Learning to Fly - Ch7

Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my wonderful pre readers who do an excellent job not killing me if I’m late updating.

I own nothing except fictional concert tickets, but keep that quiet as Emmett doesn’t know.

As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

~xxXxx~

CHAPTER 7

EPOV

The road ahead is empty.

I see the crossroads, automatically slowing, not needing to read the warning sign.

Smiling, I think of Carlisle; wondering how to explain it all to Emmett.

A car approaches the crossing from the left.

He doesn’t slow.

I brake hard, the car heading directly toward me.

My brakes lock, the car slews to the right as I fight to keep control.

A jolting, deafening crunch of metal and my seatbelt locks into the safety position.

The airbag inflates suddenly, forcing my head into the newly rearranged doorframe.

The coppery tang of blood in my mouth; a hot, metallic smell hanging in the air.

A sudden, deafening silence broken only by the ticking of engines.

And then nothing.

~xxXxx~

“Help me!”

I heard a scream as I bolted upright in bed, gasping painfully for air and sobbing.

Warm arms hugged me tight as I choked out the details of the dream, reliving it for the first time since the crash. The fear sent adrenalin coursing through me, my body shaking and sweating through the ordeal and I felt Carlisle stroke my back in comfort, rocking me ever so slightly and kissing my hair, telling me to let it out, just let it all out.

When I calmed, I turned to look at the small clock on the nightstand – 3.10am.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Shh. Don’t apologise for a bad dream. This is your memory sorting things out; you’re healing. It’s a huge leap forward, my love. Now – try to sleep, come lie back down.”

Resting my head on his chest, I breathed in the scent of him and closed my eyes, his arms keeping me close and safe.

~xxXxx~

When I woke much later, I was curled into Carlisle’s body, wrapped around him like a second skin. His hand idly stroked my arm and, when I raised my head, I saw him smiling at me.

“Good morning,” he said, dipping his face to mine and capturing my mouth in a kiss before nuzzling my nose with his. “How did you sleep? Better?”

“I think so; I don’t remember any more dreams. I can’t believe I remembered the crash. Now I understand why Emmett said my car was totalled; the door frame was all the way over my seat when I hit my head.”

Looking at him I saw his jaw tighten as worry flitted across his face, even though the accident was old news to him. “Thank you for staying last night. I don’t know how I would have coped if you hadn’t been here.” I frowned, hoping I didn’t sound needy.

“I’m here because you asked me to stay, and because honestly, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

As I shifted position against him his hand slid down, now stroking my waist and hip. I was conscious of my morning wood, his hand so close he would most likely be brushing against it if I moved so much as a fraction more. The thought of his hand on my erection only made me harder, and it threatened to burst free over the top of my underwear. I wondered if he was in the same predicament. With my arm draped over him I started to mimic his actions, my thumb tracing circles over his abs and around his bellybutton, running the back of my hand over his stomach, feeling the trail of hair that hinted at what lay below.

I suddenly wanted to see, no question in my mind. I wanted to make him feel good and show him how much he meant to me at the same time. Pushing myself up the bed I captured his mouth, kissing him with a hunger that I couldn’t control. I heard his harsh intake of breath as my cock grazed the inside of his hip, alerting him to my intentions, his hand moving to grip my ass and hold me there. My hand slid south and met first with the already damp waistband of his underwear, before encountering his swollen cock. I slid my fingers teasingly up and down either side of him before gripping and massaging him through the fabric, his hips bucking a little into my hand.

Pulling my lips away from his, I breathed hotly into his ear,

“This is what I wanted last night in the car, to have you literally in the palm of my hand. I hope you’ve no objections now?” I chuckled at his moan; my hand found its way under the elastic and I was finally feeling warm, eager flesh that was mine for the taking.

Kissing my way down his chest, I pushed aside the covers and worked my way across the smooth planes of his abdomen to where my hand still grasped his magnificence beneath the cotton. With my free hand I slid down his underwear and gave myself full access to the prize. Seeing him naked for the first time was a revelation. His body was toned and defined, his cock straight as a die, the head sitting proudly like a crown. Instinctively, my fingers gripped him how I liked to be held, moving smoothly up and down, brushing the underside of the head on each upstroke. His gasps spurred me on, and the realisation that I wanted to taste him came as no surprise. I had fantasised about this man for so long that the desire to experience the unknown overrode my natural hesitancy. I leaned in and lightly licked his balls, hearing his raspy intake of breath as I dragged my tongue over the firm globes. Taking one in my mouth I sucked it gently, my tongue bathing it in warm wetness before releasing it and lavishing the same attention on the other.

Carlisle’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, his moans exquisite. I stilled my hand on his straining erection, moving to lick along his length experimentally. Looking up, I met his hooded eyes as I allowed my tongue to swirl across his head, sweeping up the pre come that had gathered there and tasting the salty flavour of him as I did so.

My lips captured the engorged head of his cock and I took him into my mouth, my hand sliding down to the base holding him steady as I enveloped him, my tongue caressing his shaft as I sank down as far as I could.

Had I done this before? It felt... familiar.

I assumed I must have as, judging by his moans, Carlisle was certainly having a good time. I watched his stomach muscles flutter as I bobbed my head up and down his swollen shaft, my hand now working in tandem with my mouth and lips, keeping up a steady rhythm.

“Edward... oh god, Edward...”

