No Turning Back - part 6

All characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.
No copyright infringement intended.

CHAPTER 6

Rosalie’s POV

Of course he loves me.

Say it, Emm.

SAY IT.

But when he finally spoke, his voice wistful, I just wanted him to stop.

“When we first found each other, I loved you more than I could bear. Being away from you, even for an hour, caused me so much pain that it felt as if half of me had been ripped away, leaving me hollow and cold. I was so lost without you then, Rose. Only you could make me feel whole and alive. You were my reason to be.

“But you have been gradually pulling away from me for so long now that that feeling of loss no longer exists. I can carry on without you. I tend to the horses, fix the house, hunt, go to school and barely notice whether or not you are there with me. I have been unknowingly adjusting to life without you - finding new ways to fill the days and nights that I spend mostly alone.”

He looked up at me through his lashes, his head down, his voice sad and defeated. My hopes for us were suddenly ashes in my mouth.

“Your relentless rejections have cured my addiction to you, Rose. I guess I should thank you for that.”

I let out a sob, my hand over my face, all pretence of self control lost as his words sank in.

“Emmett, please... I didn’t know...”

“You didn’t know? What didn’t you know, Rose? How your constant rejection emasculated me? That I would rather spend time with my brothers, than you?”

He ran his hands through his hair, choking out the words in a hoarse whisper.

“Do you have any idea how jealous I feel of Jasper and Alice? They are so in love and yet, even after almost 60 years of marriage, they still seem to get stronger every day. I envy them their happiness, Rose, even though it sickens me to feel like that about my family. I wanted that for us – to fall in love more each day, spending eternity with you by my side, but gradually that hope died. Was it such a crazy idea to just want to love my wife and be loved in return?”

My shoulders shook as my chest heaved with dry sobs. His words felt like physical blows.

When did my Emmett become so cruel?

I stood up, shakily, and walked over to where he stood. His eyes were closed, his body turned away with his arm around his stomach as if in pain. I reached out my hand and placed it gingerly on his bicep, willing him to look at me.

“Emmett?” My voice was high pitched and sounded odd to my ears. “Emmett, I love you so much. Don’t do this to us. Don’t throw it all away. We can make this work, Emmett – we can!. I will try harder, I promise you. We can get back to how we used to be ...”

He looked at me, his eyes full of pain.

“No, we can’t, Rose. Don’t you see? When I’m with you, I feel like the loneliest man on earth. I need more than that. Hell, I deserve more than that.”

He cupped my chin, gazing into my eyes, his thumb tracing my cheek. Craving his touch I leant into his hand but he withdrew it, leaving me desolate.

“I’m so sorry, Rose, but I’ve moved on. We’re over.” His voice sounded tight and strained.

I was stunned. He couldn’t possibly be serious! One silly fight and he was throwing everything away?

Is this really it for us?

Wait a minute...

“What did you just say? You’ve moved on? Have you been cheating on me, Emmett? Have you been seeing someone else behind my back? How? When? You couldn’t possibly have met someone else in only four days. It’s impossible.”

My hurt was giving way to anger as thoughts of his betrayal ate into me like acid.

And I would have picked up the scent immediately. The only thing he ever smells of these days is that damn human.

My head jerked up.

“Tell me it isn’t, Emmett. Tell me it isn’t the damn human.” My volume increased significantly as I failed to keep control of my rising temper. My hand now held his arm in a vice-like grip.

He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. That would be too disgusting.

I shook his arm violently, forcing him to acknowledge me.

“Tell me, Emmett. Tell me who she is.”

He straightened up, towering over me once more; his arms crossed defensively, his jaw set.

“Her name is Bella, as you well know.”

I screamed in frustration, beating my fists against his chest. “I was right! All along I was right! Just how long has this pathetic, pointless little affair been going on, Emmett? How LONG?”

“It started the night you left me,” he answered softly, gripping my hands to still them as he turned away to gaze out of the window. “It was like seeing her for the first time; my head was completely clear. I guess you could say that we found each other because of you.”

