without drugs, I woke to find an empty apartment. Sliding from the stinking mattress, I tested my legs and my balance. Shaky, but no nausea or dizziness, despite my not eating for ... how long had it been? Feeling a pull, I looked down to see a tube leading from my arm to a bag hung above the bed.

So at least someone cared enough to keep me alive.

I carefully unplugged the bag and hissed as the needle slid free from my vein. I pressed hard, hoping the bleeding would stop soon as the sight of blood turned my stomach.

Making my way slowly to the bathroom, I raised my dress and looked at my belly in the small, rust speckled mirror over the basin. I cried out in shock when I saw the colours painted across my skin, the knuckle marks clearly outlined in vivid shades of black, purple and red.

As the tears slid down my cheeks I knew I had to escape, or die trying.

I owned nothing, and empty handed I opened the door, checking the hallway for signs of life. For signs of them. Hearing nothing, I crept out and closed the door, keeping to the shadows against the far wall as I made my way toward the stairwell. Feeling the blood pound in my ears, I slunk down the stairs, trying to keep my footfalls as silent as possible. When the door came into sight my fear ratcheted up a notch, convinced that he would appear at any moment. But no – the way out was clear.

This time I didn’t run.

This time I went to the police.

~xxXxx~

The police doctor was kind and tried her best to be gentle, but the internal injuries were still raw enough to make me scream out when she took a look inside with her instruments. My belly was photographed, my bruises and welts measured precisely, before I was taken to hospital for surgery to repair the injuries I had sustained.

The doctors confirmed what the junkie medic had suspected. It was unlikely I would ever fall pregnant; my body had suffered extreme trauma, and only time would tell if it could ever fully recover.

Whilst in the hospital I met a girl who was a volunteer, helping to cheer up the long term patients. Her name was Bella. She was very popular, and I would see the faces of the older patients light up when she walked into the wards, a smile and a word for everyone. Being the same age we bonded easily, she becoming my very first friend; someone who gave me far more than she ever took.

She stayed with me when the police came to discuss my future. It was decided that I be relocated while the search continued for James and his henchmen, and also that I would change my name.

Gone was Mary Alice Cullen, the innocent young girl from Sunnyside Children’s Home. Now I was Alice Brandon, my new surname chosen from my favourite TV show while I was growing up in the Home.

With Bella’s help I found a job and somewhere to live. My first home of my own was a room in a small boarding house, run by a lovely old lady who treated me like her own. In time, I bought another camera, a better one than before, and eventually my natural talent snared me an assignment for an advertising campaign.

That assignment led me to Emmett.

~xxXxx~

Feeling green again, I ran for the bathroom, barely making it in time.

After cleaning myself up I rang Bella, and asked her to come with me to the doctor. I still feared bad news whenever anyone in a white coat approached me, and I badly needed her unrelenting support.

However, when the doctor finished checking me over, her words didn’t sink in.

“I’m ... what?”

“You’re pregnant, Miss Brandon.” Looking at my face, she added, “I take it this pregnancy wasn’t planned?”

“If you look at her notes, doctor, I think you’ll see that this event was about as likely as finding daffodils growing on the moon.”

I could always rely on Bella.

Pregnant. I’m pregnant. Oh Emmett! We’re having a baby!

The doctor went through her procedures, sorting out dates and ante natal care, and all I could see was the elation in Emmett’s beautiful eyes when I finally got to tell him he was going to be a daddy.

Soon... let it be soon.

Bella and I started preparing for the baby, buying whatever little bits and pieces my salary and commissions allowed. Our excitement continued unabated as time passed, and my belly blossomed. More than once I wanted to contact Emmett, but I knew in my heart that he would want to come and get me, to protect and care for me, and that was something I just couldn’t risk. What James didn’t know about, he couldn’t destroy – not while he was still out there, god knows where.

At night I dreamed of Emmett, feeling his lips on mine and his arms around me. By day I talked to his photo, telling him my plans and how much I missed him every single day. I told him how proud he was going to be when he saw the new life we had created, and that I longed for the day when we could be a proper family.

The scan showed a boy, and I immediately knew that he would be Dale, in honour of his uncle.

It was a few weeks later, and the weather was getting warmer. I made my slow ascent to my room, my burgeoning belly now heavy and round, filling my loose shirt. As I reached my room I saw the door was ajar – perhaps Bella was here. But once inside I noticed immediately that it wasn’t Bella who had been here.

My picture of Emmett was gone.

~xxXxx~

James’ POV

“I found her.”

Stefan walked in, a triumphant expression on his face.

“There’s more. She’s pregnant - nearly due, I reckon. Oh, and I found this.”