Hearing my name drop from his lips only fed my desperation to please him. His guttural groans increased in volume as I felt him harden still further. Taking as much of him in my mouth as possible, I slid my free hand across the bed to where his fingers were bunching the sheet. His head had fallen back, his neck arched against the pillow as his breath came in heaving gasps. When my fingers found his he gripped them tightly, lifting his head to meet my eyes. His neck and chest were flushed, his eyes dark, his hips gently thrusting up into my mouth as I worked to push him over the edge into blissful ecstasy. Concentrating only on the sensitive head of his cock I mouthed it, fluttering my tongue against the underside, watching him until his face contorted and he stopped breathing for a second before a scream of release tore from him.

I swallowed his come as best I could, surprised by the quantity that he was able to produce. As his spasms slowed I was able to clean up the overspill, wiping my mouth before crawling up the bed and kissing my favourite spot on his neck, feeling the heat of his blood just beneath the surface.

He turned his head to face me.

“Unbelievable.” Rolling me over onto my back he pressed his mouth to mine, and I felt the blood thrum through my body with every flick of his tongue. His hand slid down to my aching erection, already wet from my copious leakage.

“I won’t last long,” I warned him, as his hand closed around my length and began gliding up and down in a maddeningly slow rhythm. I felt my balls tighten and tried to breathe slowly to delay the inevitable. Carlisle’s eyes never left mine, his breath hot against my mouth as his hand worked between our sweaty bodies. I was panting now, struggling to keep my eyes open and locked onto his. When I cried out helplessly, coming all over our stomachs, he captured my mouth, swallowing my cries of pleasure.

As I came down from my high, breathing heavily, he moved his weight off of me, resting his head on his hand as he looked down, smiling.

“Did you know the French have a saying for orgasms: ‘La petite mort’? It means ‘little death’; that moment of near unconsciousness when you come really hard. I definitely had one of those moments this morning.” He grinned at me, nuzzling his nose into mine. “Here’s hoping for a thousand more of them with you.”

I raised my eyebrow at him, looking deeply wounded. “Only a thousand? What will we be doing the rest of the time – knitting?”

He burst out laughing, and I laughed with him, wincing slightly at the sudden throb in my head.

Carlisle sat up, looking at me shrewdly.

“Does your head still hurt? It’s been a few days since the accident; have you only just started getting these headaches now?”

I paused, not wanting to admit the truth. When I saw he would not be put off, I exhaled hard.

“I’ve... been having headaches and the odd dizzy spell. I...it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Edward! Why haven’t you said anything about this?”

“Because I wanted us to be more than doctor and patient; I thought that you would revert to doctor mode and we’d be back to square one – no dates, definitely no sex. And I like that stuff.” I smiled wryly.

“Good to see that bump on the head didn’t knock any sense into you, then. Edward, you have concussion; no alcohol and absolutely no unnecessary exertion for the next few days and you’ll be fine. You need to rest up. No going to look at cars for a few days either – not unless Emmett test drives them for you.”

“So I can’t go back to work yet?” I knew Emmett would be okay and could cover my shifts, but I felt bad leaving him in the lurch like that. Plus, I needed to talk to him about the whole Lauren/Carlisle debacle. He was seriously out of the loop. I wondered how he would take the news that I was in love with a guy. It seemed a little wrong that I was considering telling Emmett when I hadn’t yet told Carlisle.

“Were you planning on going back this soon? I’m sure that wasn’t recommended when you checked out of hospital. Give yourself time to heal – talk to Emmett.”

He was right, of course. I guess my independent streak was strong; after all, I was used to working and looking after myself. But things can change, I reminded myself. I had a sudden thought.

“Does ‘no exertion’ mean no more sex?” I must’ve looked worried as he chuckled.

“I think what we’re doing is ok, but nothing more... strenuous, shall we say, until you are better. Just to be on the safe side.”

I swallowed hard, understanding his veiled reference immediately and feeling simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the same time. He was watching me closely.

“It’s only for a couple of days, and then we can explore further, if you want to. Now, how about we get cleaned up and go out for breakfast? Is there room for two in your shower?” His eyes sparkled with mischief.

Pushing myself up on my elbows, I pretended to think about it for a moment.

“Hmmm, it might be a bit of a squeeze, but if we stay close together we should fit.”

“Oh, I think that’ll work, don’t you?”

Sliding out of bed I turned, waiting for Carlisle to follow me, only to see him still laying there, his eyes predatory as they roved lazily over my naked body.

“Delicious,” he said, and goose bumps flared over my skin, my breath catching at the blatant suggestion in his voice.

“See something you like?” I challenged. “Well I’m off for a shower. Are you coming with...?” I laughed with childish delight when he flew out of bed and chased me out of the bedroom.

~xxXxx~

After a leisurely and very cosy shower, we dressed and made our way out to the little bistro across the street that served breakfasts. Over mouthfuls of pancakes, Carlisle made a suggestion.

“Why don’t you come and stay with me for a few days, just until you’re better.”

I automatically baulked at the suggestion, not meeting his eyes. I loved my independent life and, while having Carlisle in my home and my bed was perfection, I didn’t know if I could fit into his world, his life. I was self sufficient, having had to be growing up when mom worked long hours. The thought of living with someone, even for a short time, felt a little stifling. But then I thought back to how I had felt all those Wednesday nights when I went home alone after watching Carlisle leave the bar.

I am a walking contradiction. He’s not asking me to move in – it’s just for a couple of days. We’d probably drive each other crazy anyway if I stayed any longer than that. Our lives are so different; barman and doctor – how could that ever work?

As my self-doubt did battle with my pride, I realised Carlisle was speaking again.

“I can drive you anywhere you need to go, and make sure you eat. It’s important that you take it easy at the moment, Edward, and I just want to make sure that you’re okay. It’ll stop me worrying.”