His shy dimpled smile, the one usually reserved exclusively for me, lit up his face, breaking my heart.

“She makes me so happy. I don’t feel lonely when I’m with her. I feel loved. I feel whole.”

I felt as though the walls were closing in on me as I was forced to face the undeniable truth: Emmett was in love with someone else, and that someone was a miserable, worthless human.

I should have killed her when she first started playing with what’s mine.

Roaring in fury, I sprang at him, attacking blindly, wanting to beat him down and make him feel small and insignificant. I wanted him to feel pain and loss and, above all, guilt at what he had done to me. I wanted him to fight back, to hit me and make the pain he was inflicting physical as well as emotional. Instead he just stood there, stoically, taking the full force of my relentless punches, jerking back on his feet as a fierce blow to the jaw caught him off guard.

I lost count of the punches I threw, the blows I inflicted on every inch of his face and body. I tore at him, kicked him and raked him with my nails. He took it all, without complaint, until my sobs overruled my anger and my energy drained from me. I collapsed to my knees on the polished floor, all semblance of dignity stripped away. When I spoke, my voice was raw.

“What am I supposed to do now, Emmett? Where am I supposed to go?”

He took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I can’t decide that for you, Rose, it’s entirely up to you. If you want to move back home then I can leave. Mom and dad will be home soon, and you can talk it through with them. If you want to put some spin on it so that I come off as the villain, then that’s ok. You do what you need to do. Just remember that we both know the truth, and Edward knows more than enough. For the family’s sake, especially Mom, I think we need to somehow make this split as dignified as possible. Neither one of us wants to be an outcast from those we love.”

He held out his hand and helped me to my feet. Looking down, I saw my skirt was ripped all up one side and my pantyhose were shredded. I was a mess. Emmett was no better - his shirt was destroyed, hanging in strips where I had slashed and clawed at it. He looked like he’d done battle with a mountain lion.

I shrugged, resignedly. The briefest of bittersweet smiles crossed my face. I gestured to my clothing.

“This reminds me of our first honeymoon. We never did get the hang of buttons and zippers, did we?”

He smiled in recollection, walking to the staircase before turning back to look at me, his foot on the bottom tread.

“So – whose clothes are we packing?”

~xxXxx~

Emmett’s POV

In the end, it was Rose who decided to leave.

I waited while she changed into fresh clothes, and then we packed up most of her belongings into our suitcases. I had left her alone while she took a long last look around the room, knowing that she could smell Bella everywhere and hating myself for causing her more pain.

She believed that I had betrayed her, something I had never done, despite having had the opportunity. In the past, our mutual jealousy had caused some vicious fights. Whenever we ran into Felix of the Volturi, he always made a play for Rose, and unfortunately her brush-offs never seemed to deter him. I hated that scumbag. He taunted me at every opportunity, telling me I wasn’t good enough for her and that she would be much better off with him in the Volturi guard. I, in turn, had attracted the attention of a couple of nomad girls we ran into while visiting family. They sure were flirtatious, and more than once I had had to hold Rose back, knowing the trouble it would cause if they had a show down.

But we always made up after our fights and she should know that, deep down, I would have never intentionally hurt her.

I carried her bags downstairs and packed them into her convertible. Then we stood awkwardly, neither knowing how to say goodbye. I held out my arms and she walked in for a long, last hug.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

She nodded once before climbing into the car.

I watched her drive away. She didn’t look back.

~xxXxx~

I slumped down on the couch trying to process what had just happened. Of course I had known that Rose would come back at some point. I guess I had stupidly envisioned it being weeks or even months down the line, probably after Jasper had gone in search of her and dragged her ass back here to face the family.

I sighed. I felt emotionally drained by the events of the last couple of hours, and shaky just thinking about what could have happened if Alice hadn’t called to warn me.

Thanks, little sis. I owe you big time. Your next pair of Louboutins are on me.

