Let the Rain Come Down - ch3

Brief chapter note: I did a lot of research for this storyline and I have had to take some liberties with the community kitchen section. Apologies if I am completely wrong, but it fits what I needed for this chapter.

 Disclaimer: All characters owned and created by Stephenie Meyer.

~o.O.o~

Chapter 3

Edward’s POV

Morning dawned cold and damp. Running back from the bathroom, I all but leapt back into the warm bed, helping Jasper back under the covers.

“There has to be a way to make money – something we’re missing.”

My brain was scrolling through potential ideas, disregarding them for varied reasons. We had no internet – not even a phone line – which ruled out many options. Then I had one idea.

“What about soda cans and bottles? They pay for those, don’t they?”

Jasper looked doubtful.

“No idea if there’s even a collection facility near here. Plus – how are we going to get them there if we find one?”

My spirits sank. He was right.

Breakfast was an apple and half of the burger bun. Jasper was pale and shivery, his chest sounding horrendous. I tried to sound calm, but the first tendrils of panic were invading my brain.

He needs a doctor and we have no money.

Wrapping up in extra layers, I made him a drink to have during the day and set off. My first stop was to find the soup kitchen place that Tony had told me about. Food was crucial and any money that could be saved could be used to buy medicine for Jasper’s cough. If it was all I could do, I would do that. Heading across town, I looked around for any other opportunities for work. At least I looked clean and smart, as long as they didn’t look at my boots that were decidedly worse for wear. I was going to need new ones before the snow came if I didn’t want cold, wet feet every day.

After a 20 minute walk, I found the place Tony had mentioned. There was a sign on the community notice board that told me this was the right place. It was held every week and the next one was in two days’ time.

No matter what, I was coming to that.

On the sidewalk a woman approached, stopping to watch me read the notice.

“Do you need any help? I’m a volunteer here.”

I jumped and began to back away, but stopped myself. Then she surprised me.

“Edward?”

I started, then realisation dawned.

“Uhhm, yes. Hi again.” I pointed to the sign. “The soup kitchen? Do-do you have to be able to come to get food or could someone else collect it?”

Esme looked baffled.

“I’m sorry. I-I…” I swallowed hard. “My friend is sick and we make almost no money at the moment. I have work for one hour a day and can’t feed us both. He needs food to get well. If I came, could I take him food or does he have to be well enough to come?”

She smiled then.

“Do you want a cup of coffee? I’m just going in and it’s warmer in there. You can tell me about your situation.”

I froze. Jas wouldn’t want me talking to strangers about us, but on the other hand we needed help, and fast, if we were going to make it through the winter. Decision made, I nodded. Esme smiled again, her eyes kind. I liked her.

The coffee was strong and sweet and I drank two cups. I told her enough about us, but kept details out of it. She had no business knowing we were together, or what Jas did for a living. I had a feeling we might be turned away if they knew that.

She looked concerned.

“You’re both living on what? Five dollars a day? So what are you eating now – the dollar menu at McDonalds?”

I shook my head. “Jas won’t eat that. He eats properly. We buy bruised fruit and vegetables, sometimes a little meat or cheese. Not often, though - it’s expensive.”

Her eyebrows were in her hair.

“He cooks rather than eating convenience food? I’m impressed. And he’s right – there’s no nutritional value in junk food. He sounds smart.”

My lips twitched, my face brightening.

“He is, and he takes care of us. I do my bit where I can. It’s hard, though. We want to keep a roof over our heads, but with him sick we are struggling just to make rent.”

Her fingers splayed out around her mug.

“Well that explains you running yourself ragged at the market. What does Jasper do when he’s not sick?”

I coloured, heat rushing to my face.

“He does what he has to. I don’t like it, I worry about him, but he is honest and earns his money the only way he can.”

She looked at me long and hard, and I saw her face change. She had worked it out. Then her hand reached out and covered mine.

“I won’t ask for details, but promise me he’s safe and gets tested?”

I wanted to cry then. Someone cared about him enough to check on his wellbeing. This was new. His customers didn’t give a damn so long as he put out. I felt Jasper’s shame for him, my head lowered.

“He is.”

“And you?”

Startled, my head shot up.

“I don’t do that. He wouldn’t let me.”

The relief on her face was instant.

“Good, but I meant that the two of you are safe together? I can see how much you love him.”