My inner child railed. Don’t tell me what to do. I don’t need to be looked after. I put my fork down, having lost my appetite.

“Do you mind if I call Emmett? I really need to speak to him.”

He looked a little surprised at the change of subject, but rallied well.

“Sure, go ahead.”

I stood up and walked outside into the morning sun to call Emmett. He was up and working out, and sounded happy to hear my voice. I arranged to come over shortly to have a chat and he readily agreed. I walked back inside as I ended the call and, when I sat back down, Carlisle offered to drop me at Emm’s on his way home.

I paid for breakfast and we left, walking in uncomfortable silence out to the Mercedes, parked outside my building. I gave him the address and we drove to Emmett’s, the only sounds in the car that of our breathing. The atmosphere was strained, his unanswered question hanging in the air between us. Pulling up outside Emmett’s house, Carlisle looked despondent.

“Call me if you need a lift home?”

I nodded. “Emm will drop me home, no doubt. Can I call you later, anyway?”

He smiled, finally. “Please do, then I can relax. Remember, no alcohol, okay?”

“Yes, doc.” My mouth quirked into a slight smile.

I went to open the door, not knowing what else to do or say. His hand brushed mine and I squeezed it awkwardly, checking to see if Emmett was nearby. I’d rather tell him than show him, I decided. Not seeing him anywhere in the immediate vicinity I leaned over and kissed Carlisle with a smile before hopping out of the car. Watching him drive away, my thoughts were jumbled.

What the fuck is wrong with me? He’s perfect, he wants me, and I’m in love with him. Why am I holding back now?

Ringing the bell I waited for Emmett. Hearing his cheery bellow, I opened the door and yelled back:

“Just me, Emm!”

“Edward! Good to see ya, dude. How are you feeling?”

In true Emmett style, he threw an arm around me, clapping me on the shoulder.

“I’m okay, I think. I remembered the accident. Pretty brutal; no wonder the Subaru was a write-off. I’m definitely looking at getting a Volvo now.”

Emmett laughed. “So I can’t convince you to get a Jeep then? You wouldn’t regret it!”

I snorted my derision at that idea as we wandered through to his living room and sank into leather armchairs.

“Man, I forgot how nice these are.”

“So, Edward, what brings you here? Not that I’m not glad to see you. You remembered the accident, huh? Is that all that’s come back so far?”

“Yeah, so far. I’m hoping for more now the floodgates are open, so to speak. I need to know, Emm. It’s driving me crazy having these... gaps. That’s the main reason I came over. I need to tell you some stuff so you’ll understand what I mean, because my life as I remember it has changed somewhat in the last week or so.”

Emmett looked at me perceptively.

“Dude, you just got out of hospital yesterday. What the hell can have changed so much in so short a time? Problems with Lauren? She was acting a little weird in the hospital.”

I exhaled hard. Where to start?

“You have no idea.”

“So talk.”

“There’s something I never told you, before the accident I mean. On Wednesday nights this guy started coming to the bar. I didn’t recognise him and we didn’t talk, but I was ... attracted to him.”

Emmett’s eyebrows shot up into his hair and his eyes widened. I held up my hand when I saw him go to ask a question.

“Now, I have no memory of this yet but he and I somehow got together a couple of days before the crash.”

This time Emmett would not be denied.

“Got together? Edward, are you saying that you and he fu-”

I cut him off. “I think so, but, like I said, I don’t have any memory of that yet. He hasn’t given me any details; he says he wants me to remember in my own time.”

Emmett exhaled noisily, his knee jigging up and down. He was uncomfortable - I knew the signs.

“There’s more, Emm. Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah, I think so. Go on.” He twirled his finger in a circle.

“The thing is, when Lauren came to see me in the hospital she said that she and I had apparently done the same.”

“But isn’t that more likely, Ed? Really? I mean, this dude could be yanking your chain and just playing with you.”

“I don’t believe that. He and I have a... a connection I can’t explain. I just know it’s true. You yourself said in the hospital that it was a little odd I hadn’t told you about me and Lauren. Well, when I woke up in hospital and saw him, I recognised him straight away as the guy from the bar. He seemed so happy to see me, but then the nurses spoke to him and he disappeared. When he came by later he didn’t want to tell me anything, but I asked him outright if we were involved and he said yes.”

“He was at the hospital? Who is he?”

“Dr Cullen.”

“The old dude treating you?” Emmett looked horrified.

“No! No! The younger doctor - Rosalie’s friend. You must have seen him.”

“The tall, blond dude who visited you while I was there? He’s the one who kept me updated about you when you were in theatre. That whole night is a blur, what with the amount of that shitty coffee I drank.”

“That’s him. Well, Lauren came in later and started making a scene, crying and wailing that I had forgotten our first time. He came in and took her outside and that’s when I found out that Dr Cullen was...”

Emmett’s eyes widened suddenly.

“She called him ‘dad’! I remember that now! Edward – what the FUCK?”

I winced.

“I know, I know. It couldn’t really get much worse, huh?” I forced out a laugh, looking over at Emm who was utterly dumbstruck. He rubbed his hand over his face before resting it under his nose.

“Carlisle and I went on a date last night, and this morning we went a little further than that. It was incredible, Emm, far better than with any of the girls I’ve been out with. It was a deeper connection. I’m in love with him, and,” I shrugged, looking away as I felt my face go red, “I probably was before the accident.”

“Does he love you?” Emmett’s voice was low. “Because if he’s just leading you on, I’ll...”

