Exciting news at the
end of this chapter - please read the author note!
Thanks to my beta, mxpi1970 and my pre reader,
Jasper1863Hale.
As always, all
characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.
~xxXxx~
CHAPTER 22
EPOV
Leaving my car behind for now, we travelled home in the
Mercedes. On the way I read mom’s letter, feeling the awkwardness behind her
words, the difficulty she must have felt to put her feelings down on paper. I
would phone her later and thank her for her sacrifice; it was the ultimate
proof of her love for me. Smiling, I folded it back into the envelope.
“Nice to see mom has put a veiled threat in there for you,”
I joked. Looking askance, I saw his lips twitch.
“Trust me, I didn’t miss that. But she has nothing to worry
about, Edward. Nothing.” His eyes flicked to me, and I felt myself flush with a
mix of love and shame.
At the time I had honestly believed that what I did had been
for the best. At no point had I considered that he would still want me, still need
me in his life. I had underestimated this wonderful man.
I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
Pulling up outside the house, he opened the garage door and
parked the car inside. As the door slid closed behind us, he switched off the
engine and turned to face me.
“We’ll fetch your car tomorrow. Right now I think we need
some time to make this right between us.”
Climbing out, he waited for me to follow before locking the
car and leading me inside and upstairs. Behind the closed bedroom door, his
hands found my face, his forehead resting against mine.
“Don’t do that to me again, Edward. I couldn’t bear it.
Losing you is unthinkable – you’re too important.”
I was alarmed to see his eyes shining with unshed tears of
relief and I pulled him close to me, murmuring in his ear.
“I’m so sorry. I panicked. I thought it was for the best,
that you wouldn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t face you sending me away so I
left before you came home. Cowardly I know, but I knew that if I saw you I
wouldn’t be able to go.”
He raised his head and I saw his lashes were dampened and
clumped. His expression was incredulous, his words bewildered.
“I wouldn’t want you?
How could I ever not want you?”
His lips found mine in a desperate kiss, a single sob
escaping his throat as he held me tightly to him. I was choked at the emotion
in that kiss and together we wept and kissed, pouring all the love we had into
each breathless, dizzying moment. When he finally pulled away, his brow
furrowed as he spoke, his eyes holding mine, drawing me into his soul.
“Never leave me again. Promise me?”
It was truly the easiest promise I ever made.
Our clothes hit the floor, our need for each other fuelled
by raw passion. The connection we shared in those moments was intense; becoming
one with him had never felt so right, so fulfilling. Our eyes never left each
other, our bodies striving to get closer, ever closer, pleasure magnified
tenfold by the sheer power of intimacy. I lost myself in his eyes; their depths
a swirling storm of lust as a force greater than us drove us onward in our
relentless pursuit of ecstasy. Over and over I filled him as he urged me on,
harder, faster. I watched his beautiful face contort as his body approached its
peak of pleasure. Not missing a stroke, I kissed him forcefully, feeling his
breathing strain before he tensed and cried out, his body racked with spasms as
he emptied in copious jets between our stomachs. The wondrous feel of his body
contracting around me was just the trigger I needed to tumble into the abyss after
him, collapsing exhausted and sated into each other’s loving arms.
This was my home.
He was my everything.
~xxXxx~
We slept, entangled, for over an hour, emotionally and
physically spent. I woke shivering, and reached for the covers, pulling them up
over us. Carlisle stirred, his eyes fluttering open, a smile creeping across
his face when he saw me.
“I hoped you weren’t a dream.”
My lips twitched.
“No, no dream.” I stroked his hair, wallowing in the sheer joy
of waking up next to him. How on earth had I thought I could cope without this?
I was a fool. “How are you feeling? About everything that happened today, I
mean. What happens to Lauren now? Is she home?”
His face dropped, and I hated this whole fucked up situation
that had stolen his happiness and left nothing but pain in its wake.
“No, no she’s not. She’s been admitted to psych for a full
evaluation. It’s highly likely she will be admitted for a while.”
I propped myself up on my elbow and gazed into his eyes.
“Poor Esme.”
He looked at me in surprise. I tried to explain.
“It must’ve been a terrible shock for her, the things that
Lauren hid from her, I mean.” I swallowed hard before speaking again. “She’s a
great mom and so to hear those things that Lauren said to me must have hurt.”
