Long Days, Hard Nights
So here we are, a year after the last update. I never abandon my stories as the characters are like family to me, but I certainly never planned for this to take so long. I can only offer my sincere apologies to all the fans of this little story that are still out there in reader-land. I do hope you like how it ends.
Rated M for slash.
Thank you to my beta, mxpi1970, for her ongoing support and friendship. Couldn’t do it without you, babe.
All characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, but the plot is my own.
~xxXxx~
JPOV
Looking at my sister’s stricken face, so very scared for me, I knew I couldn’t hide the truth from her. Sitting her down, I explained the attack and what the hospital tests had shown. The whole time Emmett held on tight to my hand, keeping me grounded and focused. I owed him so much that I had no idea of how I would repay him or even how to start.
I could tell that Alice wanted to hug me, to offer me comfort. Bracing myself, I let her throw her arms around my neck, holding me close, but so careful of my ribs. I kissed her forehead and smiled, letting her know I loved her.
Momma stood and looked over at my bags.
“Emmett, honey, could you give me a hand with those?”
I watched him leap to his feet, feeling the warmth of his hand leave mine. He gathered up all my bags and followed Momma up the stairs. Looking around, I realised that his were conspicuous in their absence. Making my way upstairs, I found the pair of them in my childhood bedroom.
“Emm – where are your bags? Did you leave ‘em in the car?”
Momma glanced at me and then at Emm; his eyes were downcast.
“Yeah, they’re outside. I was going to make sure you got inside safely and then...”
“And then what - go home? First up, you’re exhausted after the drive and second of all, I thought...”
Momma spoke up.
“Emmett, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. We have room and we’d be honoured to have you as our guest.”
I saw him battle with this before deciding.
“That’s very kind of you, Lucille. I’d be glad to stay for tonight.”
“Then go get your things, honey, and let’s say no more about it. You’ll stay in here with Jasper? If not, there’s a spare room down the hall.”
I grinned then, my voice bright as I sought out Emmett’s gaze.
“He’s staying with me, I hope.”
His expression was fathomless, his voice gruff.
“Of course I will. Don’t want you hurting yourself in the night.”
Momma smiled and turned to leave; the door snicked closed and we were alone again. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt nervous which was crazy – after all, we’d been alone together for weeks now.
Say it. Don’t be a fool.
I sucked in a shaky breath and Emm looked at me, concern in his beautiful eyes.
“You okay, Jas?”
“I’m not sure.” My voice choked on the words trapped in my throat, strangled by my nerves.
“What’s wrong? Is it your chest?” I saw the worry etched into his features.
“Emm...” I cleared my dry throat. I looked up at him in time to see his face fall, all hope lost.
No! Emm, no!
“It’s okay – I’ll stay tonight and return the rental to the airport tomorrow.”
I shook my head. Finding my feet, I walked the two steps it took to reach him, his head hung in defeat. My hand slid up his forearm, my fingers toying with the worn sleeve. I took a steadying breath.
“Emmett? I won’t be the one to leave - not this time.”
His head jerked upward, about to speak. I stopped him, my words escaping me in little more than a rapid-fire, hoarse exhalation.
“What I mean is... I want to be close to you all the time. I don’t want you to be a plane ride away. It’s too far. I need you closer than that. Much closer.”
His breathing quickened. I ground out the words I needed to say, what I needed him to understand, no matter what the final outcome. I had to say it and it had to be now.
“I knew when I left that last time that I wanted more, but I didn’t feel it was my right to ask for it. I mean, I had so little to offer you, some strugglin’ musician on the road for months at a time. It would be selfish and unfair to you, but...” My words caught in my throat, forming a barrier I couldn’t breach. My eyes pleaded with him for understanding, to see where I was going with this.
“You wanted more?” His stunned expression buoyed my spirits. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “But you never gave me your number...”
“I regretted that every damn day. The longer I left it, the more I convinced myself that we had no future and that it was best to try and forget about you.”
“But you told your mom and sister - why would you do that?”
“I was too happy to hold it in. Plus they can read me like a kid’s picture book. They guessed I’d met someone – I just confirmed it.” I grinned then at the memory. “And they appear to like you.”