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. I knew Emmett well enough to know that he would protect me like a brother.

“I’m sorry to lay all this on you, Emm, but you’re my friend and I need your advice. Apparently I have concussion and shouldn’t be left alone until I’m healed. Carlisle wants me to go stay at his place for a bit. I kind of freaked out in my head and didn’t answer right away; you know I’ve always lived alone. I don’t know how to live with someone else; having him stay at my place was comfortable, sort of my house, my rules. Anyhow, I didn’t answer him and now he’s acting really off, distant and strange.”

Emmett looked at me like I didn’t have two brain cells to rub together.

“Of course he is. He thinks you don’t want to, or you don’t trust him. If you are serious about this dude then you have to show him. He sounds as nervous as you are. Is he openly gay? Has he dated men before?”

“He told me in the hospital about a long term partner who passed away a few years ago. He’s been alone for a while now.”

“So this is his first relationship in quite a while, and with someone who usually dates women. Knock knock, Edward, see the problem here? Sounds to me like he’s terrified you’ll meet some gorgeous girl and realise that’s what you really want, leaving him heartbroken and alone again, feeling all used and spat out. He’s every bit as scared as you are. Plus he’s putting himself out there after having already lost someone he loved; losing someone else might be too much for him to cope with.”

He stared at the rug for a moment before looking directly at me.

“I cannot believe I’m saying this, but you need to tell him how you feel. If he makes you happy, and he’s what you want, he deserves to know.”

My mind spun. So help me, Emmett’s words made sense. Of course Carlisle wasn’t trying to control or (worse still) parent me. He had come close to losing someone he cared about, and now simply wanted to protect me. I remembered how his face had tightened when I told him about the crash; I had overlooked how terrified and helpless he must have felt just standing on the sidelines, unable to do his job, unable to help in any way.

He must have been going out of his mind. I am so fucking stupid.

Emmett left me to think for a minute, stepping out of the room to grab a couple of bottles of water. When he walked back in, supping from his bottle, he posed a valid question.

“What the fuck are you going to do about all this Lauren business?”

I took the bottle and cracked open the seal.

“Obviously Lauren’s pissed, and with good reason. I don’t remember sleeping with Carlisle, and I don’t know for sure that I didn’t sleep with her, so she’s playing games with me. She must have found out somehow; Carlisle knows the whole story, I’m just several paces behind.”

“How the hell can she have found out though? Do you reckon he told her? It’s not like she could walk in on you or anything, is it. Boy, seeing her dad having sex; wouldn’t that scar her for life.”

“No, she didn’t see anything, but her timing was impeccable.” I stopped dead.

Oh. My. God.

“But you said...”

I dragged my eyes up to Emmett’s startled ones. My voice came from far away.

“I tried to end it with both of them when I found out who they were. Oh shit, Oh shit. Carlisle told me to leave, but then later he rang me and came over to sort it out. He said he didn’t care, that he wanted to be with me.”

Doors were opening in my mind, pictures leaking out of each, the memories muddled and confused, not making complete sense, but they were there.

Carlisle waiting for me outside the bar...

Touching him for the first time...

Lauren telling me to stay away from him...

Making love to him in my bed...

My breathing faltered as that memory arose, pure and clear, the emotion around it overwhelming me.

Emmett looked at me worriedly as I laughed, even as a tear of happiness slid down my face. Wiping my face, I grinned at Emmett.

“I promise I’ll explain later, when I get it all straight in my head, but right now I need to go home and pack.”

Emmett grinned.

“Sounds like a plan, dude. Let me get my keys.”

Waiting for him, I shook my head in disbelief. I had almost let my head talk my heart out of what I wanted. Emmett reappeared, clutching his keys and I followed him out to the Jeep.

“So, are you going to tell me about Rosalie? Have you two had a chance to meet up yet?”

His smile broadened and I swear I saw a blush.

“Tonight. I used my contacts and got tickets to the Florence and the Machine gig. In the hospital Alice said they were Rose’s favourite, but that she’d not been able to get tickets. Hope she likes it.”

“You have told her you’re going too, right? You’re not just giving her the tickets so she can take Alice instead?”

“Ha ha, very funny! That only ever happened once, so let it go! I’ve arranged to pick her up and we’ll drive there – she has no idea where we’re going! Should be a great first date.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “First dates are pretty magical.” My smile was so wide I couldn’t even begin to control it.

Arriving home, I packed some clean clothes and essentials into an old sports bag, adding in my favourite books. If I was going to be resting, I needed something reassuring to read. Emmett looked at me as he stood in the doorway to my room.

“Dude, are you sure? I’m just checking.”

I zipped up the bag.

“Yeah, I really am. You okay to give me a ride?”

“Sure, anything to keep my bar staff happy.” I gave him a pointed look and he laughed unashamedly. “Talking of that, I’ve got you covered until you’re ready to come back. Just let me know, okay?”

“Thanks, Emm. Once I’ve got the all clear I’ll be back to work. I’m kind of missing it – I like the routine.”

“Just enjoy the break and get better. At least I’ll know you’re in good hands with Dr Cullen.”

I grinned wolfishly.

“Oh very good hands.” I winked.

We drove across town until the neighbourhood started to look familiar. I didn’t have the address, but I remembered the woods nearby, and soon we were pulling up outside his house. I lifted my bag from the back seat and turned to Emmett.

“Thanks, man. I owe you one for all this. Say hi to Rosalie for me – hope you guys have a great date and who knows; maybe we can all get together soon. Rose, Alice and Carlisle are great friends so should be easy to arrange if everything goes well. I know Carlisle wants to make sure you’re good enough for her.”