He leaned up and kissed me - a lingering, reassuring kiss to
soothe the frayed nerves. Pulling back, he looked deep into my eyes.
“You were amazing in there. Don’t you see? Without you
there, Lauren may not have opened up. By getting her mad at you, the whole
thing blew wide open. Now we can work on getting her well again.”
His palm rested on my cheek and I leaned into the comforting
gesture.
“Esme is grateful to you, Edward. Give her time and she’ll
tell you that to your face.”
I struggled with that idea, feeling it was far more likely
she would never speak to me again. In her shoes I don’t know if I could be so
magnanimous. But then, I wasn’t half the person Esme was; she wouldn’t have run
from her problems. Trying hard to think of more cheerful topics, I posed
another question.
“How do you know for sure that either Esme or Emmett had
anything to with mom’s decision? Well, okay, I know Emmett said he tried to
reason with her after the party, but Esme?”
He chuckled then, the sound music to my ears.
“All she would say is that she showed your mom the error of
her ways. I couldn’t get anything more out of her.”
My eyes widened.
“I think I might know...”
I told them about the whisper I had heard in the kitchen,
and together we agreed that we must’ve been seen by one or both of them. I was
relieved that mom was okay with it, that she hadn’t tried to change me back
into something I no longer wanted to be.
“She must’ve seen how happy we are,” I mused, almost to
myself.
With his lips against my ear, his voice was gentle, barely
above a whisper.
“And always will be, my love.”
~xxXxx~
The following morning we returned to Emmett’s for my car.
Agreeing to meet Carlisle at home, I contemplated just taking the car and
leaving, but I knew that Emm was home and I had to see him and apologise. They
must’ve been watching out for me, as Rosalie answered the door immediately, a scowl
on her face. I looked suitably cowed, and she stepped aside to let me in.
“Don’t worry us like that again!” Her tone was fierce as she
turned to face me. I shrank back in surprise.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t...”
“You didn’t think, that’s
the problem! You assumed, didn’t you? You assumed he wouldn’t want you. Emmett
filled me in on what happened and that you left Carlisle a note. You didn’t even want to talk to him first? You didn’t think
you owed him that much?”
Swallowing hard, red in the face with shame, I couldn’t
answer her. I had heard about Rosalie’s temper – I just didn’t think I’d ever
be on the receiving end.
“Rosie, that’s enough now. He knows he was an idiot.”
Emmett appeared in the hallway, a welcome intervention at
that moment. I smiled at him, and he shook his head at me before pulling me
into a one-armed hug.
“Is it all sorted now? Are you and the doc okay?”
“Better than okay.
And yes, Rosalie, I was stupid and thoughtless. In my defence I felt it was for
the best. Carlisle set me right on that one, and Lauren will be okay. Well, she
has to stay in hospital for a little while, but she’s going to be fine.”
Emmett looked concerned and I filled him in on the details
he had missed since I had arrived at his home unannounced. He whistled long and
low.
“Poor kid. She’s pretty messed up. Those girls... I knew she
was getting a hard time, especially after they saw you and the doc in the bar.
I’m just glad for her sake she’s not pregnant; she’s had enough to deal with.”
I nodded in total agreement. We sat and talked, Rosalie making
fresh coffee for all of us before joining us at the kitchen table. I turned to
her.
“Have you spoken to Alice about this?”
She shook her head.
“I heard about all this last night from Emm. Alice and I, we
tend to work the same shifts, but weren’t on last night so I haven’t seen her.
I’ll keep her updated. Look, I’m sure Carlisle will be okay, Edward, but you
know we’ll keep an eye on him to make sure.”
“Thanks, I’d appreciate it. I worry enough about him. Oh...”
She looked at me in surprise. I smiled.
“How are Alice and Jasper getting along? Has she said
anything since he moved into my old place?”
Rosalie’s grin was suspiciously like Emm’s whenever he had a
secret.
“You’ll have to ask her that! She hasn’t been home since
Sunday, and considering that she hasn’t stopped smiling since she met him, I
think they’re going good. Did you know that she and I share an apartment?”
I shook my head, frowning. I hadn’t known, but I had to
admit it now that it made sense.
