Learning to Fly - Ch7

Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my wonderful pre readers who do an excellent job not killing me if I’m late updating.

I own nothing except fictional concert tickets, but keep that quiet as Emmett doesn’t know.

As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

~xxXxx~

CHAPTER 7

EPOV

The road ahead is empty.

I see the crossroads, automatically slowing, not needing to read the warning sign.

Smiling, I think of Carlisle; wondering how to explain it all to Emmett.

A car approaches the crossing from the left.

He doesn’t slow.

I brake hard, the car heading directly toward me.

My brakes lock, the car slews to the right as I fight to keep control.

A jolting, deafening crunch of metal and my seatbelt locks into the safety position.

The airbag inflates suddenly, forcing my head into the newly rearranged doorframe.

The coppery tang of blood in my mouth; a hot, metallic smell hanging in the air.

A sudden, deafening silence broken only by the ticking of engines.

And then nothing.

~xxXxx~

“Help me!”

I heard a scream as I bolted upright in bed, gasping painfully for air and sobbing.

Warm arms hugged me tight as I choked out the details of the dream, reliving it for the first time since the crash. The fear sent adrenalin coursing through me, my body shaking and sweating through the ordeal and I felt Carlisle stroke my back in comfort, rocking me ever so slightly and kissing my hair, telling me to let it out, just let it all out.

When I calmed, I turned to look at the small clock on the nightstand – 3.10am.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Shh. Don’t apologise for a bad dream. This is your memory sorting things out; you’re healing. It’s a huge leap forward, my love. Now – try to sleep, come lie back down.”

Resting my head on his chest, I breathed in the scent of him and closed my eyes, his arms keeping me close and safe.

~xxXxx~

When I woke much later, I was curled into Carlisle’s body, wrapped around him like a second skin. His hand idly stroked my arm and, when I raised my head, I saw him smiling at me.

“Good morning,” he said, dipping his face to mine and capturing my mouth in a kiss before nuzzling my nose with his. “How did you sleep? Better?”

“I think so; I don’t remember any more dreams. I can’t believe I remembered the crash. Now I understand why Emmett said my car was totalled; the door frame was all the way over my seat when I hit my head.”

Looking at him I saw his jaw tighten as worry flitted across his face, even though the accident was old news to him. “Thank you for staying last night. I don’t know how I would have coped if you hadn’t been here.” I frowned, hoping I didn’t sound needy.

“I’m here because you asked me to stay, and because honestly, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

As I shifted position against him his hand slid down, now stroking my waist and hip. I was conscious of my morning wood, his hand so close he would most likely be brushing against it if I moved so much as a fraction more. The thought of his hand on my erection only made me harder, and it threatened to burst free over the top of my underwear. I wondered if he was in the same predicament. With my arm draped over him I started to mimic his actions, my thumb tracing circles over his abs and around his bellybutton, running the back of my hand over his stomach, feeling the trail of hair that hinted at what lay below.

I suddenly wanted to see, no question in my mind. I wanted to make him feel good and show him how much he meant to me at the same time. Pushing myself up the bed I captured his mouth, kissing him with a hunger that I couldn’t control. I heard his harsh intake of breath as my cock grazed the inside of his hip, alerting him to my intentions, his hand moving to grip my ass and hold me there. My hand slid south and met first with the already damp waistband of his underwear, before encountering his swollen cock. I slid my fingers teasingly up and down either side of him before gripping and massaging him through the fabric, his hips bucking a little into my hand.

Pulling my lips away from his, I breathed hotly into his ear,

“This is what I wanted last night in the car, to have you literally in the palm of my hand. I hope you’ve no objections now?” I chuckled at his moan; my hand found its way under the elastic and I was finally feeling warm, eager flesh that was mine for the taking.

Kissing my way down his chest, I pushed aside the covers and worked my way across the smooth planes of his abdomen to where my hand still grasped his magnificence beneath the cotton. With my free hand I slid down his underwear and gave myself full access to the prize. Seeing him naked for the first time was a revelation. His body was toned and defined, his cock straight as a die, the head sitting proudly like a crown. Instinctively, my fingers gripped him how I liked to be held, moving smoothly up and down, brushing the underside of the head on each upstroke. His gasps spurred me on, and the realisation that I wanted to taste him came as no surprise. I had fantasised about this man for so long that the desire to experience the unknown overrode my natural hesitancy. I leaned in and lightly licked his balls, hearing his raspy intake of breath as I dragged my tongue over the firm globes. Taking one in my mouth I sucked it gently, my tongue bathing it in warm wetness before releasing it and lavishing the same attention on the other.