“I do. I love him so much. He looks after me, but now it’s my turn to repay him.”

Unspeaking, her worried eyes asked the question again, waiting for my answer.

“We are together, but we haven’t done… that. I have some demons of my own. I’m trying to beat them. He loves me anyway. I don’t know why.”

“Edward,” she sighed. “Why ever do you question it? You have such a good heart. My Rosie is a good judge of character, you know."

“She’s beautiful. I had a dog once, a long time ago, at one of my foster homes. I missed him a lot when I had to leave. He was my friend. I wanted one of my own, but living on the street meant I couldn’t feed…”

I stopped dead, having already revealed too much. She was kind, but she didn’t need all the details of my life. Only Jasper knew all of me.

“You know, I thought about you when Rosie went to her sitter. Would you like to do something like that as a job? I know Tanya, the owner, and I could put in a good word for you. She might like to meet you.”

Dumbfounded, I stared at her.

“You’d do that?  For me?”

“You have a way with dogs, calm and gentle. She’d be a fool not to at least meet you. I make no promises though – she might not be interested.”

“That would be amazing – just the chance!” My soul sank a little then, returning to earth. 

“Anything to help Jas get well. I need to get him to a doctor, but money is non-existent.” My shoulders dropped. “Why is it so expensive to be sick?”

She pulled out a pen from her purse and an old envelope. Scribbling down an address, she handed it to me.

“Speak to these people. It’s a drop-in clinic and they see people down on their luck with no money.”

She didn’t say ‘homeless’ or ‘desperate’ and I silently thanked her. Taking it, I read it, mentally calculating the cost of the bus, and winced. Straightening up, I decided I’d do whatever it took – Jasper was seeing the doctor.

“Now, is there a number I can reach you on?” Her face was expectant, her eyebrows lifted.

“No, we don’t have one, but you can find me at the market every day. Just ask for me – the vendors all know me.”

She nodded, satisfied.

“Okay. I’ll come find you and let you know what she says.” Draining the last of her cooling coffee, she sat up straight.  “Well, the food here is usually soup or hot stew with a bread roll and some kind of sweet – cake or a cookie. Sometimes we do a full roast dinner. It’s whatever we can make with the donations.”

I felt bad then. Everything was donated, like the clothes I had stolen. I kept quiet about that.

“If you come with a container, I’ll make sure you get some food wrapped up for Jasper. You can eat yours here if you like, unless you would like yours wrapped too so you can eat together?”

She tilted her head, already guessing my answer.

“I’d rather eat with Jasper if that’s okay.”

“That’s no problem. Now, did you know about the food pantry over at the community kitchen?”

I blinked, not following.

“They can give you food parcels – enough ingredients to make a few basic meals, plus some toiletries. You’d definitely qualify for those. Lots of people use them to make ends meet. There’s no shame in it. I can give you directions if you’d like.”

My grateful smile was her answer.

Esme was an angel, heaven sent.

~o.O.o~

Heading off to the market, I thought about what Esme had said. She had also given me details of the other kitchen that I could go to so Jas and I could get two meals a week while we struggled to make rent. That meant a couple of days my sweeping-up dollars could go towards the bus fare to the clinic she had mentioned. I just needed to earn it first, assuming I got enough extra hours to pay for the rent. It felt hopeless, but I chastised myself. I could do this and who knew? Maybe our luck would change.

On the way home that afternoon I was carrying eight dollars and a plastic tub, complete with lid and plastic carrying handle, that had once contained coleslaw, thanks to Mike. Another dollar saved towards my goal.

Jasper’s cough greeted me when I opened the door. Rushing to his side, I fetched him more drink and made him comfortable as best I could before starting supper from the previous night’s food. I had bought two potatoes and some bread to pad it out a little, but when I opened the bag I also found a chunk of cheese and two decent sized chicken legs, along with another bouillon cube. Fighting back grateful tears, I set about making more broth. Once our bellies were full, I told Jas about my meeting with Esme, expecting him to be upset that I had spoken to her about us. He let me finish, right down to showing him the tub I had gotten to carry our hot food home in. I was about to tell him about my plan for the clinic, when he hugged me as tight as his breathing would allow. Holding him close, I knew I would make sure everything would be okay, no matter what it took.

I loved him. I would not let him down.