“Well, it looks like I’ll be moving in here at some point
soon,” I watched Emm’s grin widen as she spoke, “and so she’ll most likely need
to move if she can’t find another roommate to split the rent. I don’t intend to
leave her in the lurch like that and I’ll help any way I can to get that sorted
before I move. Thing is, I think that Jas wants her to move somewhere close by.
Like really close if you get me.”
My mouth dropped open and Rosalie’s eyes sparkled. So many
whirlwind romances! Carlisle would be
thrilled when I told him that both his girls were taking a chance on love, each
making a life together with their special someones. Draining my coffee mug, I stood
and hugged them both before leaving, congratulating them on the upcoming move.
They promised a housewarming of sorts which I was definitely up for.
Carlisle was due at work in the morning, having eschewed the
right to additional leave. I knew it was because he felt he had more control
being there, being where Lauren was, even if he couldn’t be with her. I
understood that. They had bridges to build and I knew they could do it, given
time and patience, something my man had in spades.
But it meant that he would be home today. The smile spread
across my face. I would make today count.
~xxXxx~
Parking the car outside, I went in search of my man.
I found him in the garden, the grass soaking wet from the
heavy rain. I watched him tend the roses, clipping off the dead ones to keep
the garden tidy and beautiful. He didn’t see me at first, and I allowed myself
the voyeuristic pleasure of watching him bend and straighten, his talented
hands snipping away at the delicate, fragrant display.
My eyes roamed over his ass appreciatively. I was struck by the memory of an old 80s
movie that mom and I had watched when I was younger. What was that line again?
Oh yeah: ‘a head for business, and a bod
for sin.’
Never had sin looked and felt so good.
Sensing me, he turned and grinned, dropping me a wink as he
called to me.
“Like what you see?”
Fuck yes.
“You know I do.”
My eyes raked lazily down his body. He walked toward me and
my fogged mind saw it in slow motion, fixating on the wondrous distraction of
his legs and hips. My breathing was irregular just from watching him; by the
time he reached me I was leaning against the door frame, weak with need.
He knew.
Without a word spoken, he gazed at me, long and deep, before
leaning in, his nose brushing my neck, his lips pressing a kiss to my throat. I
gripped the door frame, my knees threatening to buckle when warm hands cupped
my face, tilting it to his.
The feel of his breath, the agonising wait for his mouth on
mine... oh, he knew.
I panted for air, seeing only him, wanting only him. His
hands cradling my face meant I couldn’t lean into him, couldn’t reach forward
and close that infinitesimal space between us where our hot breath coalesced.
He had me shaking, powerless, hypnotised.
His face hovered over mine, a heartbeat away, when his
tongue flickered over my lower lip. An involuntary, needy groan escaped my
throat, my tongue reaching for his. Seeing his prize, he captured it and kissed
me deeply, making my world spin. My arms found his neck, holding him close; my
tongue rejoiced in its fluttering dance with his.
My guttural groan vibrated through us both. He pulled back a
fraction and I was glad of the post behind me as my balance was a little rocky.
Smiling, a little sheepish at my loss of control, I widened
my eyes as I spoke.
“I think your tongue has magical powers.”
He quirked an eyebrow and my chest heaved at the inference
of the gesture. His voice was seductive, bordering on a purr.
“Hmmm. Where would you like my tongue, Edward?” Butterfly
kisses landed on the corners of my mouth and jaw, distracting me, clouding my
mind. I stuttered, my eyes beseeching, as I asked for what I needed.
“M-my ass; I want to feel your mouth there again.”
His hands went straight to my belt, unfastening both it and
my fly with practiced ease. Running the back of his fingers over my exposed and
straining erection, he chuckled.
“I think a little taste might be in order before I go in for
my prize.”
Before I could say a word, his soft lips caressed the head
of my aching cock, causing it to swell impossibly harder. Despite my craving
for more, I bucked into his mouth, sinking in deeper, seeking the pleasure of
his tight throat. He indulged me once, and I felt my balls tighten a fraction
in response to his swallow. He released me then, standing up and moving over to
the couch. Piling some cushions, he
motioned to me to lean over the arm and make myself comfortable. I obeyed,
knees shaky with arousal, and waited, my legs parted.