Carlisle’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, his moans exquisite. I stilled my hand on his straining erection, moving to lick along his length experimentally. Looking up, I met his hooded eyes as I allowed my tongue to swirl across his head, sweeping up the pre come that had gathered there and tasting the salty flavour of him as I did so.

My lips captured the engorged head of his cock and I took him into my mouth, my hand sliding down to the base holding him steady as I enveloped him, my tongue caressing his shaft as I sank down as far as I could.

Had I done this before? It felt... familiar.

I assumed I must have as, judging by his moans, Carlisle was certainly having a good time. I watched his stomach muscles flutter as I bobbed my head up and down his swollen shaft, my hand now working in tandem with my mouth and lips, keeping up a steady rhythm.

“Edward... oh god, Edward...”

Hearing my name drop from his lips only fed my desperation to please him. His guttural groans increased in volume as I felt him harden still further. Taking as much of him in my mouth as possible, I slid my free hand across the bed to where his fingers were bunching the sheet. His head had fallen back, his neck arched against the pillow as his breath came in heaving gasps. When my fingers found his he gripped them tightly, lifting his head to meet my eyes. His neck and chest were flushed, his eyes dark, his hips gently thrusting up into my mouth as I worked to push him over the edge into blissful ecstasy. Concentrating only on the sensitive head of his cock I mouthed it, fluttering my tongue against the underside, watching him until his face contorted and he stopped breathing for a second before a scream of release tore from him.

I swallowed his come as best I could, surprised by the quantity that he was able to produce. As his spasms slowed I was able to clean up the overspill, wiping my mouth before crawling up the bed and kissing my favourite spot on his neck, feeling the heat of his blood just beneath the surface.

He turned his head to face me.

“Unbelievable.” Rolling me over onto my back he pressed his mouth to mine, and I felt the blood thrum through my body with every flick of his tongue. His hand slid down to my aching erection, already wet from my copious leakage.

“I won’t last long,” I warned him, as his hand closed around my length and began gliding up and down in a maddeningly slow rhythm. I felt my balls tighten and tried to breathe slowly to delay the inevitable. Carlisle’s eyes never left mine, his breath hot against my mouth as his hand worked between our sweaty bodies. I was panting now, struggling to keep my eyes open and locked onto his. When I cried out helplessly, coming all over our stomachs, he captured my mouth, swallowing my cries of pleasure.

As I came down from my high, breathing heavily, he moved his weight off of me, resting his head on his hand as he looked down, smiling.

“Did you know the French have a saying for orgasms: ‘La petite mort’? It means ‘little death’; that moment of near unconsciousness when you come really hard. I definitely had one of those moments this morning.” He grinned at me, nuzzling his nose into mine. “Here’s hoping for a thousand more of them with you.”

I raised my eyebrow at him, looking deeply wounded. “Only a thousand? What will we be doing the rest of the time – knitting?”

He burst out laughing, and I laughed with him, wincing slightly at the sudden throb in my head.

Carlisle sat up, looking at me shrewdly.

“Does your head still hurt? It’s been a few days since the accident; have you only just started getting these headaches now?”

I paused, not wanting to admit the truth. When I saw he would not be put off, I exhaled hard.

“I’ve... been having headaches and the odd dizzy spell. I...it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Edward! Why haven’t you said anything about this?”

“Because I wanted us to be more than doctor and patient; I thought that you would revert to doctor mode and we’d be back to square one – no dates, definitely no sex. And I like that stuff.” I smiled wryly.

“Good to see that bump on the head didn’t knock any sense into you, then. Edward, you have concussion; no alcohol and absolutely no unnecessary exertion for the next few days and you’ll be fine. You need to rest up. No going to look at cars for a few days either – not unless Emmett test drives them for you.”

“So I can’t go back to work yet?” I knew Emmett would be okay and could cover my shifts, but I felt bad leaving him in the lurch like that. Plus, I needed to talk to him about the whole Lauren/Carlisle debacle. He was seriously out of the loop. I wondered how he would take the news that I was in love with a guy. It seemed a little wrong that I was considering telling Emmett when I hadn’t yet told Carlisle.

“Were you planning on going back this soon? I’m sure that wasn’t recommended when you checked out of hospital. Give yourself time to heal – talk to Emmett.”

He was right, of course. I guess my independent streak was strong; after all, I was used to working and looking after myself. But things can change, I reminded myself. I had a sudden thought.

“Does ‘no exertion’ mean no more sex?” I must’ve looked worried as he chuckled.

“I think what we’re doing is ok, but nothing more... strenuous, shall we say, until you are better. Just to be on the safe side.”