“Well, your sister wants details about how we met...” His eyes flickered, a lopsided smile lifting his cheek.
“She’ll have to be satisfied with edited highlights. Emm, I’m not leavin’ again and I don’t want you to either, but I deserve it if you want to go. You’ve gone above and beyond these last few weeks and I haven’t made it easy on you. I-”
He interrupted me.
“I’d do it all over if you asked me to.” His fingers covered mine, still toying with his sleeve. “I don’t want to leave, Jas. I want more for us, I do, but only if we can find a way to make this, us, work.” I saw hopelessness in his eyes and decided not to draw attention to it.
“Then show me you want me.”
I leaned in and kissed him, ignoring the sharp pain in my chest when my muscles complained at the stretch. For a moment I thought he was going to stop me, until his warm hands cupped my face, holding my lips against his. He kissed me as if I would break, gentle and tender, and I knew he was holding back. I was filled with the fear that he meant to leave me for good no matter what I told him, to protect himself from further pain if we got in too deep.
Watching him leave the room to fetch his bags, it hit me how it must have felt for him to watch me walk away.
Twice.
I didn’t like how it felt at all.
~xxXxx~
EmPOV
I stayed. How could I not?
Over the days that followed, I answered his family’s endless questions and insisted on helping Lucille wherever I could to pay my way. The rest of my time was spent with Jas, but the atmosphere was less intimate, and I wondered deep down if I was really needed now that he had his momma and Alice wanting to help him. We slept together in his bed and I craved the contact with him, but I missed our time alone when we could be open and honest with each other about every aspect of our lives. Although the family gave us our privacy, the house was small and we were not able to be together physically during our stay. Having to hold back from the familiarity we had nurtured, the intimacy we had taken for granted, I noticed that he grew quieter as the days passed. I worried that my continuing to stay was for my own selfish reasons and not because he wanted me to.
Lucille could be a bit overbearing and, though she meant well, was inclined to smother you with affection until you struggled to breathe. Alice was a darling, the little sister I never had, and I knew I would miss her cheerful chatter. Their father was away and I had not gotten to meet him during my stay. Alice had told me that he was a salesman, working away from home for sometimes months at a time, and wasn’t due back for a while. In some ways I loved this temporary family I had become part of, but I knew the time was coming when I had to leave, and I found myself pulling back a fraction in preparation to make the break.
The day he picked up his guitar again I could have cried with happiness. His wonderful voice, so gravelly yet sultry, rocked me to the bone. He played with such joy that it made my heart sing. After that, it was the overdue reunion with the Confederates and the new schedule of gigs to replace those cancelled at such short notice. They were scared the fans would have left them, moved on after Jasper’s necessary period of recuperation. They had no worries there; their first gig was a sell out, as was the remainder of their tour.
There had been no word from the agent that had wanted to sign them and I knew the boys had given up hope on that for now. They planned to spend the fall writing new material and hoping to get spotted again the following year. It was a shock when a knock came at the door of the makeshift changing room after a local ‘welcome back’ gig. Jasper told me that night that they had all sat there dumbly, listening to him talk about their futures and their inevitable rise to fame, just like I had always known. Afterward, I had sat and listened to them chatter, making plans for their new start, wanting nothing more than to reach across the chasm and take his hand, to feel there was still a place for me.
Seeing his happiness made me feel a myriad of emotion. The knowledge that he was poised on the cusp of greatness made me feel such pride for him and the guys. The realisation that my words to him back in that motel room would most likely come true made my heart break; I had to be honest and face the fact that I would only be in the way once they made it big. In a world of fame, television appearances and live shows, where on earth did a simple mechanic fit in? The band members were amazing, all so open and welcoming, but they all thought I was Jasper’s friend, the guy who supported and protected him when he needed it most. There was no way we could even try and have a relationship once they hit the big time. Anyone they dated would be hounded by the press; he would be outed in no time at all.
It had to be his choice to come out to his band mates. If he could do that, then just maybe they could accept me into their tight circle.
I sighed.
There was nothing I could do; the ball was in his court now and the clock was ticking.
~xxXxx~
Four weeks after we arrived in Texas, we went for a walk to talk out of earshot of well-meaning ears.