~o.O.o~

Lunchtime on a Tuesday usually found me running around for customers in the hope of earning a tip.

Today I walked with a mix of trepidation and hope towards the soup kitchen, carrying my plastic tub. I wanted to carry our food home and keep it as warm as possible. I t struck me that most folk, even those with a low income, probably had a microwave oven in their homes. To be able to warm food up would be wonderful, but at this time we had no chance of such an item; it was my job to get this food home as quickly as possible while it was still warm. My stomach growled. I was used to that – being surrounded by food trucks and trailers meant I smelled food all day and my body screamed for more than it got. It was amazing how you just adapted to being hungry all the time – it was the status quo. Today though, today I relished the thought that I would get to eat something substantial, enough to help me work with more vigour and energy. I knew I flagged through lack of food; one lone apple and a bottle of constantly refilled water did not hold hunger at bay, nor did it give me the strength and vitality I needed to look healthy. Appearances were important because if I looked too pale there was the ever-present danger that people might think I was on drugs. I needed to look bright and enthusiastic, not desperate for a fix.

My courage started to fail when I approached the building. Several other people were making their way inside, some really struggling. Seeing one old man trip, I rushed forward and caught his arm. He staggered before righting himself.

“Thanks, son.” I held his arm and we went inside.

The smell of cooking hit me and, on cue, my stomach made its demands. I didn’t need to look to know that I was smelling a roast, my brain almost dizzy with need. Supporting the man, he led me to the line where we collected trays and waited to be served. Looking around me, I searched the room for a familiar face and then there she was – an apron tied around her waist and a net over her dark hair. She must have sensed me because she looked up and straight at me, a smile spreading across her face. When it was my turn she dished up two servings of meat, potatoes and vegetables before covering them with foil to keep in the heat. Placing them carefully in the tub, a fresh plate upside down over the lower one for protection, I sealed the lid before taking the paper sack she handed me containing two slices of cake. This went into my pocket.

Leaning over to me, she whispered:

“Did you go see about the community kitchen?” I shook my head – I planned to do that the following day. “Make sure you do. You can choose the items that are of the most use – things you can make a meal out of at home with the facilities you have.”

I nodded and smiled, feeling a childish, yet happy blush taint my skin.

“Thank you, Esme. You’ve been wonderful.”

“Hush now.” She turned her head away, but not before I saw her eyes glisten.

~o.O.o~

Hurrying home, I smiled the whole way. Jasper looked up when I came in, smelling the food that I carried. His voice was croaky, but eager.

“What did we get?”

I set down the tub and unpacked the food, feeling the heat trapped beneath the foil. Carrying the full plate over to the bed, I made Jasper a potholder from a towel and helped him sit and eat. I could see he was struggling, but he persisted. Mumbling through a mouthful, he looked at me.

“Eat yours. It’s really good.”

He was right. The roast pork was something I hadn’t tasted in years and I savoured every bite. The mashed potatoes were fluffy and buttery and soaked up the meat sauce. I scraped my plate clean and groaned at the unfamiliar feeling of an overfull belly. I staggered to the kitchen to rinse my plate and to boil some water for coffee. Jasper was still eating, the soft potatoes and sauce easier to swallow. When he had finished as much as he could, I separated the leftover meat from the rest and recovered his plate.

“We got cake too.”

I fished the packet of cake out of my coat pocket and showed him.

“We did? I can’t remember the last time I had cake. It will keep for tomorrow – I can’t eat anymore tonight.”

“Me either. My stomach is so full.” I rubbed a gentle hand over my own.

Jasper smiled and lay down, but in that same instant cried out with pain. I felt so helpless seeing him suffer. Rolling himself over, he grunted, pulled the blanket and extra pillow out from behind him and lay back down. His face relaxed, his body finding a comfortable position. Climbing in behind him, I reached out and touched his arm.

“Are you okay, Jas?”

He mumbled in the affirmative.

During the night Jasper’s cough worsened, and I saw how he clutched his ribs to control the pain. Lying on his right side, the side he clutched when coughing I noticed, he seemed to settle, the position offering him some relief. When his left hand reached back for me, I scooted over to spoon him, my arm loose across the waist, happy to be next to him again.  

With his hand in mine, we both slept.

~o.O.o~

The community kitchen was a new experience.