Like before, he caressed my cheeks, his thumbs parting them
to open me up to his attentions. His tongue caught me by surprise, starting at
the base of my balls and trailing upward a short distance. His warm breath on
my hole made me tremble and I held my breath until I felt the caress of his
tongue. My whimper of pleasure spurred him onward, and he lapped at my flesh, sweeping
the flat of his tongue directly over my hole before using just the tip to draw
circles around the furled muscle. I could feel my body relaxing even as I
pushed my ass back further in silent encouragement.
He feasted on me, his dextrous tongue breaching me and
stimulating my singing nerve endings. I was moaning constantly now, my cock
aching and wet where I was rubbing it rhythmically against the arm of the
couch.
Before I could lose all control, he eased me upright and bid
me lay down on the couch, my knees up. Kneeling on the carpet, he took pity on
my reddened, swollen shaft, sinking down deeply, just as a digit eased into my
relaxed and open ass. I shuddered and bucked my hips, feeling a second finger quickly
joining the first. When they started to pump in and out, I cried out helplessly,
the words nonsensical and garbled as the wave of heat rose within me.
My back arched, red spots blooming behind my eyelids as I
fell apart, convulsing inside his talented mouth and tightening around his
fingers. He took everything I had to give, and when I finally opened my eyes, it
was to see him watching me with a smile.
“Something tells me you really needed that.”
I flushed. “You’re incredible, you know that, right?”
He chuckled, eyes flashing with mischief. His laughter soon
turned to moans when I pushed him to the floor and proceeded to return the
favour with equal gusto.
~xxXxx~
Thursday morning dawned, and with it came Carlisle’s return
to work. Knowing he had Alice, Rose and Alistair made me more comfortable, and
I hoped that work would distract him enough to stop him fretting.
As for me, I had one stop to make before I started my shift
at the bar.
Standing outside, my hand wavered for a second before
knocking at the green door. When it opened, I saw her eyes widen slightly
before she stood back, silently inviting me into her home.
“Edward, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?” Her eyes
were kind, but I didn’t miss the swift glance to see if Carlisle were with me
before the door closed. I cleared my throat.
“Uhm, Esme, I wanted us to talk, to try and move past all
the recent upset and to lay the foundations of a friendship.” Despite our
relationships with Carlisle, I still felt as if I were addressing Lauren’s mom,
rather than another adult on an equal footing.
She looked at me for a moment and then surprised me with a
gentle smile. Turning, she walked into a lounge room, indicating an empty space
on the couch for me as she arranged herself neatly into what looked to be her
favourite armchair. There was an open book lying over the arm of the chair and
I wondered what she was reading. Scared I would lose my nerve at any moment, I
carried on speaking.
“You must... I mean I hope that you know none of this was
planned. Hurting Lauren the way I did, I feel so bad about that. More so in the
light of these last few days. I can’t excuse myself or my actions. I love
Carlisle, so much, but I couldn’t bear to see him in pain and so I thought it
best that I break things off with him, just remove myself from the equation and
let you all heal as a family...”
Her expression bordered on panic.
“No, Edward! You can’t do that! It will break Carlisle; he
needs you now...”
I exhaled hard, my cheeks puffing. My fingers tried to tie
themselves into anxious knots and I forced them to be still.
“Oh, believe me, I know that now. I made a fool of myself
and I didn’t think it through. Thankfully I have Emmett to tell me straight
when I’m being a total idiot. He’s very good at that. Carlisle came looking for
me last night and took me home, and I swear to you that I will never leave
again.” The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. “Esme, I know you’ve
never liked me and that’s okay.”
I looked up then, and saw eyes clouded with pain. Her voice
was low and uneven.
“Edward, what you did...”
“I know. I’ll apologise every day if it means you will
forgive me and accept me as part of Carlisle’s life. I-"
“No, Edward, no. What you did for Lauren in the hospital. It
was selfless and brave and I am so very grateful to you for that. The physician
taking care of her said that it was a positive step forward, Lauren being aware
of what happened, admitting it to herself. That wouldn’t have happened if you
hadn’t been there, if you hadn’t made her talk to you.” She looked away for a
moment, her hair hiding her eyes from me. It was something that Lauren used to
do. When she looked back, I could see she was trying to keep herself in check,
but her voice was cracked and telling.
“Edward, thank you. The doctor said that he has seen cases
like Lauren’s before when young people have crumbled under peer pressure and
made bad choices, the kinds of choices that have serious repercussions on both
their mental and physical health. For now, she is in the right place and is
getting the help she needs. Carlisle and I will endeavour to do whatever we can
when she comes home to help her rebuild herself. You have a part to play here too,
Edward.”
