Ok. Firstly let me just say that I had no intention of continuing this at all. None. It was a simple one shot. But, after quite a few prods and pleadings from readers, I agreed to try. Here is the result – I hope it doesn’t disappoint.
As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. As Kylie said, I should be so lucky.
~xxXxx~
CHAPTER 2
EPOV
Ending the call, Carlisle leaned in to me, smiling and relaxed.
In contrast I was free-falling, overwhelmed with guilt and shame.
His hand slid around the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deep kiss that sent waves of lust coursing through me as my traitorous body responded to his demanding lips. His tongue caressed mine in an erotic dance, making my body flame with heat as it promised delights beyond compare. I heard a helpless, desperate groan and realised it came from me, my body aroused even as my mind wandered aimlessly in a wasteland of confusion.
When the kiss broke we were both a little breathless and shaky. He rested his forehead on mine for a moment before touching his thumb to his lip in a familiar gesture, his eyes dark. Looking into those eyes I could still feel him in me from this morning - it was like he’d left a space.
“I’ll call you Friday. Well, tomorrow, now,” he said with a smile that made my chest ache. My answering grin was only slightly forced as I reached groggily for the door, my breathing uneven as desire for him blended with the pain of my impending loss.
“Until tomorrow.” I closed the door and the car purred away, taking him... where? I never did ask him what he did.
We had been a bit... distracted.
I grinned in spite of myself. But then reality hit and I groaned. Unlocking the bar, I went inside and flicked on the lights. Lifting down a stool I sat, my head falling into my hands.
How did this happen? How could he be Lauren’s father?
It was surreal. I had to end this before everyone involved got hurt. I would break it off with Lauren as planned, and then end it with Carlisle. That way, neither would ever know about the other and they would be spared the unnecessary pain and embarrassment. I felt a little better, more in control, the decision made in my mind.
Well, that’s not strictly true, is it?
The thought of ending my relationship with Carlisle before it ever had the chance to truly begin brought back that raw ache in my chest with a vengeance.
It’s your own fault. You cheated on Lauren.
Yes. Yes I did. But this price was too high.
But who would have guessed that she was his daughter? Lots of girls have long, blonde hair – it didn’t make them all related to Carlisle, did it? And even if I had broken it off with her beforehand, it wouldn’t change the basic facts as they stood.
He’s her FATHER. She’s never going to be okay with that. Does she even know he’s gay?
My head shot up at that thought.
Oh my god. I could have outed him to his own daughter. I could have ruined his relationship with her.
He’s better off without me in his life. I would just fuck it up for him.
Alone in the empty bar, sinking down under the weight of my own self-loathing, my shoulders shook with silent sobs as the future I craved shattered around me like fine crystal on a marble floor.
~xxXxx~
CPOV
Throughout the day, many people commented on my constant smile. While that was not that unusual in itself, I was by nature a contemplative person, often lost in thought; more so since my first visit to McCarty’s bar, a few short weeks ago. They asked me the reason: did I have a secret? A new lady friend, perhaps? I just laughed and brushed away their questions, never confirming or denying.
Three long standing colleagues knew of my orientation, and I trusted them implicitly. But that trust did not mean they could control their curiosity any more than the other staff, and so it was only a matter of time before I was cornered by Alice and Rosalie in my office and asked to explain myself. Alice, in particular, was persistent, and would not be denied details.
“You met someone.” It was given as a statement of fact, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she leaned in conspiratorially. “Is it him? You one you’ve been obsessing over these past weeks?”
I cleared my throat, feeling the heat of a tell-tale flush on my chest and neck at the thought of this morning’s shower. Alice could always be relied upon not to miss such telling details.
“Dr Cullen - you bad boy! Corrupting them young now, are we?” She giggled as I looked momentarily affronted at her accusation, my mouth open to deny the statement before realising that she was right.
Looking her straight in the eye I shot back: “How do you know it’s not he that is corrupting me?”