A blanket tucked under his arm, he led me along quiet, dusty roads away from the town to an old childhood haunt of his. When I saw the den, all overgrown yet a place of complete tranquillity, I understood why he had brought me here. No one would hear us - the words we needed to say would be private, but no less painful. A huge, uprooted tree lying nearby acted as a barrier to the outside world. He spread the blanket out and sat down, patting the space next to him. I knelt, took a breath and said the words I knew would cut me to shreds inside.
“I have to go back home.”
His face crumpled, his fingers tensing and releasing as he processed my words. I pressed on, making the cuts fast and deep to not prolong the pain.
“Jas, my business needs attention. I have to go back - I need to make some money and hopefully my customers will still be there. I only brought one bag with me as I had no idea at the time how much to bring or how long I would be staying. This wasn’t meant to be forever, it was meant to be a visit, a chance to see you again...”
“And now you’ve had enough of nursemaidin’ me and want your old life back again. I don’t suppose I blame you. This wasn’t what you signed on for when you came, was it.”
I tried to be strong, to say what needed to be said for both our sakes.
“Jas, you have a life, a career, that’s light years away from me and my life. What you want now, here, is going to change when you guys go back on the road. Your life will be touring, playing sold-out arenas and recording the first of many multi-platinum albums. That’s your world, where you belong. Me? I belong back in Ohio, fixing cars and–“
“And rescuin’ strangers?”
His voice was wry, the underlying tone bitter. I shook my head.
“I’m setting you free to live your life the way you’re meant to. We both know this can never work – we’re too different.”
“How about if I tell the boys about me - about us? I don’t want to hide anymore, Emmett. I want to tell them tonight, to explain who I really am and hope they accept it. They like you and it may come as a surprise, but hopefully not a shock. They know that you’ve been stayin’ at my house, that you and me are tight. It’s time to come clean.”
“That’s your decision, Jas. All this time you’ve hidden who you are from your friends and only now thinking of telling them. Why? Because I’m talking of leaving? You have to make that call. If I go, would you still come clean? Or would I be reading tabloid trash about you and some girl the minute you guys hit the big time?”
His face was ashen and I knew I’d gone too far.
“Hell, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
He nodded, swallowing hard. His words were pleading.
“Emm, it’s not about whether you stay or go now. It’s time, well overdue in fact like you say, but although I can tell them about me and my life, how much I tell them about you and me is up to you – it’s not just my life here.”
“Do you want me there when you talk to them or would that weird them out?”
He looked at me then, his hair flopping over his eyes. He pushed it back and my heart stuttered.
“I want you with me.” His hand reached for mine, and I took it. “Emm, this doesn’t have to be it for us, does it? I don’t want us to be over.”
“We can Skype, still see each other while you’re away. You can tell me about the shows and life on the road.” I smiled, wondering if we were just kidding ourselves despite my earlier hopes and dreams back at the motel.
“Every day?” His eyes held more hope that I could ever have deserved.
“Sure we can. That’s if you can get time away on your own. I mean, webcams have other uses too...”
“I’ll insist on having my own room.” His eyes sparkled for a moment and then dulled, the light extinguished. “When are you planning on going?”
“Soon; your next gig is next week isn’t it? You’ll need rehearsal time with the guys before you head out on the rest of the tour. If I go, you’ll have nothing else to distract you from your work.” I tried to make light of it, but knowing I was leaving him ripped a gaping hole in my chest. The thought of just one day without him was unbearable.
He nodded, disconsolate.
“I’m gonna miss you so much. I’m sorry we haven’t had any alone time. I can’t ask Momma to leave her own house so we can relax and be together properly again, but hell, it’s been so long.”
“It has.” In truth, my body ached for him every damn day. Circumstances had made sure we couldn’t make love in the way we wanted, and now time was against us too. I wondered if I would ever again know how incredible it felt to be joined with Jasper in the most primal of ways.
“I don’t know if this is too late, but I can’t let you leave without-” He choked, his words hanging.
My hand rose to cup his cheek, remembering how he’d looked in that motel room, how broken and helpless. Now I saw two beautiful, clear eyes and just the palest tinge of bruising, his bright light chasing away the shadows at last. I leaned in to kiss him, wanting nothing more than his touch, his lips, his heart. The kiss deepened, speaking of passion, loss and hope; I never wanted it to end. He broke it, panting, a hand on my neck to keep me close, his face a mask of raw agony.