“Yeah yeah. Later, dude.”

As I walked toward the house I pulled out my phone and dialled Carlisle’s number, waiting for him to pick up.

“So, is it still ok for me to stay?”

“Of course!” He sounded so happy. “Do you need me to come pick you up?”

As he spoke I rang the doorbell, and heard him apologise.

“Someone’s at the door. Don’t go anywhere.”

As he opened the door, I answered him,

“Where would I go? Carlisle, I remember. I remember everything.”

His smile could have illuminated the city. As I kissed him, I heard the Jeep pull away.

~xxXxx~

Learning to Fly - Ch 6

Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my ever loyal pre readers who keep me on the right track.

As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

~xxXxx~

CHAPTER 6

EPOV

The kiss broke; the only sounds in the room our rapid breathing as we fought for control. I rested my forehead against his, feeling his breath on my face as I inhaled his scent, so happy that one piece of the jigsaw had slotted into place. Pulling back a fraction, I watched his eyes flutter open, their rich depths drawing me in as they refocused on mine. When he spoke, his voice was a breathless whisper.

“I’ve missed that more than you know.”

My breathing faltered and my stomach flipped. Swallowing hard, I summoned my courage.

“I thought, before all this confusion I mean, I thought that maybe we’d gone out for drinks or something to eat, and made out in the car on the way home. I had no idea.” Carlisle looked at me questioningly and I felt myself blush under his scrutiny. “Sorry, I’m not making much sense, am I. Ah... today, when I got home from the hospital, I noticed the fragrance of unfamiliar cologne on my pillows. I thought maybe it had been a gift or something and I’d forgotten, but, for some reason I couldn’t fathom, the scent seemed oddly comforting to me. It felt weird.”

I sucked in a ragged breath before continuing, my courage starting to waver. My words came out in a rush as I struggled not to stumble over them, my eyes downcast.

“But standing here, kissing you, I can smell it again. It’s your cologne, and the only reason my bed would smell of you is if you’d been in it - which means we must have slept together.” It was a statement rather than a question.

When I dragged my eyes back to his he was watching me intently, our hands still entwined, his thumb lightly rubbing across my knuckles.

“Does that scare you?” His question was tentative.

“No.” I blinked, realising it was true. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. I’ve never... you know... with a guy before.”

He smiled, looking bashful, and my insides fluttered faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

“We don’t have to do that again if you don’t want to. I’m not assuming anything here, Edward, we take this as slow as you want. I meant what I said before - if you change your mind about us...”

I silenced him with another kiss, my hand reaching out to pull him closer to me, passion rising as our tongues reached out and explored, touching tentatively at first, then growing bolder. My body was aflame from my feet to the roots of my hair. Never in all my life had I been kissed like this – so expertly and thoroughly. There was no fumbling, no awkwardness, just pure lust storming through my body as the kiss continued, ferocious in its intensity. I felt I would suffocate if I let him go, his lips so moulded to mine that we were one entity as we stood locked together in desire, no longer a part of space and time.

Finally pulling away I nuzzled into the hollow of his throat, my hot breath fanning across his neck as I trailed upward, leaving feather light kisses along his flushed skin. When my nose reached the underside of his jaw I stopped and inhaled deeply, finding the potent mix of cologne and heat on his skin utterly intoxicating. I listened to his uneven breathing and quiet gasps, thrilled by his responses to me. Leaving the soft, fragrant recesses of his throat I moved slowly along his smooth jaw line until I reached his slightly parted, expressive lips, claiming them once more as my own. This time my hand found his hair and tangled into its softness, pulling him closer still as he deepened the kiss, my knees weakening as my body demanded his touch, craving his flesh against mine. I loved the total loss of control, handing myself over to him in total acceptance, relinquishing my power to his authority. It had felt so right being naked with him; there had been no fear, only lust and pleasure and need...

Where did that come from?

Racking my brain I couldn’t conjure up any memory of the event my mind was referring to, only that odd feeling of chasing a dream that was unravelling before my eyes, fragile as a soap bubble. Perhaps I was merely fantasising, hallucinating through lack of oxygen, but as he pillaged my willing mouth I surrendered completely, moaning as I pressed myself against him tighter than ivy on an oak. My hand slid up under his shirt, my splayed fingers feeling his heat as they roamed the expanse of his back. I heard his muffled groan as the kiss intensified, his muscles jumping at my touch. My jeans had tightened considerably and I realised now that it wasn’t just mine that were affected. This time when we pulled apart it was all I could do not to start unbuckling his belt.

I couldn’t deny that my body yearned for him; all those fantasises I had had about him were nothing compared to this all-encompassing need burning through me, erasing all caution and doubt in its path. This thing we had, he and I, it was right and I wanted to tell him so, but I knew his response would be to wait – wait until I could remember fully. I understood how scared he was, but I wanted to tell him that just being with him gave me a sense of completion I hadn’t felt in forever.

“Carlisle...”

“Mmhmm?” His breathing was laboured; his darkened eyes drank me in.

“I think we better get going before your friend comes to find us. Let’s go and get something to eat. I don’t want this date to end just yet. It’s my best first date ever.” I smiled at him, feeling the heat rise in my face as I did so.

He laughed, stroking his thumb across his lower lip absentmindedly. This time I reached out and caught his hand; he looked surprised until I touched that same thumb to my lip, kissing the fleshy pad softly. His breath caught and he reached out to capture my free hand.

“Let’s go say goodbye to Sam and find a nice restaurant before I break my promise to myself and drag you into the back seat of the Mercedes.” He chuckled, his eyes still dark with desire.