I raised an eyebrow, laughing at their dumbfounded expressions.
I’m going to be the topic of conversation at lunch today. Better have some ice handy for my burning ears.
I shooed Alice and Rosalie out of my office and back to work as their break was almost over. As the door was closing, I heard Rosalie’s soft voice drift back into the room:
“We’re going to need details later...”
Sitting down, I pondered Alice’s comment, shaking my head at their audacity.
He’s certainly younger than me - I’d guess no more than 3 or 4 years older than Lauren.
Note to self: find out.
I wasn’t unduly worried. After all, Esme and I had been so very young when we had Lauren, and I was still only 36. Esme had looked after her as I studied, and she had found work in the evenings to make ends meet. What neither of us had known was that I had been young and inexperienced in life, and all too late I had realised that I was sexually attracted to men. When I met Garrett at medical school the attraction had been instant, and I had been completely honest with Esme. We had cried and I had apologised over and over as we sobbed in each other’s arms. I swore to her that I hadn’t as much as kissed Garrett out of respect for her. Esme said she had suspected I wasn’t happy. Our sex life had been perfunctory after Lauren came along, and with no effort on my part had eventually dwindled away completely. That night we talked until the sun came up and finally decided to stay living together until I could afford to move out. As a result, Lauren had never known us as a couple, only as two people who loved her and shared her life, but not each other’s.
Esme had moved on with her life and married again, only to lose him in a tragic road accident when Lauren was 10. Since then, she and our daughter had lived alone. I still admired and respected her immensely.
Garrett and I had been a couple until we qualified as doctors when he then left for LA to specialise in plastic surgery. I had fulfilled my dream and become an ER medic. The split had been amicable enough, our time together ending naturally as our lives took separate directions. Over the years I had had a couple of long term loves, one several years my senior. That man had been a huge part of my life and I realised that I was now that older man in this new relationship and with that came great responsibility.
I hope I get to teach him as much as Marcus taught me.
I smiled fondly at the thought. The loss of Marcus, his sudden, unexpected heart attack, had been a dreadful shock that had left me reeling. I had been on my own for a considerable time after that, unable to forge that connection, that bond with another soul.
Until now.
The smile spread across my face. The next 24 hours were going to pass exceedingly slowly until I could see those green eyes again, their expressive depths full of heat and longing. I shook myself mentally.
Get back to work.
~xxXxx~
EPOV
So I was meant to be seeing Carlisle on Friday and Lauren on Saturday.
I needed a plan.
Lauren’s mother was very protective of her and a firm rule enforcer. I needed to find a way to see her without her mom finding out. With much trepidation, I pulled out my phone and messaged her to meet me after classes ended that afternoon. Her response was quick:
Studying w/Jess 2nite. Might b able 2 slip out b4 mom gets here. Say 7?
I sighed. The bar would be getting busy at seven with all the after work drinkers, and it also meant leaving Riley to cope on his own for at least an hour.
Longer if this goes badly.
I had no choice. Picking up the phone, I made the call.
“Emm? It’s Edward. I’m at the bar. Yeah, all ready to open up which is why I’m calling. Can anyone step in for me tonight? I have some urgent shit to sort out and I don’t want Riley left to run the place on his own. I’d rather get it sorted in private, much better for everyone concerned. Last thing I want is for it all to kick off in the bar tonight. Sorry for the short notice, man. Yeah, tonight should be enough. I appreciate this. Yeah, I owe you one.”
As I disconnected I breathed a sigh of relief. Emmett McCarty was the owner of McCarty’s bar and an old school friend of mine. He had built himself a solid business and had employed me as manager as soon as the place was ready to open. I worked hard, looked after the customers and never (usually) mixed business with pleasure. Relationship fallout in the bar could get ugly, and we didn’t want a reputation for trouble here. Which was why he was stepping in for me tonight – anything to avoid a showdown in his establishment.