It was busy and I hovered, unsure of the protocol. Watching the other customers, I saw them gathering items into a box. Speaking to a worker there, I learned that I could get enough to make a week’s worth of meals, plus some essential toiletries.

Taking a deep breath, I told her as simply as I could that we had no oven, only a hotplate, and were limited in what we could cook. She looked at me for a long moment before showing me some instant snacks of the just-add-water kind. I knew Jasper wouldn’t like that kind of food, but I kept quiet and nodded. She showed the canned goods – vegetables, meat and fish – and my face brightened. I couldn’t remember ever seeing a can opener so I asked if we could take cans with pull tops just in case. She was fine with that and so I took some canned potatoes, carrots, peas and beans, some beef, chicken and tuna, also some soup and dried pasta. She saw my indecision and pointed out the breakfast cereals, some of which could be eaten dry. Reaching for a box of Cheerios and sterilised milk, I went back and added two dehydrated noodle pots for days when we lacked funds – an easy if not really nutritious meal was better than a gnawing stomach. In a tentative gesture, I pointed at a jar of coffee, and she nodded, adding it to my box. Next came the toiletries and I made a beeline for the toothbrushes and toothpaste, excited to be getting new brushes. Some deodorant, soap, detergent, and packets of toilet tissue filled the box and my face must have registered my happiness, yet the woman looked surprised. She pointed out that I had food for about three days only and didn’t I think I should get some more? I opened my mouth to say that this would last us for ages and then shut it again. I reached for a large loaf of sliced bread and additional cans of meat, stew, soup and potatoes, a large jar of peanut butter, and packets of raisins, unable to believe that we could have all this food.

On leaving, the woman mentioned something else.

“You really should go to Goodwill when you can. You could pick up a cheap basic microwave and a toaster. It would give you more options for hot food.”

I didn’t mention that we lacked the basics, not even owning a kettle or a frying pan. There was no denying her idea was a good one though. I filed it away for later thought.

~o.O.o~

Carrying my box home tired me more than I cared to admit. The extra hours work on less food was taking its toll. At least the food I carried would nourish us both. Juggling my cargo, I opened the door, eager to show Jasper. He was asleep, his breathing noisy. I set the box down. Walking to the bed, I sat on the edge and smoothed his hair back. It needed washing. He stirred, his face pale and clammy.

“Hi. What time is it?”

“After twelve. I’m here for a while yet. I really should change this bed. How about we wash your hair too?”

He smiled, a rueful expression.

“I know I stink. Okay – we’ll need the fire on for a bit to dry the sheet though. There’s one other in the drawer.” He pointed and I went to check it out. It was older and worn, but intact.

“Perfect. Let’s do this. I’ll boil the water and we’ll get you cleaned up and back into a fresh bed.”

“Thank you, love.”

With the water hot, I helped him up, wrapping him in a blanket. I changed the sheet and pillow cover, balling up the dirty ones for washing. Next I settled him into the bath, tilting his head to shampoo and rinse his blond hair before sponging him down with warm water and soap, supporting him with my arm to prevent further pain to his chest. He sighed, enjoying the sensation of the warm water. I held the hot cloth to his neck to ease the ache and then saw with mounting worry that he was losing weight, his lack of appetite working against him. With the food I had gotten today, I just needed to make rent and then any leftover money would be used to get Jasper to the doctor.

I hoped that I could make the money fast. Time was ticking.

~o.O.o~

Once I had Jasper settled into the clean bed, I made him a hot honey drink before setting off for the market. It was slim pickings, but I managed to score a few extra dollars fetching and carrying. I told Tony about my success with the food and he nodded, looking relieved. After sweeping up, I headed straight home to be with Jasper, my takings for the day safe and untouched in my pocket.

It was bitterly cold outside and I headed to bed as soon as we had eaten that night. Jasper slept, me spooning him whilst he held my hand. I lay awake, sharing my heat with him and wishing my love alone had the power to heal him. My mind wandered during the hours I lay awake, conjuring ideas and rejecting them, always coming back to the same conclusions: I needed a better job to get Jasper off the streets for good. Standing outside wearing almost nothing in this cold was completely wrong, and with his now weakened chest, he would likely get sick again easily. I got to be fully clothed at work and I wanted the same for my boy – he deserved the same basic rights. I wanted him safe in every way, both from danger and disease.