We walked slowly out of the Dome, stopping once to look back at the calm scene all around us. Carlisle looked at me with a mischievous smile.

“You know, I think those fish got to see more than their money’s worth.” I grinned, bumping his shoulder playfully as we walked at a leisurely pace back through the exhibits, stopping to admire the giant octopus as he glided across his gigantic tank to investigate us. As we reached the exit, I saw a light on in a room marked ‘Staff Only’. Carlisle called out.

“We’re off, Sam. Thank you for the favour.” I heard an answering call.

“No worries, brother. Anytime. See you soon.”

“We’ll have a drink soon, my friend. The tab will be on me.”

“I’ll hold you to that, doc.” His laugh was as deep as his voice and seemed oddly fitting in its surroundings, as if the heavy waves of high tide were rumbling all around us.

Carlisle led me outside into the cool, dark air and we walked back toward the car, our hands clasped.

“So – where are we going to eat?” I didn’t really know of any good places; usually I just picked up a slice of pizza if I was in a hurry. Good food wasn’t something I ate too often and I was a little concerned as to where Carlisle would want to go.

“I know a little family run place that does really good steak if you’re interested. Or if you want seafood we can go to ...”

“Steak is good. In fact I haven’t had a decent steak in forever. You won’t hate me if I order it well done, will you? I used to get grief from Emmett for that. He said it killed the flavour, but I just like it cooked.”

He laughed and turned, walking backwards for a few seconds while he looked at me.

“However you want it is fine with me, Edward.” His words sent shivers through me as I forgot all about food for a moment, my mouth dry. I pulled him closer to me and we walked the short distance to the Mercedes, our hands locked together, our bodies in constant contact. He unlocked the car and slipped gracefully inside; I climbed in the other side and just sat for a moment, waiting for Carlisle to start the car. When he didn’t I risked a look at him, and as soon as our eyes met the air crackled with sexual energy. Turning in my seat, I gazed at him for a moment before reaching out to stroke his neck above the collar of his shirt. He turned toward me and I ran my fingers over his beautiful lips before leaning over and claiming them once more, powerless to resist him. His head fell back as I pressed him against the headrest, leaving his lips to explore his throat once more. This time I ventured lower, into the open collar of his shirt, his breathing became a little uneven as I ran my tongue around the ‘v’ of exposed flesh. Cupping his face, I ran my lips across his cheek working my way slowly around until I nuzzled his ear, mouthing his earlobe before touching the tip of my tongue against the outer shell, circling it slowly inward, bathing the skin in warmth. His breathing was now very laboured; when he suddenly spoke, he struggled to keep his voice even against the onslaught of my tongue and his obvious arousal.

“Edward, stop. We can’t do this. Not here. We’ll get arrested for indecency.” My lips brushed against the damp skin and he groaned, my breath spilling into his ear.

“Then take us somewhere we can do this. Please, Carlisle.”

~xxXxx~

CPOV

My head spun as his mouth systematically sought out my most sensitive spots, teasing them mercilessly. I hadn’t been joking about the back seat – every cell in my over-stimulated body screamed at me to pull him into the back of the car and rip off the clothes that displayed his body to such perfection. My jeans were incredibly tight and I could feel dampness on the fabric beneath as I struggled to regain control. It was too soon... too soon... too soon...

Focus! My god it’s hot in here.

Before his hands could reach for my belt and release my aching flesh, I summoned my last ounce of restraint. Running my hand through my hair, I sat up in my seat and started the engine. Edward sat back; as I reached for the lights I saw movement on the footpath in the shadows and realised how close we had come to being seen. The windows were fogged and I turned on the air vents as I edged out of the parking bay and turned for the main road.

I could hear Edward’s loud breathing as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to ease the pressure. I headed for town and we drove in silence for a couple of minutes before he realised we weren’t headed back in the direction of his apartment.

“Uhh... Carlisle? Where are we going?” He sounded confused.

“We’re going for dinner, like we planned. You need some decent food inside you and I’m willing to bet you haven’t been grocery shopping since this morning. Unless Emmett came over and stocked your fridge for you, that is.”

Edward snorted with laughter. “Yeah, like that was ever going to happen! I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow and stock up on essentials. What little fresh food I had went bad while I was gone – all my food now has a furry coating.”

I grimaced. “Let me prescribe the penicillin, Edward. Leave the home grown variety well alone.” Looking at him sideways, I grinned. At that moment my stomach growled and I realised I hadn’t eaten in hours due to my nervous anticipation of tonight. Edward snickered quietly.

“You didn’t eat before tonight either, did you?” I shook my head. He looked down as he spoke. “Glad it wasn’t just me. I was so nervous about this, even though I couldn’t wait for it to happen. I swear I was like a girl on her first ever date – trying to find the right outfit to impress you. It’s kinda pathetic.” He laughed dryly.

Slowing to a stop at the lights, I looked over at him sitting next to me, flushed with embarrassment. “Well, if it helps, I can tell you that purple suits you very, very well.” The lights went green and seeing the little restaurant up ahead I slowed and pulled in, easing the car into an empty space. As I switched off the engine and unfastened my seatbelt, I looked over at him.

“In fact, right now you look like Christmas morning to me. The best gift I could ever ask for.” I stroked his freshly shaven jaw with the backs of my fingers and he leaned into me. We kissed, breaking away before it could become heated once more.

“Hungry?”

He didn’t have to answer for me to know that he hungered for more than steak.