I swallowed hard, understanding his veiled reference immediately and feeling simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the same time. He was watching me closely.

“It’s only for a couple of days, and then we can explore further, if you want to. Now, how about we get cleaned up and go out for breakfast? Is there room for two in your shower?” His eyes sparkled with mischief.

Pushing myself up on my elbows, I pretended to think about it for a moment.

“Hmmm, it might be a bit of a squeeze, but if we stay close together we should fit.”

“Oh, I think that’ll work, don’t you?”

Sliding out of bed I turned, waiting for Carlisle to follow me, only to see him still laying there, his eyes predatory as they roved lazily over my naked body.

“Delicious,” he said, and goose bumps flared over my skin, my breath catching at the blatant suggestion in his voice.

“See something you like?” I challenged. “Well I’m off for a shower. Are you coming with...?” I laughed with childish delight when he flew out of bed and chased me out of the bedroom.

~xxXxx~

After a leisurely and very cosy shower, we dressed and made our way out to the little bistro across the street that served breakfasts. Over mouthfuls of pancakes, Carlisle made a suggestion.

“Why don’t you come and stay with me for a few days, just until you’re better.”

I automatically baulked at the suggestion, not meeting his eyes. I loved my independent life and, while having Carlisle in my home and my bed was perfection, I didn’t know if I could fit into his world, his life. I was self sufficient, having had to be growing up when mom worked long hours. The thought of living with someone, even for a short time, felt a little stifling. But then I thought back to how I had felt all those Wednesday nights when I went home alone after watching Carlisle leave the bar.

I am a walking contradiction. He’s not asking me to move in – it’s just for a couple of days. We’d probably drive each other crazy anyway if I stayed any longer than that. Our lives are so different; barman and doctor – how could that ever work?

As my self-doubt did battle with my pride, I realised Carlisle was speaking again.

“I can drive you anywhere you need to go, and make sure you eat. It’s important that you take it easy at the moment, Edward, and I just want to make sure that you’re okay. It’ll stop me worrying.”

My inner child railed. Don’t tell me what to do. I don’t need to be looked after. I put my fork down, having lost my appetite.

“Do you mind if I call Emmett? I really need to speak to him.”

He looked a little surprised at the change of subject, but rallied well.

“Sure, go ahead.”

I stood up and walked outside into the morning sun to call Emmett. He was up and working out, and sounded happy to hear my voice. I arranged to come over shortly to have a chat and he readily agreed. I walked back inside as I ended the call and, when I sat back down, Carlisle offered to drop me at Emm’s on his way home.

I paid for breakfast and we left, walking in uncomfortable silence out to the Mercedes, parked outside my building. I gave him the address and we drove to Emmett’s, the only sounds in the car that of our breathing. The atmosphere was strained, his unanswered question hanging in the air between us. Pulling up outside Emmett’s house, Carlisle looked despondent.

“Call me if you need a lift home?”

I nodded. “Emm will drop me home, no doubt. Can I call you later, anyway?”

He smiled, finally. “Please do, then I can relax. Remember, no alcohol, okay?”

“Yes, doc.” My mouth quirked into a slight smile.

I went to open the door, not knowing what else to do or say. His hand brushed mine and I squeezed it awkwardly, checking to see if Emmett was nearby. I’d rather tell him than show him, I decided. Not seeing him anywhere in the immediate vicinity I leaned over and kissed Carlisle with a smile before hopping out of the car. Watching him drive away, my thoughts were jumbled.

What the fuck is wrong with me? He’s perfect, he wants me, and I’m in love with him. Why am I holding back now?

Ringing the bell I waited for Emmett. Hearing his cheery bellow, I opened the door and yelled back:

“Just me, Emm!”

“Edward! Good to see ya, dude. How are you feeling?”

In true Emmett style, he threw an arm around me, clapping me on the shoulder.

“I’m okay, I think. I remembered the accident. Pretty brutal; no wonder the Subaru was a write-off. I’m definitely looking at getting a Volvo now.”

Emmett laughed. “So I can’t convince you to get a Jeep then? You wouldn’t regret it!”

I snorted my derision at that idea as we wandered through to his living room and sank into leather armchairs.

“Man, I forgot how nice these are.”

“So, Edward, what brings you here? Not that I’m not glad to see you. You remembered the accident, huh? Is that all that’s come back so far?”

“Yeah, so far. I’m hoping for more now the floodgates are open, so to speak. I need to know, Emm. It’s driving me crazy having these... gaps. That’s the main reason I came over. I need to tell you some stuff so you’ll understand what I mean, because my life as I remember it has changed somewhat in the last week or so.”