He handed me a large photograph of a blond guy, smiling, not quite looking into the camera. My hands clenched into fists. Was this him? The one who dared touch my property? He would pay, and she would be dragged back to where she belonged to be taught a valuable life lesson.

As for the kid ... that was a minor inconvenience that could be turned to my advantage. In fact I bet there were hundreds of rich couples looking for a baby, no questions asked.

I smiled. All’s well that ends well.

“Tell me where she is.”

~xxXxx~

Searching the cramped apartment, I found magazine clippings tucked inside a framed photo of her baby scan. They featured photos by someone called Alice Brandon.

“So that’s your name now.” I pocketed the clippings and left quietly, careful not to wake the sleeping occupant of the downstairs room.

After a little bit of searching the internet provided me with details of the publications used and the companies that had hired her for the shoots. The locations were all listed. None looked familiar and so I made a list, deciding to check them out one by one.

The third place I tried was a sleepy little coastal town, total Hicksville, but with a beach that was a surfer’s paradise. The place was heaving with surfers, all in half zipped wetsuits, with sun streaked hair. It appeared I had arrived in the middle of their annual one day surf event, judging by all the banners and posters. Parking the jeep on an empty bit of road, Stefan and I walked down to the beach to get a look at the action and check out the locals. We stood watching the competitors do battle with the waves and each other until Stefan suddenly stiffened, and pointed across the sand.

“Check out the lifeguard.”

Checking the photo, I nodded, a smile curving my lips.

“Now we wait.”

We walked over to a diner and ordered coffee, making casual chit chat with the locals who were only too happy to talk about their town. They were friendly, and it turned out they were all fans of ‘the big guy’.

“His wife must get sick of all the females throwing themselves at him,” I joked.

One of the guys from the Surf Shack laughed, shaking his head.

“No wife. But he’s taken alright. Ever since he met a girl a few months back, she’s been all he thinks about. The others don’t stand a chance. He’s just waiting for her to come back; misses her like crazy. That guy’s got a heart as big as the ocean and it’s all hers.”

Stefan smiled. I was elated.

Not long now.

The next morning, with the prizes awarded and the tournament over for another year, the participants melted away like ice in the face of an apocalypse. The beach was clear, the surf undisturbed. Dressed as a tourist I walked around the small cluster of shops, casually listening and watching, until the big guy appeared, calling out to the Surf Shack owner as he jumped out of his jeep.

Picking up a package for him. What a boy scout.

We waited for him to drive by on his way back from the nearby town, and then we flagged him down. He jumped out, all muscles and an easy grin.

“Hey, boys! Trouble?”

You have NO idea.

“Yeah, she won’t start. Any chance of a jump?”

“Sure. I’ll get my leads - shouldn’t take much to get the old girl firing again. These babies are hard to kill; I know I wouldn’t trade mine for anything else. Wranglers are the best ride around!” He slapped his door affectionately, turning to the back of his jeep.

My teeth clenched at his choice of words.

“How about instead we just take yours?”

He looked at us, confusion passing over his face, before he shifted uneasily.

“Don’t worry; I’ll get you on your way in no time.”

I smiled, silently stepping forward.

“I don’t think you understand. How about I explain it a little better?”

I threw the punch before the big lug could even contemplate moving, and he went down hard. He was back on his feet in seconds, blood pouring from his nose.

“What the FUCK?”

Stefan was there in a flash, a length of pipe in his hands.

“He said give us your wheels, pretty boy.”

He went to swing the pipe, but the big guy got in first, slamming his fist up under Stefan’s jaw, sending him sprawling. I saw his fist flex, ready for the next punch as he turned to me.

“What the fuck is your PROBLEM, dude? I try to help and you mug me for my wheels? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong, you fucking idiot. You took something that belongs to me. I don’t appreciate someone playing with my toys - it makes me a little crazy. And crazy people have no self-control; so really all of this is your fault when you think about it.”

I felt Stefan hand me the pipe and I wielded it, slapping it into my open palm. “I don’t want your wheels, I want you on your knees, apologising to me. Think you can do that?”

He shook his head slowly, not taking his eyes from mine.

“I don’t know you, and I sure as hell don’t have anything of yours. I think you made a mistake here. And if you want a guy on his knees in front of you, I suggest trying your boy there – looks like he might be game.”

Something in me snapped. I lunged for him, swinging the pipe round in a wide arc. When it crashed into his shoulder, he howled out in pain, and I took advantage of his weakness to smash the pipe into his thigh, knocking him to his knees. I thought he was down for good, but he clambered back to his feet, his good arm throwing a punch that connected with the side of my head, sending me reeling.

Stefan was up on his feet, blood on his lips where he had bitten his tongue. He tried to pin the guy so I could hit him again, but it was like caging a wild bear. He was immensely strong, even injured as he was, and he landed punishing punches to Stefan’s abdomen and groin before I regained my wits and dragged him off.