Fifteen minutes later Emm walked in, telling me to move my ass and let the professionals do their job. I grinned, slapping his shoulder as I walked back out to my car. Closing the door I sat for a minute, wondering just how I was going to survive the next 48 hours. Carlisle was under my skin, and a part of me died at the thought of never touching him again.
For one night, life had seemed so perfect.
I was at a loss, completely unfamiliar with these feelings. In my own head I sounded like a sappy teenage girl.
Lauren.
The guilt hit me all over again. Starting the car I crawled home, feeling the weight of two people’s happiness slowly crushing me.
Once home I paced my small apartment, unable to settle as I watched the clock edge interminably toward 6:30. Pausing only to change my shirt, I climbed back into the car and set off for Jess’ house. I drove in silence, the words I had practiced in my head changing and switching until I was sure I was going to just blurt out the one thing I could never say:
“I’m in love with your father.” Oh yeah. That’d be just perfect.
I watched the view change from tree lined avenues to more modest backyards, until finally I reached the right place. Pulling up behind an elderly Buick LeSabre, I parked my Subaru and switched off the engine. I was a little early but I could wait.
I was starting to sweat. Under regular circumstances I would have had little trouble breaking it off with a girl, but this was entirely different. I kept picturing Carlisle’s beautiful face twisted in disgust and it spurred me on.
Seeing movement out of the corner of my eye, I looked up to see Lauren walking carefully down the cracked and pitted path, mindful of her heels, before hurrying across the kerb to the car. Opening the door, she hopped in, all smiles, her long blonde hair over one shoulder. She leaned in to kiss me and I turned just enough that her lips met my cheek. She sat back, worry etched on her beautiful face. It was several seconds before I could meet her gaze.
“Edward? What is it?”
I swallowed hard, my eyes closed.
Find the words. Tell her.
“Edward? Talk to me.” Her voice was cracking as she reached for me again. Opening my eyes, I moved my head away from her hand as I looked at her, breathing in sharply.
“Lauren, I can’t... see you anymore. It’s nothing you’ve done, I promise you.” I stumbled over the words, acutely aware of the cliché I was perpetrating. She interrupted me almost immediately, her voice an octave higher than before, fear taking hold.
“Is it mom? I know she’s tough, but after exams...”
“No, it’s not that...”
“Is it because I won’t sleep with you? Is that some sort of deal breaker? I know I said I needed time, Edward, but I’ll do other stuff if that’s what it takes to keep you until I’m ready...”
Just say yes, give her the believable lie...
I saw the tears glistening as her voice shook, and I berated myself inwardly for making this so difficult. The first tear slid down her cheek, leaving a wet trail line in her perfectly applied powder.
“No, no Lauren, it’s not that at all. I just can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to you.” More tears escaped as she struggled to understand my mumblings.
How could she? Until last night I hadn’t understood what I truly wanted either.
“Lauren. I never intended to hurt you. I swear. But the truth is (breathe, just breathe...) I don’t see us going anywhere long term and I think you would be better off with someone who can give you what you deserve.”
“But I love you, Edward... and I know you love me...” I winced, which didn’t go unnoticed. She recoiled.
“You don’t love me? So what - you were just going to bang me so you could say you were my first, and then dump me anyway? Is that it? Do you want me suck you off right now - would that be enough for you and your precious reputation?” The temper that I found so unappealing about her was escalating rapidly.
I took a deep breath. “Lauren, I want to date someone older and more experienced. There – I said it.”
I heard her gasp, and felt the movement of air before her hand hit my face with a resounding crack. My head was knocked sideways and I felt a sharp pain as my neck twisted sharply.
“You bastard! You think you can do better than me? Is that it? Well, go ahead and try because I’m better than you deserve. I hope, whoever she is, that she’s worth it. No one will want you when I’ve told everyone what you’re like, so don’t even think about hitting on any of my friends in the bar.”
She wrenched open the door, slamming it closed behind her as she stalked back to Jess’ front door. My fingers clasped around my head before knotting in my hair. Not wanting to risk the wrath of her mother, I quickly pulled away from the kerb. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I saw the red mark flaring on my cheek.