“I love you.”
I looked into his soul and knew the words were truth. The pain spoke volumes.
“And I love you, Jas. I’ve been yours since our first night together.”
“What happens now?”
I looked around us, at the quiet splendour of the trees with the barest hint of a breeze ruffling their leaves to break the silence.
“Now you make love to me.”
“Here?” His eyebrows rose.
“You kids made this place your den because adults didn’t come here, right?”
He gave a slow nod.
“Then yes – here.”
My lips found his and it felt like coming home. Not stopping, save to draw breath, our clothes were shed, our jeans thrown over the fallen tree, our shirts still on, but opened. Jasper pressed me down against the blanket. He took his time, using his tongue to worship every inch of my body until my cock was aching and wet. I tried to reciprocate, but he pushed me down and carried on until I was writhing with need, my tight, muscular entrance relaxed and welcoming to his teasing tongue and fingers.
A frantic search of pockets revealed nothing but gum, cell phones and small change. We groaned with frustration; neither of us had anticipated this outcome when we left the house.
“I’m sorry, Emm.”
I silenced him with another kiss, holding his body flush to mine.
“I have an idea.”
His eyes were questioning, but he listened to me. Looking deep into my eyes, he spoke in a breathless whisper.
“I’ve never been with anyone without a condom before, Emm. Are you sure?”
I nodded.
“Ok then. Let’s try it your way, but you have to tell me if you want me to stop.”
I could only nod for his kiss was heated and hungry, betraying his need to be as powerful as my own. My arousal was escalating apace, my body crying out for his at long last. His hand gripped me, hot and tight, and massaged my wet cock with firm strokes until I gasped and cried out, every muscle tensed until I came in hot spurts into his cupped hand.
Without waiting, he spread my essence onto his cock, pushing wet fingers back inside me, waiting for my spasms to cease and my body to accept him. Gentle scissoring spread my come inside my body, enabling Jasper to slip his cock through my muscle, my residual orgasmic tremors fluttering around his length. I had forgotten how wonderful it felt to be full of Jasper, to feel him fill me, possess me - own me. I was his, no matter what happened in our futures. I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone more.
Jas whimpered before he had even begun to move, my shaking body welcoming and clasping him in a lover’s embrace. Briefly sated, I came alive again with the force of his thrusts, so gentle at first, anxiously checking my face for discomfort. I urged him on, needing this and reading the same desire reflected back in his ravenous eyes. I felt my cock twitch and fill, each shallow push nudging against my sensitive walls and sending rhythmic pulses of pleasure through my body.
“Emmett, Emmett... oh god... you feel so fuckin’ good...”
I clung to him, riding the wave of heat that burned through me, urging him deeper, wanting every bit of him inside me. My hands held his firm ass cheeks, the muscles contracting and dimpling with each thrust into my aching body.
“Jas... oh fuck...fuck....” I grunted in ecstasy, feeling my cock swell and weep, knowing with absolute certainty that I would come again under his expert attentions.
His face was contorted, mouth open, his body striving for release. I watched his jaw stiffen, the cords in his neck tighten, and I squeezed his cock as tight as I could.
“I can’t hold on, Emmett... coming... fuck yes... “
I urged him on and for a second he pounded me into the blanket before stilling and crying out, his orgasm taking him over completely. For the first time in my life, I felt him come inside me, forever marking me as his. He rode me for a moment more, pressing into my body and stroking where I needed it most. My face was in his neck when I gasped and shuddered, my second orgasm tearing through me and leaving me exhausted and replete, the evidence of my pleasure pooling between our stomachs.
We lay together looking up at the trees, the air drying our sweat-soaked bodies. It was Jasper who finally spoke.
“You always believed in me. Right from the start, you believed the Confederates could make it some day. You were so sure.”
I kissed his neck where it curved to meet his chin.
“I was right, wasn’t I?”
“I’ve never had that before; someone to really believe in me, I mean.” He pushed himself up on his elbow. “Sure, my family love me and support me, but no one outside of that ever truly thought I could make it. Yet you did.”