My thoughts raced unabated, thinking of things that had no place showing their faces in the light of day. It forced me to admit that should he and I ever become intimate I would struggle to share him. I would want him all to myself – his mind, body and beautiful soul. I already hated the men that used him now; if we became more, I would not be able to deal with them anymore. Jealousy was such an ugly emotion, but it forced me to accept the truth, stark as it was: if we were ever to move forward, Jasper needed to be free of this lifestyle.

It also meant that, if he were to quit the sex worker market, I would have no further reason to hide behind for not making him mine fully and completely. Jasper chased away the nightmares, woke me and held me when they were bad. It was up to me to mentally move forward and face my demons. Jasper loved me, he would never force himself on me nor ignore me if I were to ask him to stop. I knew this. I had no experiences other than bad ones to compare it to, yet something told me that love was good – love was worth it.

Love was trust, and I trusted Jasper with my life. So, how could making love to him be anything other than right?

As I lay there in the dark, another thought hit me hard, one I had never asked him.

When was the last time that Jasper had given himself freely to someone he loved? Had he ever been in love before, had he made love with someone special to him before he started down this road, forever sullying any loving connotations that sex might have held for him?

Tears pooled in my eyes and I snuggled closer to him, trying to chase away the one overwhelming thought that beat on the door to be let in.

What if Jasper had never been truly loved before either?

~o.O.o~

At least the morning dawned dry when we woke and I checked out the window. I made us coffee and fresh bread with peanut butter. Jasper wanted to know what I had gotten the day before, and was stunned when I showed him the box, unable to believe it. I watched him eat, each bite slow and painful to him, to ensure he had some nutrition before I told him about the woman at the kitchen and her comment about Goodwill.

“I think it’s a good idea, Jas. Once we have you better, I’m going to save up for a kettle and a toaster. They should be easy to pick up for a few dollars, then we can make a hot breakfast each day. Maybe an extra pan too. How good would that be?” I hoped my enthusiasm was infectious because I could not give up. To my immense relief he nodded, a flare of hope behind his eyes.

“You’re so smart, Edward. Brave too. Nothing stops you, or gets you down. I love that.”

I felt myself flush.

“I’d do anything it takes. I’m learning that we deserve more – we deserve that others have and take for granted. We’re hard-working and honest. It shouldn’t hold us back.”

He sipped his coffee and looked up at me again.

“I know. It was so hopeless when it was just me. I see that now. Getting stuck in a rut, in a cycle of events, meant I couldn’t see the way out. But you can…”

He coughed, his face contorting with pain. When he could breathe again he smiled at me, that beautiful smile that lit up my day.

“You’d best be going. The sooner you’re gone, the sooner I get you back with me.”

I pulled on my sweater and coat, plus my boots over two pairs of holey socks.

“I know. Now the food is sorted for a few days I need to concentrate on rent. Wish me luck?”

I leaned in to kiss him and the yearned-for contact made my soul fly. His hand caressed my face.

“You don’t need it – it seems to find you. Long may it last.”

I smoothed back his hair and kissed him again.

“I’ll be back soon. Rest. Read a little if you’re not tired.”

I placed his book by the bed where he could reach along with another cup of coffee, and set off into the cold morning, my breath pluming before me.

The market was already busy, the dry weather bringing in the customers. For once I had more than an apple in my pocket. Today I had a sandwich and some raisins to keep me going, and the thought lifted my spirits. Today I would make some money and then I could concentrate on getting Jas to the doctor.

It was later, while I sat outside in the sun finishing off my sandwich, that I heard my name. I turned to look and was met with a jovial crash of happy dog, mouth open and laughing. Without thinking, my hands found Rosie’s ears, rubbing the heels of my hands into her neck, loving how her head fell to one side with a groan, her bodyweight collapsing against my leg, tail thumping hard. Esme stood nearby, her face creased in a smile from ear to ear, watching her ecstatic dog get reacquainted with her new friend. Looking up with a grin, I called out.

“Did you need me to watch her for you?” I turned back to Rosie. “Do you wanna play, girl? Wanna play?” Her ears pricked, despite still leaning against my leg.

“Would you? That would be great. I came prepared today in case I found you.” She handed me a tennis ball and a thrower. “She’s been walked and has done her business, but she’ll always play. Full of beans, aren’t you, Rosie?”