I stood up. I needed to see Bella now - more than ever I needed her warmth and her smile. Looking down at my clothes, I realised that I was a mess and I dashed upstairs to grab a fresh football jersey before sprinting down to the cottage, calling out to Edward on the way. As it came into view, I saw Edward appear in the doorway making shushing motions with his hand. Raising an eyebrow, I poked my head around the door and saw Bella asleep on the couch. I immediately noticed dried tear tracks on her cheek. I looked at Edward questioningly, and he shrugged and nodded, pulling the door quietly closed behind him.

“She was seriously freaking, Emm; convinced that Rose would persuade you to take her back. I tried to reason with her as best I could, but she clung to me sobbing until she finally fell asleep. To be honest, I’m glad she’s sleeping because I was out of my depth there for a while.”

“What else did she say, Ed? I need to know.”

“She wanted to know if she was just a rebound relationship for you, and whether you’d ever had...affairs...before. I wasn’t prepared to answer those types of questions - it’s not up to me. You need to talk to her as soon as possible and let her know where she stands. She was talking of leaving Forks if...”

My eyes widened in shock and panic. I couldn’t suppress the low growl in my chest.

“Leaving? Hell, no. I have to talk to her – I have to explain. She can’t leave, Edward. Rose has moved out; she thought that she could just walk in and I would just take her back like all the other times, but I just couldn’t do it. Not this time. I want to be with Bella. She’s all I think about.”

Edward’s mouth twitched up in a lopsided smile.

“I know, bro, it’s kind of hard to miss when your mind is shouting it at me. How is Rose? How did she take the news? I heard ... raised voices.”

“That’s an understatement. She lost it, Edward. She thought she could waltz back in and I would forgive her. When I tried to reason with her, to explain how I felt, she attacked me, full on. You should see my clothes. If I was human she would have broken every bone in my body. Imagine what she would have done to Bella if ...”

I shuddered. Edward shook my shoulder and I looked up.

“But she didn’t. She didn’t know Bella was here, thanks to Alice. Although if we’d had more time she might have been better off at home, out of harm’s way.”

“How would she be safer at home than here with you? Don’t be ridiculous. If Rose had decided to attack Bella, then her home would be the worst place for her to be. She would be completely defenceless. At least here she had you to protect her. It’s why I brought her here.”

Edward didn’t respond.

“Edward...” I stopped for a long moment, trying to find the words I needed to ask the one question that had been playing on my mind for days.

Just ask him.

“Edward, are you ok... with Bella, I mean? It’s just ... you never seem comfortable around her, and she’s picked up on it too. I get it if it’s because she’s human, but I have to know, dude.”

He hesitated and I knew I was right. There was something on his mind.

“What is it, Ed? Do you have a problem with my girl? And remember, you can’t lie for shit.”

He grimaced, and walked a little ahead of where I stood.

“I don’t have a problem with Bella, Emm. I promise you. I’m just really ... nervous around her. I almost feel, I don’t know... drawn to her. I don’t know why, exactly. I wish I could explain this better, but I don’t fully understand it myself.”

He ran his hands through his already messed up hair in frustration.

I was stunned. “Dude - are you telling me you’re attracted to Bella? What the hell? Since when?”

He took a slow breath, letting it out noisily while shuffling his feet. His eyes were squeezed shut when he spoke.

“It started when we all first met her. I really wanted to go and talk to her, but I couldn’t seem to find the words; ironic for someone who reads as much as I do. ” He laughed bitterly. “Then you made her laugh and broke the ice. I was mesmerised – you made it look so effortless. Then, as time went on, the two of you seemed so comfortable with each other that I just ... stepped back. I wish I’d been brave enough to approach her and just say ‘hi’, but the longer I left it the harder I found it, so eventually ...” He just shook his head, his eyes cast downward.

“You just avoided her completely.”

He nodded briefly.

I looked at him long and hard.

“So – these feelings you have for her; please tell me they’re the sisterly kind. Don’t make me have to kick your ass.”