That went well...
I better warn Emmett. Looks like trouble could be on the cards at work after all.
~xxXxx~
CPOV
Tearing off my gloves I felt satisfaction that the young girl would make a full recovery. As she was wheeled off to recovery, I made my way to my office to shower and change. Passing the booking board I saw my final theatre slot had been cancelled as the patient had transferred to a private clinic. As I wasn’t on call tonight I changed my plans and quickly changed into my street clothes, deciding to go home to clean up.
Leaving the office I went to the admit desk to advise them if anyone needed me urgently I would have my bleeper with me, otherwise I was done for the night. Heading out into the late afternoon sunshine I found myself once again thinking of Edward. He had made a profound impact on me and I was a little nervous that I was raising my hopes only to have them dashed. He was, after all, a stunningly beautiful man who could have his pick of admirers – would he really want to settle for an older guy? Once the novelty wore off he might decide to leave me and go back to dating women instead; that was always a risk.
My insecurities were taking hold. I shook my head.
Enough worrying. Enjoy the moment and live in the now, Carlisle.
“You’re the fantasy I never knew I had.” With those words ringing in my ears, hope soared once again.
Arriving home, I placed my phone and beeper on the counter and made my way upstairs. Shrugging off my clothes, I walked into the shower and let the hot water soothe me. My hands were flat against the tile; I bowed my head as the water poured over me, vivid recollections of that morning rising unbidden behind my closed eyes. His choice had both surprised and delighted me when he allowed me the privilege of worshipping his body. I had expected him to shy away from the more physical aspect of lovemaking, and I felt momentarily guilty for causing him any pain or discomfort during that first, wonderful new experience. I regretted trying to take him in that position for his first time; face to face was more intimate and reassuring and watching his beautiful face contort with pleasure, the tight feel of him wrapped around me had been second to none. His pleasure was my pleasure, and all I had wanted was to drive him to ecstasy over and over again. Hearing him cry out and lose control had made me the happiest man on the planet at that moment.
I hadn’t felt this way since Marcus. I never thought I would again.
Please let him feel the same way.
I raised my face to the water for a moment before wiping my eyes and nose and leaning in, arms over my head, letting the jets pummel my shoulders. A groan escaped unbidden at the feel of their force on my knotted muscles. It had been a good day, no major complications in theatre – pretty routine all in all.
I smiled as I thought of Alistair. The girls had been talking to him during a rare quiet moment, and he had found me to ask me light hearted questions about my ‘mystery guy’ and if it was serious. I had fought back with questions about Liam, an Irish nurse that he had a fondness for. He had tried to parry but knew me well enough that I wouldn’t share until I was sure of how firm the grounding was. I was still too insecure about this fledgling partnership to be broadcasting it from the rooftops. He relented, but only because he was anxious for me to be ‘settled’ as he put it. Also, Alice, Rose and he worried about me being alone so much and made sure I was included in any group activity or entertainment that they arranged. I suspected that several of these gatherings had been organised solely for my benefit, however much Alice vehemently denied the accusation. Her eyes always held a ‘tell’ – she would be useless at poker.
To be fair, I was grateful for their interventions. I was a workaholic, I admitted as much. It covered my lack of a home life with a credible reason as to why I couldn’t date.
I simply don’t have the time. My standard comeback.