“Maybe I just fell hard for the lead singer and became a groupie.” He smiled at that. “Or maybe I know talent when I see it. I’m so proud of you for following your dream, Jas, despite everything that’s happened. You’re the bravest person I know.”
He fell silent.
“Did Edward never support your dream?”
I don’t know why I asked it, but somehow it seemed important. He turned in surprise.
“You remember his name? Wow – you really do listen when I talk, don’t you.” His smile lifted the corner of his lips. “No, he thought it was a pipe dream and I should get a proper job. He never really understood how much it meant to me to have a career in music.”
“What exactly did you see in him again?”
He chuckled then.
“I can’t remember now.”
Leaning in, I slipped my fingers into his dirty blond curls and brushed my lips against his, hearing the contented rumble in his throat. I savoured the sound knowing I would never be able to get enough. When I pulled back to nuzzle his cheek, he spoke, his words heavy yet knowing.
“You’re still leavin', aren’t you.” He didn’t wait for an answer, a tone of finality in his voice, his face pressed against my shoulder. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”
I held him close, not wanting to move, knowing too well that leaving this intimate place would break the spell.
“I know the feeling.”
~xxXxx~
A month later
JPOV
“How long is this gonna take?”
The bellow from the bus was impatient, the boys fractious and antsy to get to that night’s hotel. Sleeping on the bus was all very well, but a proper bed was preferred by all when it was available. Plus, you know, a hot breakfast that didn’t come from a microwaveable carton.
I heard Paul answer.
“Chill, Sam – we’ll be movin’ soon enough.”
Grumbles came from the open windows, the temperature still in the high twenties despite the late hour. The lack of air con on the bus was clearly proving to be an issue.
“Well tell him to get a fuckin’ move on. I’m cookin’ in here.”
“We all are, Sam! Shut your pie hole!” In his usual eloquent style, Seth managed to raise a snigger from the other guys.
When the bus rumbled to life, the cool air once more filling the cabin, the cheers and whoops were jubilant. I jumped back on and reclaimed my seat, resting my head back in contentment.
“Yeah!” Paul turned, a smile spreading across his happy face. He turned and high fived the oily hand of our saviour. “Never doubted you, dude!”
Emmett grinned, wiping his hands clean as best he could.
“Let’s roll, boys!”
The driver revved the engine and we pulled out onto the quiet road, headed towards civilisation, a hot bath and food.
I reached for him, my beautiful, wonderful Emmett, and pulled him down onto the seat with me. We didn’t make out around the guys, but I still caught the comedic eye rolls when they saw our happy grins, our obvious affection for each other impossible to hide.
How far we’d come.
The days after he left Texas were the loneliest I’d ever known. We’d talked every day and he’d told me his plans for the future, testing the water to see how I felt about them. I had been overjoyed when he told that he’d found a local buyer for his business and that he wanted to join us on the road. I’d already sat the guys down and spoken to them after he’d left, explaining to them that I was gay and in love with someone I missed everyday.
I swear that Seth had gotten teary, throwing an arm around my shoulders in support when I told them about Emmett and how much I cared for him. I had expected... what? Resistance? Disgust? I got neither. They had all met Emmett many times and gotten on well. Paul had slapped my shoulder and smiled, simply smiled. I guess he had always had his suspicions from those days back at that motel. He wasn’t so easy to fool. Jared had shrugged. And as for Sam? Big, butch Sam, with an opinion on everything, had shocked me the most.
“We need you in top form. If he’s who you want, then he should be here.”
Simple as that. My friends had accepted me, the real me. I should never have doubted them.
I discussed the deal with Emmett after the boys and I had sorted it all out. Emmett was to be our roadie and mechanic – his easygoing nature and physical strength would be a blessing when we were on the road.
When Emmett’s business deal had completed, he’d packed up and moved all his stuff into my tiny, rented apartment. I’d sold the trailer now that we were building a name for ourselves, but I’d yet to find a good place to settle in. For now, Emmett and I would be nomads, travelling on the tour bus across America with the band. Once the tour was over, we planned to find somewhere to live and build a proper life for ourselves.
He was it, and I was sure-as-hell never letting him go again.
With the man I loved by my side, Jasper Whitlock would need rescuin' no more.
~The End~
No comments:
Post a Comment