I grinned, happy to spend some time with the beautiful dog.

“No problem. We’ll go play some ball. Call us when you’re done. See you in a bit.”

We walked away from the cars and people, and over to the patch of scrubby grass nearby that was used as a popular lunchtime spot in the summertime, but as nothing more than an unofficial exercise park in the cold weather. Rosie stayed close to my leg, watching the ball I held in my hand with great excitement. Once we had space, I unclipped her leash and threw the ball across the grass, watching her bound after it, her coat glossy in the weak winter sun. Again and again she ran after the fuzzy yellow ball, loping across the grass, her tail waving, returning to me with the ball held aloft in her jaws. I laughed, picking up the now very wet ball, listening to Rosie pant with exertion and eagerness, her tongue lolling.

“Want more, do ya, girl? Go fetch it then!”

The yellow dot soared overhead followed by the thud of paws over the cold ground. She leaped to catch it yet again, and was on her way back when I heard Esme call.

“Edward?”

Calling Rosie to me, I attached her leash and let her carry her ball while we made our way back to where Esme waited, bags by her feet. She wasn’t alone; she stood talking to a tall, beautiful blonde woman who she appeared to know well, judging by their easy smiles and animated gesturing.

Seeing us approach, she called out.

“Edward! Come meet Tanya.”

With Rosie at my side, I stepped around the milling people and walked over to them.

“I hope she was good while I was gone.” Her hand found Rosie’s head, smiling at her dog’s waving tail and happy demeanour.

“Of course she was. She’s a sweetheart. She really loves that ball.” The wet and slimy item in question was still held firm between Rosie’s jaws.

Esme laughed.

“She’d play all day and still come back for more!” Turning to Tanya, she introduced me. “This is Edward, who I mentioned to you. He certainly has a way with dogs – Rosie’s smitten.”

Tanya smiled and held out her hand. I shook it without hesitation.

“Pleasure to meet you, Edward. Do you have much experience with dogs?”

“Not a great deal, no, but I love being around them. I had a dog growing up and I’d love one now if I could. One day.” My smile was apologetic; I knew I didn’t have the experience to work for her, but I blessed Esme for speaking to her anyway. She was a woman of her word.

Rosie whined for attention and my hand drifted down to rub her ears. Her groan of appreciation wasn’t lost on Tanya.

“How would you be cleaning up after them? It’s not all fun and glamour being a dog walker.”

I grinned. “I could cope with that.”

“And how about different temperaments? Some small dogs are rather spoiled and snappy, and some of the bigger dogs are hard to control, having not been properly trained when they were young. They can be difficult for an inexperienced handler.”

I thought for a moment.

“I can respect their boundaries. If they don’t like too much attention then it’s a case of working with them, rather than against them. Thy have to learn to trust me too. I have no fear of dogs, and once they associate me with walks and play I would hope they would be happy to come with me.”

I dropped my head a fraction, not wanting to appear over confident. I also didn’t really want to see disinterest in her gaze. However, when I felt able to bring my eyes back up, I saw smiles.

“Good answers. I’d like to give you a trial and see how you do. Esme speaks highly of you and I trust her judgement. If it works then I’ll call you on the days I need you. How does that sound?”

My heart sank.

“That sounds amazing, but I –“

Esme cut me off mid-sentence.

“I’ve sorted you out with an old phone of mine, Edward. You just need to keep it charged and you can get incoming calls. It’s a pay as you go cell phone so you’ll need credit if you want to call out.”

My mouth must have hung open because I couldn’t speak. When I found my voice I stuttered out my response.

“Thank you! Thank you! Ah… can you give the number to Tanya for me? I…”

She giggled then, a lovely sound, and handed me a bag containing a phone, charger and a piece of paper.

“The number’s in there, and yes, I have. Good luck, Edward, and I’ll see you soon, I hope.”

Only she and I knew that she meant at the soup kitchen, and I nodded, grateful.

“Definitely. Thank you, both of you.” I handed Rosie’s leash back to Esme. She picked up her bags and the three of them turned to leave.

“I’ll be in touch, Edward.” Tanya nodded in farewell.

Esme smiled back at me over her shoulder.

Truly an angel.

I couldn’t wait to tell Jasper.

~o.O.o~