But Alistair and the girls knew I was lonely. They also knew it was completely out of character for me to go to a bar alone. I don’t actually know what came over me that day. I remember that I had lost a patient that afternoon – a cardiac tamponade had proved too much for my patient and she had died on the table. I felt remorse, even though there had been nothing more I could do for her – her heart was too weak. But still, I had berated myself in private for missing some clue. Driving by McCarty’s bar that Wednesday evening I had stopped on impulse. Without looking up I had ordered a Jack Daniels and coke, barely noticing my surroundings or the barman who took the order. However, when the drink arrived I looked up into green eyes with dilated pupils and a succulent mouth with slightly parted lips. I hadn’t been prepared for the punch to the gut I felt when I met those eyes, and I knew then and there that it wasn’t alcohol I craved, it was affection and intimacy. I paid him, barely able to form a coherent sentence, and so began my weekly visit to buy a drink I neither wanted nor needed. What I wanted couldn’t be found at the bottom of a shot glass or whisky tumbler, but I knew that he worked Wednesday nights... and that he watched me.
~xxXxx~
Flipping off the water, I roughly dried my hair and body before wrapping a fresh towel around my hips. Padding through to the bedroom I picked out my favourite jeans and a soft, well–worn shirt. Before I had the time to change however, I heard the chime of the doorbell. Looking down at the towel in exasperation, I knotted it firmly in place and ran downstairs to see what was important. I didn’t tend to get many visitors this far out of town.
Looking out of the small glass porthole, I couldn’t see a car. I opened the door partway, intending to get rid of the offending person who was standing between me and my relaxing evening.
“Can I come in?”
I didn’t know why he was here, nor did I care. Looking into those eyes, all I could think was that him being here was divine intervention. I stepped back, opening the door wider for him to step inside. He walked through to the kitchen, and under the harsher light I could see he looked worried and agitated.
“Edward, what happened? Talk to me.”
He looked up at me before dropping his head, his eyes squeezed shut. When he opened them again he seemed to gather himself.
“I... I... have to tell you something, and you’re not going to like it. Not at all.”
My heart sank like a stone.
“I... should have said something this morning but it was a shock and I needed time...” he tailed off, having trouble finding the words. I decided to help him out for both our sakes.
“You regret last night,” I stated simply. “I was afraid of this. I’m so sorry, Edward. I never intended for you to do anything you didn’t want to do.”
I was suddenly very conscious of the fact I was wearing only a towel. He looked at me in disbelief.
“No, no. I wanted to tell you that, to make this easier. But it would be a lie, Carlisle, and I owe it to you to be honest.”
“You don’t regret what we did? You don’t hate me for ‘perverting’ you in some way?”
I heard his throat click as he swallowed.
“I don’t regret a single moment of last night, or this morning, for that matter. It was perfect. It just can’t happen again.” His voice was strained. I reached out a hand to him.
“Edward, look at me. This is important. Did I hurt you? Physically, I mean? You need to tell me.”
He shook his head. Raising his eyes to mine, I saw hesitation mingled with desire as he took in my state of undress. Crossing the short distance between us he walked past me, heading out the door before stopping, seeming to suddenly make a decision. As I turned toward him he joined me quickly, his lips crashing into mine as his hand dived into my hair. I returned the kiss with heat, not understanding his thoughts but swept along by his passion and desperation. Pressed against the doorframe I was momentarily paralysed with lust, but when his hand found my obvious interest beneath the towel I groaned, and my hands moved to his shirt buttons. I opened them quickly and he shrugged off the shirt, throwing it at the counter where it slid onto the floor with a soft clatter.
Cradling his head in my hand, I heard his needy moan as my tongue flickered against his. His hand found my erection again, slipping beneath the towel to firmly massage my eager flesh. In response, my free hand roughly loosened his belt buckle enough to be able to slide inside the fabric and grip his ass. His breathing was raw, urgent... he was devouring me in his hunger and I struggled to breathe, yet still I held his face tightly to mine, unable to get enough of his lips.
When he finally pulled away, his lips swollen and deliciously reddened, his hoarse words made my heart race:
“I want you, Carlisle. Take me upstairs and show me how to make you scream.”
As we stood panting in the hallway there was a rattle as the front door opened, and a tearful voice was heard:
“He dumped me, daddy. He says he wants someone older and I don’t...”
Too late, her eyes fixed on Edward who looked like he was going to be physically sick.
And then I understood.
No comments:
Post a Comment