We walked into the inviting warmth, the place just as I remembered. I had barely closed the door when I was spotted by Demetri who came rushing over to hug me, exclaiming loudly that it had been too long since my last visit. I agreed with him and turned to introduce Edward to my old friend. As they shook hands, I heard a loud scream from the kitchen and Irina appeared, her arms wide, as she rushed to embrace me. I was enveloped in a tight hug as she muttered words both of castigation and happiness at my reappearance. I had known the couple for many years and ate here regularly back when Marcus and I wanted a little time to ourselves away from hospital gossip and customers. We were treated like family after our first visit when Irina had burned herself badly in the kitchen. I had treated and dressed the burn on the premises and told her to come in to see me the next day. They were so grateful and I was told there would always be a table for us at Oleander’s.

Demetri’s eyes sparkled as he took in mine and Edward’s clasped hands, leading us to the private booths on the far side where we would not be disturbed. I thanked him, and he produced menus with a flourish before retiring discreetly. The restaurant was quiet despite the hour, and we were alone in our cosy corner, comfortable on the curved, leather banquettes, our legs touching under the table. The only direct light came from the solitary candle on the table that cast a dancing shadow on the wall of the booth. I knew what I would order but I waited for Edward to choose. When Demetri returned I ordered a medium steak in peppercorn sauce with a house salad. Edward, on the other hand, ordered a well done steak, no sauce, fries, and asked for tomato ketchup. I shook my head, laughing, as Demetri’s eyebrows shot up into his hair. Catching his eye, I also ordered two cold beers. I wondered what Irina would make of her prized steak being covered with ketchup, and smirked. Returning with the beers, Demetri also slid over a small bread basket.

Passing Edward his beer, I decided to make a toast. Looking into his beautiful green eyes, I raised my bottle.

“To us.”

“To us,” he echoed, touching the bottles together before each taking a pull, the cool liquid soothing to my parched throat. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The purple shirt he wore suited him so perfectly, and I’m sure Alice would agree that it went well with my black choice, not that I was worried about being coordinated. In my honest opinion, both shirts would look even better on my bedroom floor, but I was trying hard to keep my mind out of the bedroom and just enjoy Edward’s company, fully clothed.

While we waited for the food to arrive, we talked about our interests and to my delight I discovered that he too had a love for classical music. It transpired that Edward was an accomplished pianist having taken classes since he was small.

“Would you play for me some time?”

He smiled awkwardly.

“I’d love to, but I don’t have a piano here in Seattle. My mom used to rent one for me when I lived at home. I don’t know anywhere around here that has one for public use. If I get a bigger place someday then I’d love to have my own. It’s a dream of mine.”

The food arrived and smelled amazing; for the first time that evening I was able to concentrate on something other than the beautiful man in front of me. I cut into the succulent steak, cooked to perfection, and was about to take a bite when I noticed with amusement that Edward was delicately dipping his fries into the ketchup one by one, rather than just smothering them with sauce. He caught me watching and stopped.

“What? You don’t like fries and ketchup?”

“Not personally, no. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to stare, I was just looking at your hands. Now that I know you’re a musician I can see that you really do have the most perfect fingers for a pianist.”

He looked surprised for a moment, looking at his hand and frowning, flexing the fingers before picking up his knife and slicing into his steak.

“I’m glad you like them, Doctor. They are good for other things too.” He chewed his steak and chased it with a mouthful of beer. I waited for him to swallow before replying with a smile,

“Oh, Edward, I know they are.”

He blushed and gripped his cutlery tightly, cutting off the blood supply to his fingertips. I wanted to reach across and soothe him, to apologise for my comment, but when he looked at me again with huge, darkened eyes I realised he wasn’t mad with me, just frustrated at having a barrier between us. I barely tasted the rest of my meal, although I’m sure it was as excellent as ever. We talked about our work and our friends until Edward had finished his steak, leaving some of his fries untouched. When I asked if I could have one, he picked up a fry and placed it in front of my lips for me to sample. I took it between my teeth and ate it, my gaze locked to his. Holding his hand in place I sucked in his long, elegant finger, all the time rubbing my forefinger in light circles over his upright palm. I watched his skin flush, a moan escaping his throat as I slid my lips from the finger and kissed the tip. Before things could spiral out of control, Demetri reappeared to enquire if we would dessert and coffee. I shook my head; looking to Edward I saw him do the same and I asked for the bill.

Standing to leave, I saw Edward try to adjust his jeans surreptitiously. Crossing the small space between us, I slid my hand into his and I felt him relax as he gripped it like a drowning man would a life raft. Paying the bill, and brushing off Edward’s attempt to split it, I was asked by Irina to take a look at a new painting her husband had purchased. Knowing my love of art, he very much wanted my opinion on its quality and authenticity. I was more than happy to take a look and so Edward and I were led through to the private rooms at the back of the restaurant. They were furnished in rich, opulent colours that I recognised as Irina’s influence. Delicious plum and gold voile drapes hung at the windows, the furniture covered in rich aubergine and plum velvet throws with delicate golden stitching. The overall effect was warm and welcoming, and a touch Moroccan in my opinion. Leading us through the rooms, Demetri paused at a magnificent painting in what looked to be an ornate gilded frame, quite possibly the original from its time.