Emmett looked at me perceptively.

“Dude, you just got out of hospital yesterday. What the hell can have changed so much in so short a time? Problems with Lauren? She was acting a little weird in the hospital.”

I exhaled hard. Where to start?

“You have no idea.”

“So talk.”

“There’s something I never told you, before the accident I mean. On Wednesday nights this guy started coming to the bar. I didn’t recognise him and we didn’t talk, but I was ... attracted to him.”

Emmett’s eyebrows shot up into his hair and his eyes widened. I held up my hand when I saw him go to ask a question.

“Now, I have no memory of this yet but he and I somehow got together a couple of days before the crash.”

This time Emmett would not be denied.

“Got together? Edward, are you saying that you and he fu-”

I cut him off. “I think so, but, like I said, I don’t have any memory of that yet. He hasn’t given me any details; he says he wants me to remember in my own time.”

Emmett exhaled noisily, his knee jigging up and down. He was uncomfortable - I knew the signs.

“There’s more, Emm. Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah, I think so. Go on.” He twirled his finger in a circle.

“The thing is, when Lauren came to see me in the hospital she said that she and I had apparently done the same.”

“But isn’t that more likely, Ed? Really? I mean, this dude could be yanking your chain and just playing with you.”

“I don’t believe that. He and I have a... a connection I can’t explain. I just know it’s true. You yourself said in the hospital that it was a little odd I hadn’t told you about me and Lauren. Well, when I woke up in hospital and saw him, I recognised him straight away as the guy from the bar. He seemed so happy to see me, but then the nurses spoke to him and he disappeared. When he came by later he didn’t want to tell me anything, but I asked him outright if we were involved and he said yes.”

“He was at the hospital? Who is he?”

“Dr Cullen.”

“The old dude treating you?” Emmett looked horrified.

“No! No! The younger doctor - Rosalie’s friend. You must have seen him.”

“The tall, blond dude who visited you while I was there? He’s the one who kept me updated about you when you were in theatre. That whole night is a blur, what with the amount of that shitty coffee I drank.”

“That’s him. Well, Lauren came in later and started making a scene, crying and wailing that I had forgotten our first time. He came in and took her outside and that’s when I found out that Dr Cullen was...”

Emmett’s eyes widened suddenly.

“She called him ‘dad’! I remember that now! Edward – what the FUCK?”

I winced.

“I know, I know. It couldn’t really get much worse, huh?” I forced out a laugh, looking over at Emm who was utterly dumbstruck. He rubbed his hand over his face before resting it under his nose.

“Carlisle and I went on a date last night, and this morning we went a little further than that. It was incredible, Emm, far better than with any of the girls I’ve been out with. It was a deeper connection. I’m in love with him, and,” I shrugged, looking away as I felt my face go red, “I probably was before the accident.”

“Does he love you?” Emmett’s voice was low. “Because if he’s just leading you on, I’ll...”

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. I knew Emmett well enough to know that he would protect me like a brother.

“I’m sorry to lay all this on you, Emm, but you’re my friend and I need your advice. Apparently I have concussion and shouldn’t be left alone until I’m healed. Carlisle wants me to go stay at his place for a bit. I kind of freaked out in my head and didn’t answer right away; you know I’ve always lived alone. I don’t know how to live with someone else; having him stay at my place was comfortable, sort of my house, my rules. Anyhow, I didn’t answer him and now he’s acting really off, distant and strange.”

Emmett looked at me like I didn’t have two brain cells to rub together.

“Of course he is. He thinks you don’t want to, or you don’t trust him. If you are serious about this dude then you have to show him. He sounds as nervous as you are. Is he openly gay? Has he dated men before?”

“He told me in the hospital about a long term partner who passed away a few years ago. He’s been alone for a while now.”

“So this is his first relationship in quite a while, and with someone who usually dates women. Knock knock, Edward, see the problem here? Sounds to me like he’s terrified you’ll meet some gorgeous girl and realise that’s what you really want, leaving him heartbroken and alone again, feeling all used and spat out. He’s every bit as scared as you are. Plus he’s putting himself out there after having already lost someone he loved; losing someone else might be too much for him to cope with.”

He stared at the rug for a moment before looking directly at me.

“I cannot believe I’m saying this, but you need to tell him how you feel. If he makes you happy, and he’s what you want, he deserves to know.”

My mind spun. So help me, Emmett’s words made sense. Of course Carlisle wasn’t trying to control or (worse still) parent me. He had come close to losing someone he cared about, and now simply wanted to protect me. I remembered how his face had tightened when I told him about the crash; I had overlooked how terrified and helpless he must have felt just standing on the sidelines, unable to do his job, unable to help in any way.