Turning swiftly, he grabbed me, pinning me to the jeep by my throat. I could feel my windpipe being slowly crushed as he stared me right in the eye, shaking with the effort. Just when I thought I would suffocate, the pipe whistled through the air behind him, connecting with the back of his head. He crumpled to the ground, releasing me as he fell.

I rubbed my throat, gulping in air, approaching him with caution. His face was bruising rapidly from the earlier punch, but he was still breathing. As I leaned over him, the pipe now resting comfortably in my hand, I heard him mutter, “Alice...”

When I hit him one final time, I made sure he would never bother anyone ever again.

Climbing into the jeep, I found the keys still in the ignition.

Before driving away, I leaned out the door and spat on his broken, bloodied body.

“Goodbye, fucker.”

~xxXxx~

Alice’s POV

I gasped, holding my belly as the pains started.

No, he can’t have found me. He CAN’T have.

Terror washed over me at the thought of him so close and me so defenceless in my present condition.

Cramps hit me in another wave, and I gripped the banister hard as I shouted down the stairs to Mrs Landry to call 911. Bella arrived at the same time as the paramedics, and I told her through gritted teeth that James was here, that I was no longer safe. I heard her on the phone to the police before running to the ambulance to ride with me.

Compared to the beatings, birth was almost easy. I used the gas and air and panted when they told me to; Bella gripped my hand tight, urging me on.

When the time came to push my body almost couldn’t cope, but strength came to me as I pictured Emmett standing over me, telling me I could do anything – that I was strong.

Dale Brandon McCarty was born after a remarkably short labour; squalling as he greeted the outside world for the first time. I counted ten fingers and ten toes, kissing his nose and gazing in wonder at the perfect little life Emmett and I had created.

After an overnight stay for observation I was released, and following advice from the police I didn’t return to my little apartment, moving in with Bella instead. She truly was a wonder; during my brief stay in the hospital she had been to the boarding house and retrieved all of my meagre belongings, including Dale’s crib and the baby supplies we had accumulated. The police had spoken to Mrs Landry, assuring her that they would keep watch on the place until they were sure that the men would no longer be a threat to her. I was incredibly grateful to them as the old lady had been nothing but supportive to me.

Time sped by and we watched as Dale grew into a beautiful, blue eyed, miniature copy of his daddy. My boy was going to be a heartbreaker, no doubt about that. We still looked over our shoulders every time we left home and tried to stay together as much as possible for Dale’s safety as much as my own.

Finally, on a cold February afternoon, the police came and delivered the news we had been waiting for. James and the others had been picked up after a bar brawl got out of hand in the city, and were now languishing in police custody after being identified as my abusers.

Their luck had finally run out. The nightmare was almost over.

At the court hearing, the judge was shown pictures of my injuries and the measurements of the punches on my belly that matched James’ fists. My internal injuries were determined as being as a result of repeated beatings and assault. The defence had a very weak case, suggesting that I was mentally disturbed and that I had self-harmed after my boyfriend finished with me.

When both the police and the E.R. doctors took the stand, they quashed that argument almost immediately. In fact, the E.R. doctor stated that the fact that I had conceived and carried a baby to term was, by no other definition, a miracle. Meeting my eyes across the courtroom, he called me ‘a remarkable young lady who, despite her ordeal, has overcome it all to become a mother and a career woman’.

When the judge handed down his verdict on the trio, I cheered inwardly. James got a far more substantial sentence than Stefan, whereas Laurent got off lightly with a substantial fine and community service to occupy many, many hours to come.

As James and Stefan were led away, James turned to me and smirked. I was startled by his expression, expecting fury. My mind tried to comprehend the meaning behind it, but I was at a loss as to his reasons.

As I left the court I was caught up in a hug, as Bella ran to me. I wept with joy as I breathlessly told her of the verdict and the sentencing.

“It’s over, Bella. It’s really over. Now I can finally go back and find Emmett again. I hope he still wants me,” I said, my voice shaking, “because he’s all I can think about.”

Bella smiled, reassuringly. “From what you’ve told me about him, sweetheart, he’ll have been counting the days. When do we leave?”

I couldn’t control the smile as it crept over my face, like the sun finally emerging from clouds. Emmett and I belonged together; we had both known it when we parted and I couldn’t wait to finally be with him.

Lifting Dale out of his car seat, I swung him round, smothering his precious face in kisses as he giggled at my enthusiasm, his big, blue eyes wide with interest.

“We’re going on a trip, sweetheart. And when we get there we’re going to be a proper little family. And no one will ever keep us apart again.”

I lifted him into the air, enjoying his squeals of joy.

“It’s gonna be you, me and Daddy – forever and ever.”

~xxXxx~