He looked more uncomfortable then I’d ever seen him.

“I ... I don’t know. I’ve not really allowed myself to process that thought. You know that I don’t have experience with these types of feelings. And after this morning I’m more confused than ever...”

His hair now resembled a pissed off porcupine.

This day was going from bad to worse.

I can’t lose her.

Biting back a growl, I tried to steady my voice and ask the one question I didn’t want the answer to.

“I need to know, bro - are you after my girl?”

He leaned forward, his head down, his hands braced on the doorframe.

“She’s your girl, Emm, and I have no intention of getting in the way of that...” He tailed off, nervously. “I-I’m really sorry – I never meant this to be any kind of issue between us...”

I was trying, unsuccessfully, to get my head around this new information when a thump inside the cottage startled me out of my thoughts.

~xxXxx~

Bella’s POV

When I woke, the cottage was silent.

I felt panic bubble up in my chest as I looked around for signs of Edward or Emmett, and realised that I was alone.

Where are they? How long was I asleep?

I had been lying awkwardly on the couch and, attempting to stand, I fell heavily against the low table, yelping in pain.

Damn pins and needles.

I rubbed my shin, knowing I’d have a bruise the size of an orange in minutes. As I turned towards the door it burst open, revealing a worried Emmett.

“What was that? Are you ok?”

He rushed in and hugged me tight to him. I clung to him, so happy to have him in my arms again, determined to drink him in if this was to be the last time. He hand was in my hair, his lips skimming my head. Pulling back, he looked me over.

“I-I’m ok. I just fell and hurt my leg, that’s all. Cramp really doesn’t help the uncoordinated.”

My laugh was forced and he knew it. Looking up at him, I tried to read the answer to my unasked question in his eyes, but all I could see was concern for me. I couldn’t shake the fear that he was plucking up the courage to tell me he was leaving me. My lips felt numb as they struggled to form the words.

“Emm, how-how did it go? With ... Rose?”

He went very still.

“How did you know?” He sighed, his hands falling to his sides. “Well I guess it doesn’t matter anyway - it’s done now.”

I took a step back, keeping my eyes low so he wouldn’t see the tears glistening. I prayed that they wouldn’t fall and give me away.

“It’s ok; you don’t have to say it. Edward said that you always take her back. I’m happy for you. Really I am. And we h-had fun, didn’t we. I guess I always knew I couldn’t be more than a... distraction...” My breathing hitched and I gulped noisily, swallowing down tears.

I heard him take a harsh breath.

“Fun? Is that all this is to you?” He spoke so quietly I barely caught the words.

My hands balled into fists, my nails digging into my palms.

Be strong.

“You belong with Rose. She is your past, your present... your world. How can I compare to that?”

“You think I don’t want you? Is that what you’re saying?”

Please don’t make this harder, Emmett. Of course I want you. But we don’t always get what we want, do we...

“No, I-I just know that your wife is everything to you, and one stupid fight isn’t a big deal, in the scheme of things.”

“One stupid fight? Baby, is that what you think all this is about?” His voice was incredulous.

I felt his cool fingers brushing the hair from my face before moving under my chin, gently tilting it up to look at him. His thumb caught a tear that spilled over, despite my resolve, and I heard his sharp intake of breath.

“Bella, look at me. Please, baby, look at me.”

I dragged my eyes up to meet his.

“It’s you,” he said softly, his golden eyes burning into my soul.

“It’s you that I want. You are my present, my future, my everything. I love you, Bella. I love you so much.”

I felt my throat constrict as the dam threatened to break. His beautiful face was so sincere, his eyes full of warmth and promise.

“But ... why? I just don’t understand. Are you sure?” My voice sounded far away to my ears.

His smile lit his face as he bent down to kiss the tears from my cheeks before claiming my mouth, long and hard, his tongue reaching out to mine and sending my senses spiralling into orbit.

Behind Emmett, I vaguely heard the words “Oh, get a room ...”