I looked at her questioningly. “Anything, Esme.”
“You are Carlisle’s
support, the person he turns to in times of crisis. Be there for him is all I
ask.”
I smiled, nodding in relief. “That I can do.”
Smoothing her skirt across her knees, she looked at me then
with what looked like amusement in her eyes.
“So tell me, have you heard from your mother since the
party?”
“As a matter of fact, I have. She gave the relationship her
tacit approval when I took her to the airport, even though I could tell she
struggled with it. But then a letter arrived yesterday, giving Carlisle her
blessing. We wondered what you might have said to her.”
She had the grace to blush.
“As I said to Carlisle, I simply showed her the error of her
ways. I can tell that you love Carlisle, and I know for a fact that he adores
you. All your friends can see it too. But your mom... well, let’s just say that
us moms take a little more convincing before we believe what’s right in front
of us. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I laughed self-consciously.
“Yes, I believe I do. And thank you for what you did. It
means the world to us.”
Rising to my feet, I stood awkwardly before turning for the
door.
“I have to go, my shift starts shortly. Thank you, Esme.
I’ll tell Carlisle we’ve made our peace.”
She gave me a genuine smile, standing and pulling me into a
hug, pushing up on her toes to do so.
“Consider the slate wiped clean.” Her voice was forgiving,
and I hugged her tightly for a moment in silent gratitude.
I left the house feeling like I had been absolved of my
sins.
It felt good.
~xxXxx~
4 WEEKS LATER
CPOV
Lauren was home from the hospital and starting down the road
to recovery.
The medical team were pleased with her progress after her two
week inpatient stay, and her meds were working well. Despite initial hostility,
I was visiting her at home each day before work and making sure that Esme kept
me updated. Any unusual behaviour needed to be monitored, and her meds then checked
if that eventuality arose.
Her pregnancy symptoms had gone and her sleep was less
disturbed. She still cried, but could now sleep through the night without
nightmares. Her mother reported that her appetite was starting to return, and
there was light behind her eyes again.
I myself had witnessed the improvement; baby steps, but all in
the right direction. She was attending her counselling sessions regularly and
the reports were good.
I was saddened that she still refused to see Edward, and therefore
by necessity my visits were made alone. He understood, but I knew that he
struggled with it. I had been so proud of him for clearing the air with Esme as
he hadn’t told me his plans. When he came back and told me what he had done, that
they had made their peace, I had been so proud of him for taking control of a
difficult situation. He told me that he hadn’t wanted her to feel obligated to
forgive him because of hers and my relationship. I respected that.
Since my return to work, I had been filled in on Alice and
Rosalie’s news. Rosalie had decided to delay moving in with Emmett for the time
being. It transpired that Jasper and Alice were spending every minute of their
limited spare time together, and in Rosalie’s opinion, they would be taking
their relationship to the next level pretty soon as Alice has already moved
some of her belongings to his apartment. As her best friend, she was prepared
to wait for the official announcement so that they could both move out
together. I had smiled at that; those girls were amazing and so deserving of
those two great guys. Emmett and Jasper had struck gold there and we all had
Edward to thank, in a roundabout kind of way, for our happiness.
Sitting in my office, I opened my laptop. It was my birthday
in eight weeks time, and I had a plan. Signing up to the website for alerts, I
fervently hoped the plan worked out because I knew that Edward would be
thrilled.
But, for now, I was keeping quiet.
With a secret smile, I packed my laptop away in its case.
Checking my watch, I saw my shift was over and switched my
white coat for my jacket.
I had a date with the handsome bar manager at McCarty’s.
~xxXxx~
A/N – So, I am proud to announce that my Edward has been
nominated for Best Edward in the Eclipse Awards, and LtF has been nominated for
Best Slash in the Wordsmith Awards! I am so thrilled that my readers have loved
both this story and my boys enough to nominate them again. My Jasper/Edward one
shot, Let the Rain Come Down, is also nominated in each round to my utter
delight.
Voting is currently open for the Eclipse Awards here:
Voting on the Wordsmith Awards opens 17th May
here:
I faithfully promise to try and get you the next update in
two weeks time.
Our journey is almost done.
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