He must have been going out of his mind. I am so fucking stupid.

Emmett left me to think for a minute, stepping out of the room to grab a couple of bottles of water. When he walked back in, supping from his bottle, he posed a valid question.

“What the fuck are you going to do about all this Lauren business?”

I took the bottle and cracked open the seal.

“Obviously Lauren’s pissed, and with good reason. I don’t remember sleeping with Carlisle, and I don’t know for sure that I didn’t sleep with her, so she’s playing games with me. She must have found out somehow; Carlisle knows the whole story, I’m just several paces behind.”

“How the hell can she have found out though? Do you reckon he told her? It’s not like she could walk in on you or anything, is it. Boy, seeing her dad having sex; wouldn’t that scar her for life.”

“No, she didn’t see anything, but her timing was impeccable.” I stopped dead.

Oh. My. God.

“But you said...”

I dragged my eyes up to Emmett’s startled ones. My voice came from far away.

“I tried to end it with both of them when I found out who they were. Oh shit, Oh shit. Carlisle told me to leave, but then later he rang me and came over to sort it out. He said he didn’t care, that he wanted to be with me.”

Doors were opening in my mind, pictures leaking out of each, the memories muddled and confused, not making complete sense, but they were there.

Carlisle waiting for me outside the bar...

Touching him for the first time...

Lauren telling me to stay away from him...

Making love to him in my bed...

My breathing faltered as that memory arose, pure and clear, the emotion around it overwhelming me.

Emmett looked at me worriedly as I laughed, even as a tear of happiness slid down my face. Wiping my face, I grinned at Emmett.

“I promise I’ll explain later, when I get it all straight in my head, but right now I need to go home and pack.”

Emmett grinned.

“Sounds like a plan, dude. Let me get my keys.”

Waiting for him, I shook my head in disbelief. I had almost let my head talk my heart out of what I wanted. Emmett reappeared, clutching his keys and I followed him out to the Jeep.

“So, are you going to tell me about Rosalie? Have you two had a chance to meet up yet?”

His smile broadened and I swear I saw a blush.

“Tonight. I used my contacts and got tickets to the Florence and the Machine gig. In the hospital Alice said they were Rose’s favourite, but that she’d not been able to get tickets. Hope she likes it.”

“You have told her you’re going too, right? You’re not just giving her the tickets so she can take Alice instead?”

“Ha ha, very funny! That only ever happened once, so let it go! I’ve arranged to pick her up and we’ll drive there – she has no idea where we’re going! Should be a great first date.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “First dates are pretty magical.” My smile was so wide I couldn’t even begin to control it.

Arriving home, I packed some clean clothes and essentials into an old sports bag, adding in my favourite books. If I was going to be resting, I needed something reassuring to read. Emmett looked at me as he stood in the doorway to my room.

“Dude, are you sure? I’m just checking.”

I zipped up the bag.

“Yeah, I really am. You okay to give me a ride?”

“Sure, anything to keep my bar staff happy.” I gave him a pointed look and he laughed unashamedly. “Talking of that, I’ve got you covered until you’re ready to come back. Just let me know, okay?”

“Thanks, Emm. Once I’ve got the all clear I’ll be back to work. I’m kind of missing it – I like the routine.”

“Just enjoy the break and get better. At least I’ll know you’re in good hands with Dr Cullen.”

I grinned wolfishly.

“Oh very good hands.” I winked.

We drove across town until the neighbourhood started to look familiar. I didn’t have the address, but I remembered the woods nearby, and soon we were pulling up outside his house. I lifted my bag from the back seat and turned to Emmett.

“Thanks, man. I owe you one for all this. Say hi to Rosalie for me – hope you guys have a great date and who knows; maybe we can all get together soon. Rose, Alice and Carlisle are great friends so should be easy to arrange if everything goes well. I know Carlisle wants to make sure you’re good enough for her.”

“Yeah yeah. Later, dude.”

As I walked toward the house I pulled out my phone and dialled Carlisle’s number, waiting for him to pick up.

“So, is it still ok for me to stay?”

“Of course!” He sounded so happy. “Do you need me to come pick you up?”

As he spoke I rang the doorbell, and heard him apologise.

“Someone’s at the door. Don’t go anywhere.”

As he opened the door, I answered him,

“Where would I go? Carlisle, I remember. I remember everything.”

His smile could have illuminated the city. As I kissed him, I heard the Jeep pull away.

~xxXxx~