I had to let go of Edward’s hand as Irina whisked him away to proudly show off her home; I hadn’t yet heard them return. The soft strains of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata drifted through from another room, and I looked at Demetri, confused. He silently pointed to Irina, standing transfixed outside an open door. My feet carried me unbidden to her side and my eyes fell on a beautiful old piano at which sat Edward, his eyes closed, fingers flying over the keys. The music swelled with so much power and emotion it was as if his soul was laid bare for me to see, and it pulled at my gut until I could barely draw breath. Confusion, frustration and pain were written plainly across his face, and for one brief moment I almost feared for him until I heard the mood shift and felt the change in emotion. The melancholy notes were so poignant, so stunningly beautiful, made all the more so because they were played with such raw passion. The melody made me want to weep for lost loves and for lost, lonely souls, for surely Edward, as he displayed his heart to me, was lost without his memory.

As the music quieted and faded, he opened his eyes and belatedly realised he had an audience. He tried to apologise, but was cut off by Irina who hugged him, telling him that it was the first time her piano had truly been played by a maestro. Walking over to his side, I stroked his face as he lifted it to me, his eyes full of want and craving. Conscious of our company I looked to the door to find it closed, leaving us alone in the cosy, intimate room. Giving in to an overwhelming pull I leaned down and kissed him, the nearness of him, and the touch of him, more essential to me now than the air in my lungs.

Oh my darling.

Taking his hand I pulled him to his feet, the only noise in the room the soft, wet sounds of our kisses blended into the symphony of our ragged breathing.

Our lips reluctantly parted, and I looked deep into his eyes.

“Let’s get you home. It’s been a long day.” Our hands still intertwined, I led him to the door and out into the hallway. Irina appeared and, with a beaming smile, hugged us both, ordering us to visit again soon. Demetri clapped me on the back and, shaking Edward’s hand, told him he was welcome to come play their piano whenever he wished. Edward looked awkward, but his thank you was sincere. As we walked out to the car, he was silent and didn’t speak again until we were seated inside.

When he spoke, his words stunned me.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to embarrass you in there in front of your friends. It’s just been so long since I played and I forgot it was someone’s house. I just sat down for a moment and played without thinking.” His hands were twisting as he sat looking straight ahead. I reached out, stilling his hands with mine.

“Look at me, please?” He grimaced before complying, and I saw fear and self loathing etched into his beautiful features. As he quickly looked away again, I was at a loss.

Why are you scared, my love?

“You think you embarrassed me?” My voice barely registered above a whisper. “Edward, you were amazing back there. You had Irina almost in tears; and me... well, I’ve never seen someone so lost in their own world. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to let me in.”

His eyes flew to my face. He looked bewildered.

“You were afraid? Why? You could do some much better than me. I’m damaged. What were probably the most important memories of my life are missing, and I may never get them back. That terrifies me – that I may never remember us, how we began and how that felt.” Pulling his hand away, he banged his fist down hard on his thigh.

“If that is the case, then we will make those memories again for you - together. I can’t not see you, not have you in my life. You own me, Edward Masen. Body and soul I’m yours, and I don’t ever want that to change.”

It was my turn to be scared; the thought of life without Edward caused my stomach to twist painfully. I remembered my promise to him as he lay unconscious in that hospital bed: no more sleeping alone – he belonged with me. While I tried to do the right thing and resist his advances, despite ample provocation, I knew that being apart from him wasn’t an option. My defences were down, and if he wanted me tonight I wouldn’t fight him anymore. We would make new memories together, strong memories that would shine bright within us for all the years yet to come.

I started the car, pulling out of the restaurant parking bay and heading back toward Edward’s home. Once on the main road, I reached over and laced my hand with his as we drove in silence, each in turn looking over at the other. Arriving at his building a short trip later, I pulled up outside and turned off the engine, using our joined hands to put it into neutral. Slipping off my seatbelt with one hand I waited; the ball now firmly in his court. Whatever happened now was his choice. Either way, he would be in comforting and familiar surroundings.

The mood in the car was so different to earlier when it had been all lust, desire and heat. Now I felt only tension and worry swirling around us.

“Do you need anything?” I ventured, my thumb brushing his fingers affectionately.

If he’s changed his mind, accept it. You’ve told him how you feel.

Had I?

He turned to me, and I felt my heart skip.

“Come up?” His eyes looked... bleak. Releasing his hand, I climbed out of the car and waited for him to unlock the building door, holding it open for me as I followed him up to where my most recent memories of us together were centred. He bolted the apartment door behind us and walked through to his bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I now felt genuine concern – his behaviour was different.

“Edward, are you feeling alright? Is it your head?” Following him through, I was at his side in mere moments, checking his stitches for any sign of swelling.

“It hurts.” His hands fisted at his sides, his eyes clenched shut.

“I have painkillers in my bag. I’ll go and fetch them from the car.” Unlocking the door, I flew downstairs and retrieved the bag from the trunk. Back inside I poured him a glass of water, handing it to him with the drugs in my palm, as I eyed him anxiously. He swallowed them with a little difficulty and chased them down with more water.

“Lie down,” I urged, helping him off with his shoes and socks and waiting for him to unbuckle his belt so I could slide the denim down his legs and over his feet. Pulling the covers over him, I stroked his unruly hair soothingly, and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before standing.

“Where are you going?” His voice was groggy now.

“You need to rest. Your body is exhausted after all the excitement tonight... you’ve overdone it and it’s all my fault.”

“Stay with me... don’t leave me...”

His plea was all it took. Slipping off my jeans and shirt, I carefully climbed in beside him. His warm legs immediately tangled around mine as he snuggled into my chest, his body automatically finding its favourite sleeping position just as it had the last time we shared a bed. My heart swelled with love for him, and I couldn’t deny it anymore. I held him close and kissed his bruised temple gently as he slipped into slumber.

“I love you, Edward.”

~xxXxx~